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Te Aroha News, Volume I, Issue 12, 25 August 1883, Page 4

hfs business, so Mr Pompous did not like to press him too much. One evening Mr Howie inquired of Mr Pompous if he had not boon contemplating paying- a visit to his const! tuonta. ' Certainly. That is, if I can do so in comparative safety,' said the protected mombei, delighted at the prospect of appearing at Muddington with his escort. ' Well, sir, I think it might be managed during 1 the next few days/ returned Inspector Rowle cautiously. ' Of course, my men must go with you.' 'Oh ? of course. I'm quite in your hands, Inspector,' returned Mr Pompous. ' Would it suit you to start, say, tomorrow evening, sir ?' inquired the Inspector. ' Yes. I suppose you will arrange about trains and so on,' said Mr Pompous. ' Yes, sir. I w\;s thinking I—what1 — what line do you usually travel by, sir V ' The South- Western, from Waterloo.' 1 Well, sir, I think we had better say the Great Western, from Paddington, tills time,' returned the Inspector. ' Quite so — yes ; a very proper precaution.' said Mr Pompous. k 1 suppose,' he added, hesitatingly, ' there is no chance of the train being thrown off the line, eh ? Every precaution will be taken, of course ?' ' Yes, sir, you may rely upon that,' replied the detective, drily. ' 1 will see about the trains, sir, and let you know the hour.' Mr Pompous looked forward to his expedition with pleasurable anticipation. In a quiet place like Mu.ldington there could be no real dangei of assassination, (.-specially if he wore accompanied by an escort. IF' 1 was a little nmous about the journey, but this unpleasant aspect laded an ay when be thought of the sensation his arrival under such circumstances would cause among his constituents. It would be impossihlo to conceal from them that he was under police =nneillance, oml, in fact, Mr Ponipoas resolved to take his leading constituents into his eonfrlenc? at all hazaids, for the sake >>!* the moral effect, lie reheat sed a speech which should contain covcit, thougu telling, allusions to his being- the object of an assignation plot, and confidently relied upon creating the gioate^t enthusiasm and excitement. His f,*ars came uj permost, however, when he started on the journey, especially a 5 * Inspector Llowle \\ is more mysterious than e\er. and begged to be allowed to take his scut in i\\e carriage with him. Mr Pompous was not a little startled at this reque-l, which he readily complied with, as it seemed evident that special danger was appichended. Darin $ t'to diive to the station, Mi JJowle peered constant \y on> of tlio window in a ve<\ umlaut mamiei. and as they approached the ueig'.bpu - hood of Paddington, ho said 1< ! < j ml\ to Mr Pompous : ' Will you knuiy oblige me by leaning well forward now, sir?' Mr Pompous, bein£ startled, meebnuically did so, when it suddenly occurred to him that his features nuht he distinctly visible, owing to a glare of light which they were ju^t passing. lie therefore hastily fell back into the recesses of the carriage, exclaiming, — 'Good gracious, man! Why, 1 shall be recognised !' ' No, you won't, sir. Will k>" kindly lean forward again now, «ir,' he added, with some excitement. ' Certainly not. Why it would be suicidal !' cried Mr Pompous, indignantly. ' For heaven's sake, st. do as I ask you !' exclaimed the detective, with suppressed excitement. '10 ver> thing may be lost by your hi ling yoursell.' 'Are you mad V roared jlr Po npous. ( No, sir. Perhaps I ought to explain,' said Inspector Howie, hurriedly. ' The fact is you were never in the slightest danger yourself — at least, you would not have been if your name had been known to certain parties. rr J 11 ] ie h-uth is yon have been mistaken for the Jiiyhl Honourable Mr Blank,' he added, naming a prominent member of the Cabinet, ' Is — is that the reason I have been guarded V inquired Mr Pompous, taken aback. ' Yes, sir. When we found out the mistake, we did our be-l to keep up the delusion, and I venture to think we've been tolerably succe-.^ful,' .said the detective, in a complacent, tone. ' Why did you keep up t.ie deltiHon ?' demanded Mr Pompou-, with a sudden access of ras-e. ' Well, sir, Mr Blank meanwhile is pretty safe, and if an attempt .should be made ' 1 Do you mean to say you've been treating me like an animated target all this while to be shot at for somebody else V roared Sir Pompous, fiercely, as he realised the situation 4 For heaven's sake, sir, don't desert us now,' cried Inspector Rowle, justly alarmed by Mr Pompous' tone ' If you will help us we may have all the parties in five minutes. Lean forward now, sir, and let yourself be seen !' ' I shall not, sir,' screamed Mr Pompous, foaming- at the mouth. ' Why on earth should IV { The honourable Mr Blank is going down to Windsor, and I've received certain information that an attack will be made upon him as he steps from his carriage at the station. We shall arrive there first ' ' And you expect me to act as a decoy duck ?' interrupted Mr Pompous, violently. ' I assure you, sir, there will he no danger,' cried the detectiuc, eagerly. ' At the first shot the assassin will be '

seized. For goodness' sake, show your face at the window, sir, go that the scouts may signal your approach.' Mr Pompous's only answer was a kind of gurgle which seemed to presage an apoplotie fit, and then he suddenly made a dash at the check-string and shouted wildly to the coachman — 'Hi stop ! Turn immediately and drive like the devil in the opposite direction. Drive to Hampstead, Highjgate, Whitoolmpel, anywhere!' The order to stop was piesently obeyed, and the coachman, urged by his master's cries, drove off at a furious pace down the nearest side-tun i -g. Inspector Howie, being quite unable to prevail upon Mr Pompons to countermand his directions, opened the carriage door and jumped into the roadway, at the risk of his life. Mr Pompous, in a sort of paroxysm of feverish agitation and frenzy, persistently urged the coachman to continue straight on, until at length one of the horses fell i'rom sheer fatigue and exhaustion somewhere in the neighbourhood of New Barnet. Here Mr Pompous had to alight an i pa^s the night, but the next morning he started at daybreak for the coast, and it was subsequently announced that be had paired for the remainder of the session. He is now in the South of France, where he is slo.\ly recovering from the severe shock to his nerves which Inspector Howie's revolution caused ; but it is extremely doubtful whether the debates of the House will ever again bo enlivened by bis life-like imitations of domestic animals.