ODDS AND ENDS.

Te Aroha News, Volume I, Issue 34, 26 January 1884, Page 6

ODDS AND ENDS.

The Governor is visiting the Otago Lake district. " Keep oft' the grass " is a corporation way of interdicting a certain class of duelling ; it forbids the public to cross swards. The world consumes 2,000,000 tons of tobacco a year. Not by Dr Wilkins. — To cure deafness in a man, begin to whisper to him about a chance to make his fortune. Step on a woman's trail and she has a claim for damages. Pier redress is a new dress. " Tauranga talks of war, boys. " It propovses to send a cricket team to Auckland. Typhoid fever attacks about 20,000 persons yearly in Victoria. The disease, though preventive, is greatly on the increase. The recent wet weather has converted the cricket ground at Dunedin into a swamp, and practice for the approaching match with Tasmania is impossible. Banks in Japan charge from 35 to 55 per cent, interest. The 255 banks in the country in 1881 declared dividends representing 13 per cent, on the capital. One of the Yorkshire newspapers gives an account of an examination in which a boy, on being asked to name one of the minerals of Australia, promptly replied, "Tinned mutton." Joseph Cook hopes the day will come when " we will have only one postage stamp for the whole world." Does Joseph wish to get hold of that stamp, and make a fortune by selling it ? The British Government proposes to spend £100,000 on defensive works at Aden. Old Mrs B. came to town on New Year's Day from the Waikato on an excursion, and when she was asked why she was in such a hurry to leave she replied, " I've got to ; j you see as how I came in on an exertion train and my ticket perspires to-night." An uneducated man, reading a dictionary, was asked his opinion of the matter, and replied, "The stories are good, but rather short.*' As brevity is the soul of wit, it will not surprise people to find, a flash of genuine humour in Webster's dictionary. In that work, "wicket-keeper" is described as h the player in cricket who stands with a bat to protect th,e wicket from the ball.", Mr Joseph BrarfchwaWe, Dunedin, has resigned his position as Vice-, president of the Freethought Association. The Governor writes that he cannot be present at the Bay of Islands Regatta next month, but that he will visit the District in -March, ; '

Forced Politeness — Bowing to necessity. The Free Methodists agree to the proposed union, It's tho convicted murderer who objects to any swinging signs. Miss Pomeroy prophesies that Auckland is to produce "a second Adelaide Killson." Society in Christclmrch has collapsed. No revolution, as "Society" is only a newspaper. Sarah Bernhardt's nightly receipts, it is said, amount to i'soo. The Governor is expected in Auckland next month. Have you scon the comet ? The register of medical practitioners and dentists is gazetted. One of the greatest wonders in the world is what becomes of all the smart children. There are two coloured women lawyers in the United States— Mary A. S. Cary, of Michigan, and Louise Y. Bryant, of Colorado. First tenders for Auckland tramways are now being called. ■Rev. Dr. Beggs last sermon was from the text, "It is appointed unto men once to die." The latest bulletin about the Maori King is to the effect that the old gentleman is "drunk again." Hebrew classes proposed in Auckland University. Roll up, Anglo-Israelites,with your "strange speech and. stammering tongue," and add a link to the " identity." Wanganui Regatta is fixed for oth March next, the day before the local Autumn Races. Musical Problem — If a man blows his own trumpet can his opinions be sound ? Who pays the highest price for a home ? The woman who marries for one. Whatiwhatihoe natives are " hard-up," as their potato crop is a failure, and they are anxiously awaiting work at road-making. Next year will be the hundredth anniversary of Dr. Samuel Johnson's birth. The recent great fire in London caused L 35.000 damage ; covered by insurance. Ruskin asks. — What is there more beautiful than the word wife ? The wife herself. The Japanese mean to enter upon the manufacture- of woollen articles on an exten.sivo scale. Iko Tokudo, who acted as commissioner at the Melbourne Exhibition, has been trying to initiate a nool trade between Victoria and Japan. The Rev. Stephen Gladstone draws a larger stipend — more than L 7,000 -from his lectory of Hawarden than his father receive-? as Prime Minister. But then he can't have so much fun as the G.O.M. Noah's Ark was, it is computed, as long as St. Paul's Cathedral, London, nearly as broad, and half as high. Its tonnage is estimated at from 12.000 to 42,413 tons. The Great Eastern is o;") feet longer than the Ark was. Good timber would seem to be like those good men, the prophets, destitute of honour in its own country. Certain it is wholesale destruction of kauri timber is going on in New Zealand, while elsewhere its value is gaining enthusiastic recognition. Noticing Mr Mason's kauri pino depOt at Sydney, the " Bulletin" of a recent issue had the following :—"ln: — "In the North Island of New Zealand there are great forests of this kauri pine, each tree of which is valued at 1300 (xic),sa that the wealth of the colony in this respect alone must be fabulous. New Zealand pioneers recognised the value of the kauri pine, not only for building, but for decorative purposes, hence whole towns are found built of the material, and immense quantities are absorbed for every description of furniture." The Mayor of Birmingham, Alderman White, and the Mayoress, for forty-seven years teatotallers, were, on Thuisday week, at a special lodge session, made members of the Good Templar Order, the principles of which are life-long personal abstinence from using or giving intoxicating liquors, and the total prohibition of the manufacture or sale of all intoxicants. Professional charges are more or less elastic, and occasionally they are rather " long drawn out," and liable to corrective " taxation ;" but an attempt to reduce legal charges lately made in the R.M. Court at Hamilton has ended disastrously. Mr Gresham, solicitor. Te Awamutu, had last year acted as counsel for Mr Gaudin in an action in which the latter was sued for £45 10s, and had succeeded in getting the claim reduced to £8. For these services, which occupied three days' attendance at Hamilton, Mr Gresham charged £7 Is 4d, which he had to sue for before he got payment. The bill did not include charges for travelling and hotel expenses, as Mr Gaudin had provided these ; and the latter, thinking he was entitled to a deduction on that account, brought an action the other day against Mr Gresham to recover £2 8s 6d, paid by him for buggy hire and hotel accommodation. The Court held, however, that the charge was fair, and gave judgment againstMr Gaudin, with £1 14s 4d costs. Taranaki folks are lively customers, if we are to judge by a report which appears in the local "Herald of a meeting of creditors in the estate of A. Boswell, held at New Plymouth. A Mr Cock said that Mr McLauchlan told him that he was in partnership with the debtor, whereupon Mr McLauchlan interjected : " I beg to contradict you, and to say that it is a deliberate lie." Thereupon the following pleasant interchange took place :— Mr Cock repeated that Mr McLauchlan had told him he was a partner, and now he was trying to back out of it. Mr McLauchlan : "Itis a lie." Mr Cock : " You areathoroughold blackguard." Mr McLaughlan : "If you give any of your cheek I will pull your nose, and throw you downstairs. You area lying ' cuss.' " The Chairman called Mr McLauchlan to order, and said lie would leave the chair if Mr McLauchlan did not behave himself. Mr McLauchlan: "You can go home if you like. I don't care." A great fire has broken out on the premises of Messrs Silver & Co., the wellknown colonial outfitters, No. 07, Cornhill, and is reported to be rapidly increasing. Next door to Messrs Silver & Co., but separated by the Sun Court, are the offices of the New Zealand Insurance Company. Cornhill itself is not a wide thoroughfare, and the courts and lanes leading out of it are among the narrowest in- the city ; hence there is danger that the present conflagration may be a very serious one. Captain Ross, of the schooner Saxon, which arrived on Sunday, informs us that the natives of Tonga are greatly incensed at the. action of the captain of a German brig called the Gena, in which they believe a number of their companions have been carried away contrary to agreement. It appears that about two months ago the vessel arrived at Tonga short-handed, and shipped several natives to work her as far as Samoa, where it was expected a crew could be picked up to work the vessel on the home voyage. The brig, however, never put in an appearance at Samoa, and it is concluded that, unless she has been lost, she has made the Tongan natives unwilling prisoners for a trip to Germany, whither she was bound. The, Bay of Islands Coal Company announce a reduction of ten per cent, on all their employe's salaries after, the 2nd of February. This does not affeot the miners on piecework. Manchester is enabled to make oity im* proveraents costing nearly L 50,000 per year put of profits of the its gasworks, . „ .