China on Roller-Skates.

Te Aroha News, Volume II, Issue 99, 25 April 1885, Page 5

China on Roller-Skates.

When the news was carried to Wun Lung that Hi Pi said he could knock Wun Lung out on rollee skatee. Wun lemarked : " I ekatee upside down he an' makee him think he only tlack walkee " Skates Mere arranged, a room secured, and Wun and JBi faced each other one night during the week. " You evel had skatee on ?" asked Wun. " Haldly eival," sneered Hi. "Me hardly elvel, too. Then I make you sickee. " " It snowee in heddee when I gittee left behind," answered Hi. The boys fastened the skates on the to-be contestants, and, of course, took particular pains to conceal the fact that they were " hind side before " " All ready ?" asked the starter. " Me leddy," answered Wun. 11 Let el lip," said Hi. "Then, go!" They started even, under most auspicious circumstances. Wun had proceeded about two feet, when he struck a clandestine nail in the floor. He went up in the air, doubled up, returned to the floor in a heap, and sat down on the back of Hi's head, just as the latter, who wae ploughing up the floor u ith hia nose, was endeavouring to find a safe place where he could crawl through to the cellar. They had scarcely been placed on their feet again when Wun's knees tripped up his chin, and he resembled a Chinese pyrotechnic as he went over backward and landed on his hair-escape. Hi stuck out boldly, and was nearing the end of his first lap when a careless lookor-on shoved a spittoon on the track. The spittoon and Hi met by chance, and then Hi sat down in it, and ruined its future prospects. This gave Wun a slieht advantage, and as he sailed past Hi he looked pleased. He forgot-, however, to step over Hi's outstretched leg, and as he sat down on it, it was heard to crack. The two were placed on their feet again, and the starter gave both a slight shove It was a die astrous shovo, for Hi's heels went from under him and he clawed the air. Aa he reached for support he grabbed Wun by the topknot, and the two loosened the floor as they came down together. They were finally sorted from among each other and started off once more. Hi had ouly gone aboutfive feet when he saw another chance to bore his way through to the cellar with hia nose, and he took advantage of it Wun went meerily on As he passed around the room one of hia friends (?) gave him a shove. He looked pleased. He went round and round the room faster and faster. The corners of his mouth went around to the rear of his head, and he yelled : " Now me knockee you out !" Suddenly his features began to lengthen, and he held fast to his blouse. It became evident that he had lost control of the rollers. He wa9 nearing the spot where Hi was on hands and knees endeavouring to push himself to his feet. "Lunnee way, Hi! Lunnee way, Hi!" yelled Wun. " Hlevin's sake, lunnee way, ol me fall all ovol you !" Hi didn't hear, h e had other business under consideration. Wun came on at express train speed. His eyes bulged and his pigtail stood at right angles to'his body. He grabbed at a post, and it turned him around backward. He struck Hi fair on the back, cannoned, and went in among the benches. Hi leUurely crawled around to the starting-place, took off his skates, threw them in the window, and ran down stairs without saying a word. They had to plunge Wun into a water-barrel before he was as good aa new. Later in the day he poisoned Hi's cat.

Professor Kirk, who is reporting on forest conservation, is now It Blenheim, an<fc gomes North soqiv