Lessons in Cooking.

Te Aroha News, Volume II, Issue 65, 30 August 1884, Page 5

Lessons in Cooking.

A young married couple were before Justice Smith, at Essex Market, a few days ago, the former to answer for threatening to abandon his wife. "Young man," said the magistrate sternly, "why do you wish to abandon your wife?" "Because of her cooking," he answered. "Her tea, coffee, and soup, taste like dishwater, and the meat and vegetables are only half done. Judge, what would you do if you had a wife who couldn't cook ? " Ci Judge," said the wife, her eyes flashing indignantly, "I'd like to see a woman of my age beat me in cooking a beefsteak. The trouble with my husband is that he is not used to my cooking. His mother is one of those old-fashioned cooks." " That's just it," ejaculated the husband, " and that is the reason I wanted you to take cooking lessons from her." " What do you take me for, anyway ?" said the angry wife. "I think that my mother is as smart as yours, and I learned from her." " She taught you to make tea and coffee very nicely," sneered the husband. " She did, and if you come to my house, Judge, I'll give you the nicest cup of coffee you ever tasted in your life. Oh ! you won't come. Then let me fetch you a cup to-morrow." " I never drink coffee," said the Justice. " Then let me tell you why the coffee is so weak. He has a schedule of how much and what I should buy during the week. I'm allowed half a pound of coffee a week. Think of it, Judge. Half a pound and two cups each a day. Do you wonder now why it's weak ?" The magistrate smiled and severely lectured tho husband, after which the couple left the court-room.

" Why didn't Igo to her assistance?" said the man who had laid in bed while his wife settled a burglar. " Young man, I've had a number of tussles with the old woman ? and I knew that burglar had trouble enough, without my giving him any,"