Hell-fire Pickles.

Te Aroha News, Volume IV, Issue 158, 26 June 1886, Page 1

Hell-fire Pickles.

A clergyman, after many years of labour in the bush, preaching the Go3pel to the heathen in the wilderness, found himself a victim to djspepaia, which threatened to terminate a life he waa by no means anxious to relinquish. He therefore consulted the best medical authorities, but without much result ; at last, at the suggestion of a friend, he consented to try a new pickle which professed to cure diseases of the kind our parson wag suffering from. They were extremely hot, and caused great pain when first used, but gradually our patient got accustomed to them and could take a dose without the slightest inconvenience, and as he found they exactly suited his case he never travelled without his bottle of pickles. One day he arrived at a hotel on his rounds, and in due time took his seat at the table, and placing his pickles before him, proceeded to fill up, A stranger sitting opposite observing his reverence applying to his bottle more than once, and j judging thereby that the contents must be good, remarked : '* Trouble you to pass the pickle 3, parson." The clergyman pretended not to hear, and continued eating his dinner. ** Say, boss, pass them pickles." No response, apparently quite deaf, again he mkde his request, but much louder, with the same result ; whereupon he reached over and secured the bottle ; then, having carefully wiped his fork on the table-cloth, he proceeded to rake out the pickle 3, which he conveyed to his mouth in greater bulk than 1b usually done by the initiated. Then he appeared to have a fit ; he sprang from his seat, clutching violently at the table ; his mouth was stretched to an enormons extent ; he gasped like a steam-engine, and tears ran from his eyes in torrents. Everyone sprang to hie assistance but the parson, who quietly asked for some more tart, and calmly observed the procession bearing the " fit " man to his room. Later on when the paraon was reading •'Sunday at Home" by the fireside in the parlour, a man looking like one in a decline came and aat by him. After some time he said : "You're a minister of the Gospel, ain't you ?" "Vee, my friend " " Well, I suppose you have read the Bible ?" *' Oh, yes, I have studied it daily for many years." "Oh, then, maybe you recollect that passage which refers to hell-fire ?" •* Yes, I could quote you several passages having reference to it." " Well, never mind just now, I waa only going to remark that you are the first man I ever knew who carried a sample about in his pocket."