CHAPTER XVII. DAVID BARROWS.

Te Aroha News, Volume IV, Issue 156, 12 June 1886, Page 8

CHAPTER XVII. DAVID BARROWS.

tell-tale green, envelope > unbroken,; and tits contents, in so far aa 1 could see, unviQlated and undisturbed^ ,im ' ; * u . ( ,u* >m :•»,. i,

I hava lived lonjr enough.— lVJaobbtii. Before I proceeded to 'open this letter; I reasoned some time with! myself.* The ViH by which I had come ' into possession* of Ada's eflfeota was, as, l khew^, informal and poseibly. illegal. < ,Bjit it.waa the expression of her wishes, and .there bad been no one to dispute the'm'or question 'my* 'right i» the ibheritahce she had so innocently bei^ue*thed me. At the same time I felt a hesitation about using her money; and it was not till I remembered the ti'ust she had reposed in me, and the promise I bad given her to support Mr 1 Barrows's good name before the world, that I summoned up sufficient deter. < mination to break its seal. My duty, once clear to me, however, I no longer hesitated. This is the result : #<;>«.

, " September 23rd— '(Evening.) ♦• My Beloved Ada :— Could I by any means mitigate the blow which I am foroed to deal you, believe me it should^ be done. But no words can prepare you for the terrible fact I am about to reveal,, and I think from what I know of you, and of your delicate but strong soul, that in a matter of life and death like .this the most direct language is what you would choose mo to employ. " Know then, dearest of all women, that a duty I dare not fly from condemns me to death ; that the love we have cherished, the hopes in which we have indulged, can have no fulfilment in this world, but must be yielded as a sacrifice to the inexorable claim of conscience aud that ideal of right which has been mine since I took upon myself the lofty vocation of a Christian minister. " You.my people, my own self even, have thought me an honest man. God knows I meant to be, even to the point of requiring nothing from others I was not willing to give myself. But our beat friends do not know us ; we do not know ourselves. When the hour of trial came, and a sudden call was made upon my faith and honour, I failed to sustain myself, failed ignomin iously, showing myself to be no stronger than the weakest of my flock aye.than the child that flies before a shadow because it ia black, and he does not or will not see that it is his father's form that casts it. "Such lapses on the part of men professing to lead others demand heavy penalties. 1 feared to lose my life, therefore my life mußt go. Nothing short of this would reinstate me in my own eyes, or give to my repentance that stern and absolute quality which the nature of my sin imperatively demands. " That I must involve yon in my Borrow and destruction is the bitterest drop in my cup. But dainty and flower like as you are, you have a great nature, and would not hold me back from an act necessary to the welfare and honour of my eternal soul. I see you rather urging me on, or giving me your lest kiss, and smiling upon me with I your own inspiring smile. So sure am lof this, that I can bear not to see you again ; bear to walk for the last time by your house, having only my blessing in the air. For it is a part of my doom that I may not see you ; since, were I to find myself in your presence, I could scarcely forbear telling you whither I was going, and that no man must know till all jias been accomplished. "I go, then, without other farewull than these poor words can give you. Be strong, and bear my loss as many a noble woman before has borne the wreck of all her hopes. When lam found — as some day I shall be— tell my people I died in the Christian faith, and for the simple reason that my honour as a man and a minister demanded it. If they love me, they will take my word for it ; but if the questions should arise, and a fuller knowledge of my fate and the reasons which led me to such an act should in your judgment seem to be required, then go to my desk, and, in a secret drawer let into the back, you will find a detailed confession which will answer every inquiry and yet straight any false or unworthy suspicions that may arise. " But heed these words and mark them well ; Till such a need should ari3e, the manuscript is to be kept inviolate even from you ; and no matter what the seeming need, or by what love or anxiety you may be driven, touch not that desk nor drawer till ten days have elapsed, or I shall think you love my body more than me, and the enjoyment of temporal comfort to the eternal weight of glory which is laid up for those who hold out steadfast to the end. " And now.my dear,my dear, with all the affection of ray poor, weak, erring heart, I hold out arms of love towards you. Farewell fcr a short space. When we meet again may it be on equal terms once more, the heavy sin blotted out, the grievous wrong expiated. " I'ill then, God bless you. David. Do not wonder at my revealing nothing of this in our late interviews. You were so happy, I dared not drop a shadow one day sooner than was necessary into your young life. Besides, my struggle was dark and secret, and could brook no eye upon it save that of the eternal God."