The Scuttle Trick.

Te Aroha News, Volume III, Issue 127, 7 November 1885, Page 3

The Scuttle Trick.

" You see, Martha got in the habit of sitting up for me at an early age, and she can't break it off. I couldn't persuade her to go to bed and mind her own business, so I studied on the matter. We live in one of the centre houses of a block of five-story and attic buildings. There's scuttles in the roofs of all of them, and I persuaded Mr Greenup, who lives in the adjoining house, to let me in his house one night about one o'clock, and I went up through his scuttle and over to mine, and so down into our bedroom. I could see Martha, from the head of the stairs, sitting in the front room eyeing the clock with a look that was a very tart chromo. But I undressed and quietly got into bed, and there 1 lay awaiting developments. Every now and then I'd hear Martha give a short fidgety cough. Then I'd hear her get up, prance around the room a little, and by and -by go to the front windows and slam the shutters. After I'd lain there about 9n hour I heard her get up and go and stand on the front stoop for a good ten minutes. Then she came in and slammed the doorand locked [it, and commenced coming up stairs. Every other step ■he d say : " « Oh, the wretch ! Won't I give it to him ! I know where he is ! I know where he is ! He needn't think to deceive me ! Oh, the villain !' " 'Bout the time she had nearly got to the landing I think ehe must have seen the light streaming out of the door that I'd left ajar. I could hear her stop, and then I commenced to snore. Then she came into the room, and, by the way she breathed and stood round, 1 had to nearly bite my tongue off to keep a straight face on me, I could feel that she sat down in a chair, and was dumfouaded. I never let on, but kept on snoring ; but when she kicked over a chair I turned and pretended to wake up, kind of dazed like, and pay : " 'Why, Martha, dear, ain't you come to bed yet?' " • Jarphly,' said she, awful slow and solemn like ; ' when did you come in ?' " • Why, must be four or five hours ago. Don't you remember when I told you not to go to sleep again in the rocker, but to come up to bed?' and I turned over and professed to go to sleep again. " She never made any reply, but acted in a dazed, bewildered sort of way, and when she got to bed I could tell she didn't sleep a wink for three hours. Next morning it was fun to watch Martha. I could hardly keep a straight face. At the breakfast table and all the time I was about the house, she'd eye me when she thought I wasn't looking ; then, when I'd notice her, she'd turn away and toe awfully busy at something. She caught me kind of grinning once, and, by George, I thought the explosion was about to come. But it I didn't, though the look of blank unfathomable suspicion she wore on her face all the time was the greatest show on earth. It nearly broke me up, and I've laughed till my ribs ache ever since. I know it won't last. I know there's a day of reckoning acoming, and the thermometer is going up clear out of sight in the Jarphly family. But who's going after trouble ? It'll come soon enough without hunting for it, and I'm going to enjoy that acuttlein the roof until the explosion comes."

' Wellington Education Board are accused of perpetrating a •'discreditable job" by appointing a drawing master from Sydney at a, salary of £400, a year— the t Boar 4 d receiving £200 a year in aid from the Normal School Fund. . .