SIDE LIGHTS OF THE SENATE. A Merry Little Mill.

Te Aroha News, Volume IV, Issue 161, 17 July 1886, Page 4

SIDE LIGHTS OF THE SENATE. A Merry Little Mill.

It is flippancy to report that a stirring setto camo off last night in tho r3. PR.— British Prizo or Parliamentary King? After all, there are tournaments and tournaments. Two gladiators in the aiena, two knights in the lifts, two principals in the duello., would make a peg to hang the record on ; but these parallels do not suit vhe latitude so well as a similitude drawn fvom .1 native and popular source. The battle was fought under the Westminster rules, which superseded those of Queensberry for this occasion only. The principals engaged were the political champions of England, the celebrated "Old Chip?," alias the " Woodman," and the '' Brummagem Pet,'' alias " Cocky Joe "—" — "Cocky," da ivatur caucus, The figure excited unusual interest, for it was known that bad blood existed between the^e accomplished bruifcer?, and that tho contest would turn as much upon tho siti-tacHon of a spite as upon the Belt, with the po--ibili ties of the Premiership thrj-wn in. Tin-re was an enormous gathering of the Fancy, Royalty itself patronising the event as in the days of (jentloman Jackson and the 1111ruoital Cribb. The previous history of the men is matter of general knowledge. A. cabinet makor by trade, "Old Chips" joined ths-> profession of arm« more than half a century ago. tie won his last fiuht against the Conservative Chicken on a foul last summer, has m untamed a continual c^ckadoodle on the head of it ever since and -ho^n him=eif in divecs ways distinctly blue m >uldy for want ot a beating. He is n slo^ger pos se u aed of extraordinary staying po-vers, and up to every dodge of the prolession, in which he has taken the higher honours, but in the opinion of experts hia winning performances have eeldom been on the square. His fault is too much science, and a ten dency to go in over much for the sort of tactic known in the ring (and out of it) a? " fibbing." Tho Bruin, who threw up the screw-making business to pursue tho hollow glories of political conflict, has made no paiticular score up to last night, but his backers have always been prepared to stake five years of Mr Arch's life and Mr Broadhurst's chance of the Home Office, on the certainty of bis pulling off a big thins sometime. He is a middle weight of great ambition, and has proved himself a good plucked one in several desultory scrimmages. The encounter originated in a quarrel in Downing-street, when the novice, who had been long threatening to tackle the veteran, gave him open defiance. There was, however, a difficulty, as in the case of Jim Smith and Yanke9 Sullivan, over the choice of the locality, but chance more than arrangement brought it about that the meeting should take place on Irish ground. This circumstance introduced a third element into the proceedings, for the Irish champion, Paddy from Cork, who had offered to take on Cocky, attended with a strong Hibernian muster, the trouble was expected from his presence. The Brum was the first to turn up. When he shied hia castor over the rope?, or, what is the same thing, when he took his corner, the vast gathering applauded again and again. He looked as fie as a fiddle, hia very eye-glass shining with a suggestion of controversial muscles Be wore hia colours— orchid— en his breast, and was taken in hand by his second, Johnny Bright and the Marqui,-, who forthwith took him each by an ear, and proceeded to pour into that receptacle the course best calculated to lead to victory. Hid condition produced a most favourable impression .and it becamean instant belief eve n in the : hostile camp that his antagonist would find his work cut out for him. Loud cheers announced the arrival of the champion. He also eesmed trained to a nicety, and the hopes of his supporters revived at sight of his oratorical biceps, swelling with the big periods on which it was developed. As he took hie place he glanced at his adversary with an expression that seemed to cay, "I'm a Blizzard in Broadcloth. Mr Evil Merodach with the Sting of Saggitariue—look on me and wither." Big Bill, alias the Chancellor, and Chuffy office for the ancient warrior. His cognisance was a huge collar. It was near five when Umpire Peel called time, and the men faced one another. As they toed the scratch, enthusiasts versed in the history of the other Branch of the B.P.R. might reasonably have recalled the touching lines in which the defeat of the

illustrious Broughton, the founder of the National Institution, by his disciple Slack, stands registered. It was the same old ftory, with just a difference, of the acolyte proposing to administer adverse pepper to. the hierarch who had politically planted, watered, and brought him to blossom. The House cheered as the principals shook hands, the Brum with a tribute to his right honourable friend, the champion with a nod of acknowledgment, The little un forthwith began to force the fighting. He led off wit a well-meant allusion to tfie reason for his retirement, but the Old Hand was rot to be drawn, and Bhook his head with a smile as he dodged the deliver}' The Bruno, however, was not to be denied. He got home heavily with a reterence to the Land Purchase scheme, and received in return an upper cut of some severity in reference to " a Radical misunderstanding:,' which hit him with the force of a pun- | though it if only fair to say it was not meant to. First blood for the champion. Round Second. — Each left hia corner unsmiling, the Brum sparring in brilliant style ahout hia deep respect and admiration for the foe, who kept warily on hie guard and watched the action of his opponent with uneasy eye. The Chancellor .whispered a warning but it came too late, for the Brum took him with a right-hander on his box o' tricks, with un accusation that in refusing to let him lay certain correspondence before the House he had compelled him to fight with hie hands tied. The blow made the veteran squirm a bit, and for a moment he ' looked all abroad, the Brum surveying him as though asking him whether he found that sort of thing an aid to digestion, and, if so, there was plenty more in the °amo shop. A little groggy on his pin*, the ancient we.it fo his man, and punching, trit'd to crose-b-ittock him with a sneer at. the motive of his attack. Youth will bo served, and Cocky, shaking himself loose, drove his antagonist to the ropes with a dem m.J for permission to rend *,he crucial document ur the formal withdrawal of the sanction The veteran, rallying in his i corner, delivered one of his dangorous evasions, and than getting the youngster's head in chancery, fibbed him all round the ving amid the uproar of the beholders. The Marqufcwassoexcited that hedrewhis hands almost potnelyoutofhistrouoers pockets, but the lifting force exhausted itself, and the extremities slowly subsided ba°k again into their deep caverns at Scotch tweed. Kound t bird. — Bellow* mend on both sidep. A slight mouse visible on the Old Mm'rt organ of authenticity. The Brum, full of fight, led off with a further demand re-pe-ituig the criminating correspondence. Tne champion answered with a sib tickler deliveted in the shape of a reminder that in m itteiv of national moment the privileges of disclosure must bo limited. The beholders sromert to think thi-> foul play, and the Brum appealed him a piotest that, this style of defence di-db'ed him. He rushed at hia man, however, with a fresh demand, and driving him ng.iin to his corner, rhe grand old gUdiutor dropped to escapo punishment '-t sig'it of this the Triah champion sore off hia co'it, and hi« folio wei-s for a moment rbieirentd to break into the line, but the umpire iiiterpoc-mg restored order. Hound Fourth and Lasb— lt was ch.irp, | short, and aocieive. The Brutr floored his man with a smasher from his own Bill, and tho hirheito unbeaten hero sank backontke Treasury bench as a gentleman goes to gra«s upon another field. First knock -down for tho Bium. Tho champion failod to answer at call of time, and then a thrilling incident biMnl, rhe victor deliberately pquaring up to the Irish bruiser, delivered right and left upon him with the points of Excise md Customs. The uncrowned king gratefully accepted the battle, and there ensued a ding don it hammer and tong^ exchange, wherein thn Brum put in a series of damaging »bseition^, the Irishman replying wi«-h lather feeble denials. Brummagem caniad metal too heavy for Cork ; the dictator thrcv up t'»e sponge ; and the double conqueror, left master of the situation, rote up and down the rin^ for a good half hour, wind ing up with a challenge to any of " the I'-f-rviie politicians who di-grace poll tic il lite ' to step down and out from the shelter of anonymous slander, and meet him in the open liko a man. The only effect of this valorous invitation was that 'it created an insfMnr.ineou^elfcnnsciousnessin several membfirs of tho Ministiy, none of whom, however, acknowledged himself owner of tho cup