CHAPTER XLIV (Continued).

Te Aroha News, Volume II, Issue 69, 27 September 1884, Page 4

CHAPTER XLIV (Continued).

THE WIDOW CLEMMEXS. *" June 10, 1872.— What's the use of having a home ? I declare I feel just like breaking down and crying. 1 don't want company : if women folks, they're always talking about their husbands and children ; an 1 if men, they're always saying: 'My wife's this, and my -wife's that.' But Ido want him. It's my right. ; what if I couldn't say three words to him that was agreeable, I could look at him and think : ' This s-plendid gentleman is my husband, I ain't so much alone in the world as folks think.' I'll put on my bonnet and run down the sheet Perhaps I'll see him sitting in the dubhouse w indow !" " EvrMxc. —I hate him. He has a haul, cruel, wicked heart. When 1 got to the club-house window he was fitting theie, so I just went walking by, ana he saw me and came out and hurtled me aw a} with teniblo words, saying he wouldn't have me hanging round where "he was ; that I had piomu-ed not to bother him, and that 1 must keep my woid, or he would -co me — ho didn't -a> where, but it-= ca-y enough to gue-s. So — so ! he thinks he'll put an cud torn) coming 1 to see him, does he? Well, pirhap- he can, but it he doe-, he -hall pay tor it by fuming to see me. I'll not -it day in and day out alone without the glimpse of a fare 1 love, not while I have a husband in the same town with me. He shall come, it it i.- only fora moment each day, or Til dare o\ crything and tell the world I am his wife.'' "Jink 1(5, 1872 —He had to consent' Meek as 1 have been, he know.- it won't do to rouse me too much. So to-da> he came in to dinner, and he had to acknowledge it was a good one. Oh, how I did teel when 1 saw his face on the other -ide of the t \ble ' I didn't know whether 1 hated him oi lo\ ed him. But I am sure now 1 hated him, tor he -'""arcely "poke to me all the tune he w aeating, and when he was tlnough, he went away just as a would ha\ c done He means to act like a lmaidei, and, guiltiness me, he'- welcome to it he i-n"t 'Juidl; to act like a husband ' The haul, -elti-h Oh, oh, I love him ' " "An.r.sT ."), 157"2. -It i- no u-c ; I'll never be a happy woman. Tieinont habeen in -o iegulail\ to dinnei lifi-U, and show ii me -ueh a kind rice, 1 ! hoii^h! I would \ t nt ii t e upon a lit t hi tainili nil \ . It wa- only to lay my hand upon hi- aim. but it made. him\ei} ;ui<_ri y, and I thtjii _;Jtt he would -ti ike me. Am I then actually h iteful to him? or is he so proud he cannot beir the thought of my having the light to touch him : I locked m the yla— w 'ien he went out. lam plain and hom^-rrin, th it - a fact. Even m\ led cheek- aie gone, and the dimples w lueh once took hi- tanry. 1 shall ne\er la) the tip of a linger on him again." 'TuJKruiY 13. 1573. — What I cook tor him todij .' Something th it he likus. It it my only pica- no to -eL how he doe-> enjoy m\ me.'l-. 1 t-lunl I thm'v iht_y would choke him ; they do me -ometime-. But men aic made of iron — ambition- men, anyhow. Little they care what >uileiing they cause, so long as they have a good time and get all the praises tiny want. He gets them more and more every day. He will soon be as far above me a- if I had married the President himself. Oh, ,-ometimes when I think of it, and remember he i 3 my own husband, I just feel as it some awful fate was preparing for him or me !"' "June 7, 1573.— Would he txjnd forme if he was dying ? Xo. He hate- me ; he hates me." "September S, IS7-A. — Craik was here to-day ; he is just going Koith to earn a few dollars in the logging business. What a keen eye he has for a boy of hi.s years ' I shouldn't wonder if he made a powerful smart man some day. If lie's only good, too, and kind to his women folks, I sha'n't mind. But a smart man who is all for himself is an awful trial to those who love him. Don't I know? Haven't I -uflercd ? Craik must never be like him," "December 21, 1575. — One thou-and dollars. That's a nice little -urn to have put away in the bank. So much I get out of my husband's fame, anyhow. I think I ■will make my will, for I want Craik to \\\vg what I leave. He.- :i fine lad '' "Fnr.uruiY 1!). IS7O —I was thinking the othei day, suppose 1 did die suddenly. It would be dieadful to ha\ c the name of Clemmcns put on my tombstone ' But it would be. Tremont would never let the truth be known, if lie had to lifle my dead body for my maniage ceitih'cate, What shall 1 do, then ? Tell anybody who I am? It -cens just as if I couldn't. Either the v hole world mu-t know it, or just him-elf and me alone. Oh, I wi-h I had nevu been bom '" "Jlm. 17, IS7(J. Why wa-nt I mule hand-oiiie a'nl fine and nice .' Think where i would be if I \va- ' I'd be in that big hou-oof hi-, cntsejinir to all the criand folk- as g<j thcie. [ went to it last night. It was daik. as pitch in the .sticct-, and I went into the gate and all aiound the hou-o. I walked upju the pia// i too, and rubbed my ban is along- the window Icdtrcand up and down the door-; It's mighty nice, all of it, and thoie shan't be a squaic inch on that whole ground that my foot shan't go o\er. Iwi-h 1 could get inside the house once.'" "July, 1, 1876 — I ha\o done it. I went to see Mr Orcuft's si-toi. 1 had a light. Isn't he away, and i-n't he my boaidei, and didn't I want to know when ho w.'is coining home? She's a '-oft, tfood-n.itun-d piece, and let me peek into the library without saying a word. What a loom it is ' I just felt like I'd been .shuck when I «aw it and spied his chair .setting theie, and all tho«e books heaped around, and the line things on the mantel-shelf, and the pictures on the walls. What would Ido in such a place as that? I could keep it clean, but so could any gal he might hiie. Oh, me ! Oh, mo ! I wish he'd given me a chance. Perhaps if he had loved me I might have learned to be quiet and nice like that silly sister of his." "January 12, 1577. — Some women would take a heap of delight in having folks know they were the wife of a great man, but I find lots of pleasure in being so without folks knowing it. If I lived in his big house and was called Mrs Oicutt, why, he would have nothing to be afraid of and might do as he pleased ; but now he has* to do what / please Sometimes, when I .sit down of an evening in my little sittingroom to sew, I think how this famous man whom everybody is afraid of has to come and go just as humble me wants him to; and it makes me hug myself with pride. It's as if I had a .shing tied round his little finger, which I can pull now and then. I don't pull it much ; but Ido some- , times."

"March 30, 1577. — GouvorneurHildreth is dead. I shall never be his victim, at any rate. Shall I ever bo tho victim of anybody ? I don't fool as if I cared now. For one kiss I would soil my lifo and dio happy. " Thero is a young Giouverneur, but it will be years before he will be old enough to mako me afraid of him." i "Novemiier IG, IS7S.—I should think that Trcmont would be lonely in that big house of his. If he had a heart ho would. They say he reads all tho time. How can folks poro so over books ? I can't. I'd rather sit in my chair and think. What story in all tho books is equal to mine ?' "Apiul 23, 1879.—1 am growing very settled in my ways. Now that Tremont comes in almost every day, I'm satisfied not to see an y other company, My house affairs keep me busy too. I like to have it all nice for him. 1 believe I could almost be happy if he'd only Mnilo once in a whiles hen he meets my eye. But he never does Oh, w ell, w e all have our crosses, and he'b a very great man.'' ",l\\r\itY 18, 1880.— He went to a ball la^t night. What docs it mean? He never seemed to c.v c tor t lungs like that. Ii there any girl lie is after.'" "Fi.r.nrutY (5, 1880.—Oh, ho has been riding with a lady, has he? It was. in the next town, and he thought I wouldn't hear. But there's little ho doe* that 1 don't know about ; let him make himself sure of that. I e\en know her name ; it i.s Selma Pratt. If lie goes with her again, look out tor a disturbance. I'll not island his making love to another woman." " M u '2(5, 1880. -My maniamM'orlificato is missing. Can it be that Tiemont has taken it .' I have looked all through tho de^k where I h.i\c kept it tor so many year-, but 1 cannot (md it. He was lelt alone in the hou-e a feu minute" the other da) ; could he h,i\e t iken tho chance to rob me ot the only pi oof 1 ha\e that we are man and wife' It he has lie is a\illain at heait, and is capable of doing an} thing, c\ en of m n i \ inir this Piatt erli 1 w ho he hu\ taken i i(lm«_r again. The woist i« that 1 dare nor accu-e him ot haxingmy ceitilicate ; toi it he didn't, take it and should tind out it is he'd throw me off just as quick .us if he had. What shall ido then .' Something lie shall mar many another w oman w hile 1 li\e."

" M u- .SO, 18S8.— The Pratt girl is gone. If he Laied for her it was only for a week, like 'in old lo\i 1 could mention. I think 1 reels-ate auaiu, onl^ 1 am rominoed some one outrht t') know ny ~ectet, besides m\ self. Shall it bo Kmil^ ' iNo. I'd latha tell h'Ji mothei." ".li si 9, KSSO.--1 am quint; to L't i< a. I shall take these lettei- \wtli me. Per haps 1 shall le i\e them. Foi the last time, then, kt me-av '1 am the lawful wite of Tioiinui!, Hi n | imin Otcutr, the l.iw^cr ulio Im- in Sil)ley, IScw We wcic muii«'(l mS»\an-.<n. Xc\ \iln. on the .'iidot 1 ilv,, IS' 17, I>\ .l tid\ clinic liiinistci, n.Lined ( !l.oi u<- hindaii. "Al \k\ Ann Oi:ci tt, Siblcy, N.V."