"Judicious" and "Pruning" Wives.

Te Aroha News, Volume II, Issue 102, 16 May 1885, Page 4

"Judicious" and "Pruning" Wives.

"A judicious wife," says Ruskin, "is always nipping off from her husband's moral nature little twigs that are growing in wrong directions. She keeps him in i shape by continual pruning." If this is true, there are a few points of minor morals, that is manners, on which I wish some of my married friends would give their husbands a course of instruction. And first of these is something which they were supposed to have learned in dancing school or in the nursery at home - that is, how to "make a bow to the lady." They acquit themselves pretty creditably on state occasions, during introduction ceremonies, and so forth, but the average man is lament* ably careless in the matter of street salutations, and not one in a hundred but what would get a new idea or two on the subject if you read him the following paragraph from " The Mentor": In public the bow is the proper mode of salutation, and, according to circumstances, it should be familiar, cordial, respectful or formal. An inclination of the head or a gesture with the hand or cane suffices between men, except when one would be specially deferent as to age or position ; but in saluting a lady, the hat should be removed. A very common mode of doing this at present, particularly by the younger men, is to je^k the hat off and sling it on as hastily as possible. As haste is incompatible with grace, and as there is an old pantomimic law that " every picture must be held " for a longer or shorter time, the jerk-and-sling manner of removing the bat in salutation is not to be commended. The empressment a man puts into his salutation is graduated by circumstances, the most deferential manner being to carry the bat down the full length of the arm, keeping it there until the person saluted has passed. If a man stop3 to speak to a lady in the street he should remain uncovered, unless the conversation should be protracted, which it is sure not to be if either of the party knows and cares to observe the proprieties A well-bred man, meeting a lady in a public place, though she is a near relative — wife, mother or sister — and he may have parted from her but half an hour before, will salute her as deferentially as he would salute a mere acquaintance. The passers-by are ignorant of the relationship, and to them his deferential manner says: " She is a lady." Then there's the matter of tobacco. 0 course you and every other woman agree with Mrs Frances Harper when she said, at the Women's Congress not long since, that she thought it the proper thing for a man to keep his mouth nice enough to be kissed. But if your husband will smoke, do use your influence to have him to do it like a gentleman, if possible. That is, let him put but as much of his cigar in his mouth as necessary in order to draw it, keep it in his mouth no longer than isnecessary, and never fail to remove it when he talks or passes anyone towards whom ho would be respected, especially a lady. Furthermore, convince him if you can that our best-bred men never smoke in the street at any hour when it is much frequented, nor any public place where smoking is likely to be offensive to others. And this suggests another thing ; do excuse me for speaking of anything so unpleasant, but won't you please ask him not to use all creation for a cuspidore ? Just remind him that women also have to use the public sidewalks, and staircases, and cars, and that nothing can prevent dress skirts from brushing stairs, or resting on car floors, no matter how vile said stairs and floors may be. If every wife would, to quote Ruskin's figure again, "prune" her husband's evil propensities in this direction, we might have at least an abatement of what is now an intolerable nuisance. Still another point — but, on the whole, if you are talking to an average man and wish to keep him good tempered, perhaps 'twould be better to change the subject now, andleavq the rest for some other day..