“HOWLERS.”

Taihape Daily Times, Issue 220, 23 March 1917, Page 2

“HOWLERS.”

THE UNCONSCIOUS HUMOUE OF THE SCHOOLBOY. The new issue of the “University Correspondent ’ ’ again contains an amusing collection of schoolboy “howlers.” Among them are the following: The attempts at colonisation in Elizabeth’s reign were that Ealeigh brough smoking into England and had a bucket of cold water thrown on him, and Drake discovered potatoes round the world and planted them in Lancashire. Henry the First’s son William was drowned in the White Ship and never smiled again. Lambert Simnel was defeated at Stoke and sent to roast in the King’s kitchen. The Pope called Henry VIII “Tido the Offensive.” Joan -of Arc lived in the French and one day she fell into the arms of the English and got burnt Ch'ildo Harold was defeated by William the Conqueror at the Battle *of Hastings. By eating slowly, food is digested before it is swallowed, and thus enriches the blood, which goes down one leg and up the other. Things which are impossible are equal to one another. The present Primate of England is Mr Lloyd George. Poetry is a thing you make prose out of. The laws are made by Lloyd George on else by the Policeman.