FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume IV, Issue 1054, 19 August 1930, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By

“THE LOOK-OUT MAN."

THE WRONG BRIDE An American Jew chose, as a wife for his son, Lucy, the youngest of the four daughters of a Pole in Warsaw. According to custom, the bride kept her face covered throughout her wedding. After the ceremony the bridegroom lifted the bride’s veil and was shocked to find that he had married Lucy’s eldest sister, Rose. He fainted. Cable item. The stranger was seeking the girl of his heart. And someone suggested Miss Lucy. He simpered and sought for her hand from the start, Though wondering how in the deuce he Woud manage to bear, as a sister-in-law. The ill-named Miss Rose, who had turned thirty-four. The wedding proceeded, as most weddings go, With music and stammers, and tears, They lifted the veil so the bridegroom could show The joy of his Benedict years . . . The fellow then fainted (from shock, I suppose At finding he’d married not Lucy, but Rose). Now, until again he’s loose, he Cannot hope to marry Lucy—Nor will he ever if his Rose Real determination shows! M.E ”MUSIC WEEK ' Now that Music Week has been launched, it behoves each of us to see that the next four days are planned in a way that will keep the ideals of the Muse constantly before üb. The following schedule for any Music Week is offered for use as a guide, chart, or as shaving paper: Monday.—Silent or gloomy day. Tuesday.—7.3o a.m., “It's Nice to Get Up in the Mor-r-rning . . .” < Harry Lander, Edison record); 9 a.m., “Three Fishers Went Sailing” (“For men must work and women must sweep . . .”); noon till 1 p.m., “Break, Break, Break” (but only for the hour); 3 p.m., “We Have Been Here for a Month!” (La Boheme); 5 p.m., “On My P!ar Softly Falls” (“Lucia Di Lammermoor"). Other Weekdays.—Same as Tuesday. Saturday.—l p.m., “Friends, the Expected Hour is Here” (Quo Vadis); 3 p.m., “On the Ball” (school song): 5 p.m.. “Here’s to the Sparkling* Cup” (“Cavalleria Rusticana”); 6.5 p.m., “Here We Are at the Risk of Our Lives” (“The Gondoliers”); 9 p.m., “'Mid Lures! 'Mid Pleasures” (Rinaldo): 11.55 p.m., “Sweet Adeline”; 3 a.m., “With Cat-like Tread” (“The Pirates of Penzance”). Sunday.—“l Behold Thee Motionless, Pallid!” (“La Gioconda”). BUSINESS AS USUAL Yesterday the officials of the Union Company were busy piecing together all available information as to the fate of the Tahiti. The Auckland office was busy. Anxiety and doubt persisted. A tinkled. Business man on the wire. Wished to speak to someone in authority., Very brusque. Important. Was that Someone in Authority? Well, he wanted to know what ship would replace the Tahiti for the forthcoming 'Frisco-Wellingtou run? What's that! They didn't KNOW yet? Why the thing was monstrous! Why was he inquiring? Well, he’d tell them why he was inquiring! lie had a gramophones in ’Frisco awaiting shipment to New Zealand. That’s why he was inquiring! . . . And so on, until, in some mysterious fashion, the line became disconnected. Accident to ship—news meagre—extent of damage uncertain—emergency measures. But Business as Usual! PINTS AND GALLONS The story of the wedding celebrations near Gore that ended with a battle royal between the bridegroom and the best man reminds one that Southland’s largest town, like other “dry” spots on the map of New Zealand, is by no means immune from the odd happenings, grave and gay, that/go hand in hand with excessive drinking. Not very far away from Gore is a township called Mandeville which contains a licensed hotel. This establishment is the Mecca of all thirsty people, and Gore men drive “over the border’’ at frequent intervals. There Is a “dry" centre not far away from Gore that makes a mockery of its no-license status. An excellent road with a tar-surface leads from the main street practically to the door of the nearest hotel in the adjacent “wet” district. Curiously enough the local county council have not seen fit to carry it any further for the benefit of such small fry as farmers and outlying factory owners. Along that road runs a regular passenger service. As few people are satisfied with paying a return transport fare for merely a few drinks, one may discern wisdom in the remarks of Sir Harry Lauder after his recent visit to New Zealand. Discussing local “wet" and “dry" laws he said something like this: “The difference between the licensed areas and the no-licensed areas is that in the former they get it in pints and in the latter in gallons,"