Etiquette in Chicago.

Te Aroha News, Volume 1, Issue 47, 26 April 1884, Page 5

Etiquette in Chicago.

'• X thi.s an editor ?" Tlic hoi -c reporter looked up from a little idyl on the life and career of Rysdyk\s llnmbletonian into which he had been putting the be^t efiort^ of his surging brain and beheld a rather short j r oung man who \\ ;h peering in an aflable but somewhat ine>olute manner over a very high collar, on who>e upper lip was a delicate tracery w Inch looked a^ if it might have boencll'ected w ith some ±\ r o. 2 molasses, and at w Inch the young man \\a> making furtive gra^p-s with tlie thumb and forefinger of his right hand, evidently under the impression that he had a moustache and desired to pull it. " I want to see an editor," said the young man in a voice that sounded like the best cHoi t>s ot a ciicket, "about a social topic — I w ant to see the social topics editor." " What soit of a social topic is it that's uoirying you ?" inquired the biographer of St. J ulien. ' ' There ai o a good many social topics. Has somebody in your social circle been holding three aces with criminal frequency, or has the green eyed monster invaded your once happy flat because your w ife goes to the matinee '!" "Oh, it's nothing like that," said the young man. "I promised papa that I would never play poker, and I'm not married — that is, not yet." " Well, thegentle sex is having one lucky winter, any how," said the horse reporter, surveying his visitor caiefully. "If you'll quit grabbing for that suppositions moustache, and tell me what ails you, perhaps I can settle the point. What's the social topic you are distressed about ?" " Well, you see," said the young man, ' ' when I got into the laces — " "Into the what?" " Into the laces — the lace department in onvstore, you knowalltheother fellows there were real jealous of me because 1 had been out more in society than they had. I belong to three clubs on the West Side, and we have hops, and assemblies, and things every week ; so I'm really quite in the swim, you know . Well, they were awfully jealous, you know — just as I said— and they talked real mean. I told Cholly about it— Cholly's my chum, you know — and he said to never mind them, but keep going right into society ; and he lent me his mauve pants for an awfully swell reception one night last week. Cholly and I areawful chums, andl'm going to give him a book-mark on his birthday. That will be nice, won't it ?" " Yea,'' said the horse reporter, "a bookmark is a valuable aid to any young man who is hustling around to get a living, With a strong arm, pure heart, and a nice book-mark, fortune is within the reach of all. But what's the question that's worrying you ?" "Oh, yes, the social topic. Well, the other day a lot of us were talking about young ladies, and I said that very feAv young men knew what real otiquette was, and \ gave an awfully severe look at one fellow who has been terribly jealous of me ever since a young lady who came into the store the other day smiled right ovei m the direction where I was standing, and never even looked at him. And then some one said it was proper to call on a young lady and ask her to accompany you to the theatre that evening. I said that would be wrong — that the correct way was to write the lady a note asking the pleasure of her company. We hadaterrible discussion about it, and finally agreed to leave it to the social topics editor of the "Tribune." Now,supposingyouwere a young lady, and I were to call at your papa's house, and ask you to go to the theatre with me that evening, what would you do ?" "Suppose I were a young lady?" said the horse reporter. "Yes." " And you were to call and ask mo to go to the theatre with you ?" "Yes." " What would I do ?" " Yes." 1 " Well, if somebody, b.ad mislaid the gun I suppose I should , have . to content myself > with a club.?'—' \ Qhyjagb > Tribune. ' , niy