THE KAISER'S DREAM.

Taihape Daily Times, 31 January 1918, Page 3

THE KAISER'S DREAM.

There's a story now current, though strange it may seem, Of the great Kaiser Bill and a wonderful dream. Being tired of the Allies, he lay down in bed, And amongst other things, dreamt he was dead, And in a fine coffin he was lying m State With a guard of brave Belgians, wno mourned for his fate. He wasn't long dead when he found to his cost, That his soul, like his soldiers, would dashed soon be lost. On leaving this earth to Heaven he went straight; Arriving up there he knocked at the Gate. But St. Peter looked out and with voice loud and clear, Said, begone, Kaiser Bill, we don't want you here! Well, said the Kaiser, that's rather uncivil; I suppose after that I may go to the Divil. > So he turned on his heel and away he did go At the top of his speed for the regions below But when he got there he was filled with dismay, For while waiting outside he heard "Old Nick" say To his imps: "Now look here boys, I'll

give you a warning, I'm expecting Kaiser Bill down here

this morning; But don't let him in, ,for to me it's quite clear

He's a very bad man, and we don't want him here. If once he gets in, there'll be no end of quarrels, In fact I'm afriad he'll corrupt our good; morals." "Oh Satan, dear friend," the Kaiser them, -cried, "Excuse me for listening while waiting outside; If you .don't admit me, say where can I go?", . "Indeed," said the Devil, "I really don't know." "Oh, let me in," said the Kaiser, "I'm

feeling quite cold, And if you want money, I've plenty of gold,; Let me get in a corner, no matter how hot/' P . ■•■ i, "No, no,i" said the Devil, "most certainly not. We don't admit folks here for riches and pelf; Here's sulphur and matches; make a Hell for yourself." Then he, kicked Wilhelm out and he vanished, in smoke, And just at that moment the Kaiser awoke. He juffiped out of bed in a shivering sweat I '' And said, "Well, that's a dream I'll never forget; That I won't go to Heaven I know only' too well; But it's really too bad to be kicked "out <■■. of j, Hell!" >' t