STORIES OF THE WAR.

Taihape Daily Times, Volume 7, Issue 319, 1 November 1915, Page 7

STORIES OF THE WAR.

AMUSING ANECDOTES TOLD BY WELL-KNOWN PEOPLE. MDLLE. GABY DESLYS (the French Actress). A funny story of the war. "Ah, non —pour sur —I laugh on the stage—yrs —must. C'est .necessaire; but I tell you —en secret —I most often do cry. I know so many fine fellows who tve dead; but sometimes I smile.

"Look! Here is a letter from un <»° ces cjaers Tommies. He »ny he bas meet a nice French girl in Boulogne and want to marry. C'est serieux. And he send me her love letter to show-* how much they love, and he say, 'Will you take her in your companjy till war is over, dear Gaby?' Ma foi, it make me so laugh I nearly write and say 'Yes.' Then I get another letter from a little boy of six to say if I go out to tea wit'a him he will steal his sister's

Teddy Bear for me. "But, no, I cannot tell funny war

stories. I could tell you serious ones, and make London weep with stories, but—all—well, Mon Dieu, Londres ne connait que Gaby qui rit (London only knows the Gaby that laughs) mais il y a une Gaby qui pleure aussi (there is a Gaby that cries as well)." MR ROBERT HALE (Actor). The Other day, in m|y dressing room, two officers, back from, the front, each with only one arm —tjhe left —arranged a match at tennis together. There was quite a crowd to witness it —mcstlywounded —and I never heard such laughter. All the same the tears very nearly came down my cheeks, but it's. Tommy's laughter that holds the trenches. MISS VIOLET LORAINE (Actress) There were three soldiers playing cards in the trenches—a Cockney, a Scotsman, and a Jew. "I'll go three," said the Cockney, looking at his hand. "Four," said the Scot. "I'll go (Nap," said the Jew, but just as he had said it he was killed by a shell. "Eh, mon, that was a lucky escape," said the Scotsman as the dead man's cards fe'l to the ground. "We'd 'a lost five bob on that he'd got the hand all right." MR JOSEPH COY.NE (Actor) A special constable was on duty t&e" \ other day in Leicester Square. Oppo- j site the Empire he saw an old gentleman/prostrate in the gutter. "I'm only waiting," the ..old. gentleman told. him. Every twenty minutes, as he passed, he got the same answer. Finally the "special" said'to him: "But what are you waiting for?"

"Waiting for t|he war to end, old man," was the'spirited reply. MR MORRIS HARVEY (actor). A friend of mine had just been appointed musketry instructor and was taking some recruits in target practice. One man fired live rounds and got all his shots close together, but too high on the target. "That's very good," said my friend, "but you are too high." The recruit fired another five rounds and again got them together, but this' time too low. "Now," asked my friend, "how do you account for that?" The Tommy scratched his head far a moment and then replied, "Someone must have moved the bloomin' target up."