FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume IV, Issue 1066, 2 September 1930, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By

“THE LOOK-OUT MAN."

JANES TO A. UEN A lieu on a poultry yard in the Rangitikei district has laid an egg worthy of an ostrich. Oh, Orpington, they deem you Well meet to rank above The cassowary, emu. And cooing turtle dove. Your rank is with the oslrich. Which calmly swallows nails. As easily as we swallow These poultry-fanciers' tales. The man who whips the rivers. The fisherman, forsooth. Invents, and never quivers, Perversions of the truth. But poultry-men surpass him. Their tales of mammoth eggs Suggest that they are artists At pulling people’s legs. Imaginative jokers. They prattle gaily on Of monster double-yolkers— Another record gone!— Until at length a conscience, Long dormant, murmurs, “Whoa"; And hence we’ve had no ovoid Yet worthy of a moa. STOLEN GEMS News that thieves at Leatherhead, England, took advantage of a window left open through the heat, and thereby got away with £17,000 worth of jewellery belonging to the daughter of Sir John Hulton, will suggest to readers of Mr. Edgar Wallace the possibility that the criminals may have created the heat wave to facilitate their plan. In these days of scientific crime, anything is possible, and the miscreants now dodging in and out of houses at Remuera would find their work much easier if they could arrange a special heat wave, causing windows to be left open night and day. Yet when people leave their windows open, they need not necessarily leave their jewels in an accessible position. The sad case of Miss Betty Hulton suggests that it’s not so much the heat as the stupidity. THE FIRST OAK On the authority of a man who walks through Albert Park six days out of seven, the whole year round, the Look-out Man is informed that the first oak of the season is now budding verdantly on the slope above Victoria Street. “This tree,” exclaims the oracle, “is the first every year to break into leaf.” He explains this curious fact by the sheltered position of the tree, and adds that oaks, as a general principle, hud later in Auckland than elsewhere. In such a mild and generally equable temperature this seems totally unreasonable, and the confirmation of a more accredited ecologist would relieve one’s natural scepticism. Not that we challenge the sincerity of our informant. He bears a good Irish name and would not willingly suspect even an oak tree of reluctance in the wearing of the green. MODEST WRESTLER Mr. Walter Logan appears to he a singularly modest sort of wrestler. He Is content to allow himself to be known as “The Texas Terrier,” a name which, by comparison with those borne by other members of the same amiable profession, fails to impress us. We have had “The Polish Pachyderm,” “The Nebraska Tiger” and “The Canadian Panther,” all of which strike terror inLo the lay breast. Even though there is no zoological flavour in the name of “The Terrible Turk,” it has a ferocious and implacable ring about it. The name “Texas Terrier” pictures Mr. Logan as merely a dilettante of his art. It is time he changed it. He could call himself “The Texas Tiger” or “The Texas Thunderbolt,” or, if these alliterative examples do not appeal to him, he could change his allegiance to another of the United States. After all, there are 4S to choose from. THE BRUTE CREATION The task of devising a name for himself must be one of the prime difficulties of a wrestler’s apprenticeship. To announce the gladiator as plain Walter Logan, of Austin, Tex., would betray ignorance of the sublime arts of showmanship, and, accordingly, the excellent fellow has to bear through life a name calculated to make the uninitiated shudder at this approach. Before making a final decision he probably cons over all the snappy alliteratives he can think of, and no doubt finds it as difficult wrestling with these figures of speech as with doughty opponents of the mat. At any rate, he finally arrives at “The Texas Terrier,” quite overlooking the fact that “Missouri Monster” and “Californian Cave-Man” both sound more exhilarating and forbidding. If It comes to that, some of these wrestlers who periodically entertain us might bring their allusions a little nearer home. A Grafton gorilla matched against a Freeman’s Bay leopard would add a lot of local interest to the contests.