On the Subject of “Cheques Appeal”

Sun (Auckland), Volume IV, Issue 1064, 30 August 1930, Page 18

On the Subject of “Cheques Appeal”

Women who Regard Husbands Merely as “Universal Providers” ... A Society Woman Enters a Protest . . . ■ OMEN underfed anti underworked. This it not the substance of a slumming report among the poor and unemployed. It does not refer to that section of the social order which has only the underdog’s chance at a normal, happy life. “A great change has occurred in the tipper levels of society within the last ten years,” declares Mrs, A. S. Vane, prominent Philadelphia society woman, "and man is no longer the centre of a woman's universe. "Woman’s conduct is dictated by what other women will think, not what men will expect of her. Man is no longer important as a husband, an escort or a companion. ‘These women look with indifference upon affairs, liaisons and other establishments maintained by their hus bands. It is only when the flow of money is threatened that any deep emotion is aroused. Why, a husband philandering doesn’t even arouse a healthy jealousy, because that natural human vitality that makes a woman eager for a romantic life has been enervated and dissipated in the feverish, empty excitement of woman's association with woman.

“If you are outside of society, you cannot realise how much women absorb each other’s energy and time. Out of 100 invitations which one may receive, ninety of them will be for daylight functions. “Luncheons and bridge and teas, teas and luncheons and bridge, in which women entertain each other, occupy the thought of the average woman in the social swim today. “Women dress for women or to impress them. They eat to please other women—for women have decreed the slender figure—and they starve themselves into thin, irritable, nervous, hipless wrecks just so other women will envy them their flat, slightly curving lines.

“A woman used to consult her husband in planning her social engagements. Now from early morning until late at night she uses her energy to please, attract and entertain her women friends.

’’ ‘I can’t drag my husband, but I’ll come myself,’ is a common phrase at any social gathering. Women are annoyed because their men don’t or won't play bridge, because they won’t go to highbrow problem plays, and so they make their own engagements and let a man drift somewhere on his own. That is why an increasing number of men attend boxing matches or wrestling bouts—by themselves. “Entertainment of the old-fashioned kind, in which a substantial, epicurean dinner was an important feature, has almost completely disappeared. Since women are on starvation diets they don’t eat, and they don’t care much tvhat their husbands eat. “I have spoken to women of the pleasure it is to spend an hour in the kitchen and make an apple pie that one's husband is delighted to praise and eat, but the modern society woman ridicules the idea. She hates the kitchen. She has no conception of the domestic arts.

“Man as man no longer attracts these women. They are worn out when he is ready for dinner and, when dining at home, often let him sit alone while they are ‘resting’ to prepare for some late engagement' at a party or dance. “If I brought a quartet of men into a room and three were handsome but known to be without wealth, and the fourth was a homely millionaire, the ugly duckling with the golden wings would be the centre of feminine attraction. "There are many outsiders who be-

lieve that present-day society is reeking with immorality. Such demoralisation may exist in certain fast sets, but not in the great body of society. Owing to the condition which I am describing, in which women’s interests centre upon themselves, there is actually less immorality today than there lias been at the peak of other great civilisations in history. “Women have simply lost interest in men except as providers. If you sit at luncheons and teas and bridge parties, you hear discussions of everything but men. “Men are still loyal, devoted and ready to pay for what is wanted. They look upon these antics with amused tolerance, but they no longer have the comfortable, happy, satisfactory home life which they need. Never was man’s loyalty to woman so poorly rewarded as it is today. “I do not mean that the women are unfaithful. They don’t have the vital energy, the romantic imagination which is required to light the flame of affairs of the heart. They have dieted themselves into emotional debility, and indifference is enough to kill any inclination of a male philanderer. “In studying the society women of today I find a surprising amount of irritability. And Ido not wonder at it. They are always hungry. It is an old saying that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. But the way to the modern woman’s unhappiness is also through her stomach, although she doesn’t realise it and doesn’t want to believe it. The Turks and other Orientals have the right idea. When a man has quarrelled with a woman he sends her a plate of sweetmeats before arriving to make his peace. “Sugar is necessary to human sweetness —scientists will affirm this fact—and the constant deprivation of sweets contributes considerably to the irritability of the modern woman. “She may be able to restrain her unsettled temper while gyrating through the round of daylight functions. She maintains a pleasant surface when fluttering around tables with ten, a hundred or a thousand other women, but when she relaxes after the daylight round her husband gets the full force of her irritability. And this bad temper is, I am convinced, a prime reason for the numerous separations and divorces which have become so frequent in high society. “One would think that the doctors would be able to do something with these women and have sufficient influence to cause a change in their mode of living. But they are interested only in those physicians who tell them what they want to know.

“If, as often happens, a woman who frets and is unbalanced and fundamentally unhappy visits the family physician, who examines her thoroughly and then says, ‘There is nothing fundamentally the matter with you,’ she takes no stock in what the doctor says and is ready to listen to her friend at tea or luncheon who advises her to try her doctor. “What I have been saying, of course, does not apply to the entire body of women in society. I am speaking only of the large set w t hich buzzes only with social activity. “When you consider the mental outlook of the women who are addicted to sports, you come to a healthier and more normal group. Golf, tennis, riding are pursuits which yield strenuous exercise and physical exertion. The healthy fatigue inspires a more natural life. Although they may be idlers and non-producers, there is little danger of athletic women falling into unnatural mental states and leading a one-sided life. “What is most appalling about the present situation is the women’s attitude toward the men. The attraction of men and women toward each other is a beautiful and natural attraction, but when women begin to lead lives which neutralise the masculine appeal and leave them self-sufficient, the natural order of life is upset and grave danger is ahead. “A man needs the companionship of his family. He is restless and disturbed without a feminine companion to ivhom he can relate his trials and troubles, his conquests and victories. This is an elemental human need; and no matter how intelligent people may become, the need of the sexes for each other cannot be eradicated. “Men are so generous and goodnatured that they have watched the loss of friendship and companionship without realising what has happened to this essential relationship. “You see them pushed into the background by wife and daughters, taking a tolerant and amused attitudo and watching, usually with pride, the departure of the women of the household into realms of fashions or business, not fully realising that the daparture of their womenfolk will take contentment out of their lives. In many cases the men are beginning to experience an emptiness and loneliness, but they cannot fathom why. “One can’t expect woman to occupy herself fully with a home in which most of the old occupations have disappeared, but there is no reason why the domestic art of cooking should be lost or why woman should console herself so completely with the society of woman. The old-fashioned marital partnership must come back to restore normal social life.”