MIGHTIER THAN THE WHIP.

Taihape Daily Times, 10 April 1919, Page 5

MIGHTIER THAN THE WHIP.

STAR" DEALS WITH A PUGNACIOUS CRITIC.

MAN WHO WANTED TO THRASH THE PRESS.

In the early hours of Tuesday night the period when evening calm succeeds the pulsating activities of a nightly newspaper, an apparition armed with a business ajir and a huge stockwhip crossed the threshold of the "Star" office and raised a hullabaloo which startled the solitary clerk into falling off the office stool.

The- intruder, a hefty individual approaching m'ddle-age, was apparently seeking primitive retribution, for his advent, which was like unto the burstng of a gas shell, was signalled by a vigorous cracking of the whip and the shouting of his genial intention to murder all within the precincts of the building. He was temporarily taken aback by the devotional quiet which brooded over the lower office, but, espying the aforementioned: clerk taking cover behind the glass screen, he uttered a dramatic "aha!" and made what the gentleman in question feelingly described as "a bulldog "rush" for him.

Our representative, having had the

training in the science of hostilities which -has qualified him for the leturned' soldiers' badge, deemed "it expedient to get in first, and nipped round the counter to extend. 10 the whip-holder a hearty welcome on behalf of the establishment. The pair affectionately embraced in the alleyway, the champion of the p?.n benig lucky enough to snatch a stranglehold in the first clutch. A brave ioust ensued 't\\\xt "the accuser and the accused," to employ the ShaTtespearan language and the combatants turkeytrotted round the office for full/ five m'rutes in the earnest endeavour to claim the final mastery. But from the start the "Star" had got the wood on it... adversary and finally, breathing f.lertorov*.';■•. the intruder laosed i'-'tc a state o.' quiescence, .iust as the boxing editor and Director of Poetical Endeavour appeared on tlie scene, too late for their professional services to be requisitioned. Uncertain as to the motive animating the intruder, the staff co i"t-tou.-Ay inquired whether he had ?i".t the "Stai " office for .;On?e other place, but the intruder empaailcally declared that he had his full bearings and (hat he desired to see ca'tgorically:—(l) l.be manage?, (2 1 the eutor, (3) the printer's devil, and (4.) such other mem' crs of the st-if£ wi-0 eared to t h

.' his gei;»n'. ocqusiilanee and wculd submit to being flayed alivf\ By -way of a caid o£ introduction ae firmed informatively lie had purchased a brand

u«w whip. The gentleman was ultimately persuaded that his request was quite unreasonable in view of the fact that the forthcoming poll will require the full services of the staff, and, with the magnanimity which the British Empire shows to a ibeaten foe, the staff conducted him to the door in preference to referring him to the police station., The formidable weapon relinquished by the Press critic was retained as a" trophy of the event and adorns the editorial wall as a reminder to callers that the pen is mightier than the whip.—" Auckland Star;'