BRITISH OFFICER’S LANDLADY.

Taihape Daily Times, Issue 219, 6 November 1916, Page 2

BRITISH OFFICER’S LANDLADY.

A “HOLY OLD TERROR.” One of the most amusing wan stories letters received from an English offiletters received from an Engl h'isofficer “ somewhere in France,” wdio is billeted in an ancient dame's house situated not far behind the firing line. In his first letter, concerning his experiences he says:i — “There is a terrible old womaan in ■his billet who unfortunately some time ago got a shell in her house which blew die front wall in, and while she was looking for a new house some soldiers passing by seeing the hole, walked in, and, I regret to say, made themselves very comfortable without first asking permission. “Since then their Sins have been visited upon my head. The old lady has told me the story at least half a dozen times, and is as suspicious as she can be. She’s sitting in the room now, telling me all her woes. “She’s not supposed to enter the Ton! occupied by us, but I haven 't the •uurage 'to tell her to clear out. I saw her hit a big French policeman over the head with an umbrella" this afternoon because ho made her open the cellar door during the bombardment.” A later letter carries the story further:— “The old woman is still here, and is a most terrible nuisance. She has taken a strong fancy to me, and nearly kissed me when I came down from the' trenches yesterday. I think I am the only one of her lodgers who has not called the police to her. “She brings me puddings and things, '■vnd stands talking for. hours in incom■xehcnsible French. If she only know how I disliked her; but I am too frightnod to show it. She also sits up every ■■'gut till I come in. so I daren’t be out g'te. because one doesn’t’ like to keep 'u old women of eighty-seven waiting up for you; so I’ve given up cards, and I can’t dine too well, or she wonlud probable thrash me when I came homo and then drag me to confession afterwards. ‘ ‘She is a holy old terror, and I’d rather be in the trenches. “The other day, to got rid of her, I g-'elondod to be !U, and went and lay down; but I’m hanged if every halfhour she didn’t come up with cups of camomile tea or gome such horrible mixture, and stand talking until I’d drunk every drop I'd have got up the nerft morning if I’d been dying.”