Heart and Home Ghats

Sun (Auckland), Volume IV, Issue 1050, 14 August 1930, Page 6

Heart and Home Ghats

Amne Ratledge

By

Allas Anno Rutledge wilt answer tetters In this column every Thurs day An accomplished writer an ardent feminist , a student of human nature and a wide traveller she well fitted tor the task I'host who have problems and iack c confidante to help in their solution may with confidence write to Alls* Rutledge whose knowledge will bt placed at their disposal A sym pathetic woman, she wilt assist those who stand m need of assist ance Communications for Miss Rutledge should be addressed to THE SUN office

THE TABLES TURNED

Dear Miss Rutledge,— X am in love with a young man whom I have known for six years. When I first knew him he wouldn’t look at me but now he- is trying to get me to look at him. He professes to care for me but I don't believe him. Should I return his affections or should I remain aloof? WORRIED. ANSWER it is extraordinary bow people flirt wit) love and happiness. You must know whether this man loves you, if you liavt I been friendly with him for so lons. It he is obviously in earnest and you consider his prospects satisfactory, why cheat yourself of the happiness ushered in by ANNE RUTLEDGE. TALL, DARK AND HANDSOME | Dear Miss Rutledge,— A few months ago a girl friend and j I met two young men. They are both I very dark, good looking and well dressed. We have conversed with them twice since and they have asked us to meet them one evening. We hesitate to decide as we feel we are not properly acquainted with them yet, but as we both would like a steady, reliable friend, we would very much like to say yes. Please advise us what to do. PERPLEXED. ANSWER If the young men are well behaved, well spoken, and you like them, why not continue the acquaintance? It is wise not to overlook the fact that reasonable dignity and ladylike manners will always inspire respect. _ „ ANNE RUTLEDGE. HE DOESN’T READ! Dear Miss Rutledge,— • My husband works hard at his profession and gives myself and children much more than the necessities of life. My main hobby is literature, and studying the chief “happenings of the day.” L want my children to be “live wires” and to know all that is'going on in the world, but to my profound sorrow, my husband does not share my ambition. He seems content to drift along in a rut and is never sufficiently interested in the “signs of the times” as to bather even properly to read a daily newspaper. Of course you will agree that in the process of time, such an attitude is going to be detrimental to my husband, but what is one to do about it? ASSURANCE. ANSWER Very few men can afford to miss reading the daily newspapers and hope to be well informed in the commercial world, and I can hardly conceive of one being so foolish as to avoid purposely opportunities for enlightenment and learning that must vitally affect his family and his environment. Jt is surprising, too, to note how Quickly continuous slight negligence can lead to really big issues and cause a man to be completely out of step, and perhaps may even result in heavy losses. Regarding such cases as these, people often say, “bad luck,” or “lack of good judgment," but the real cause is often lack of study of conditions governing the situation. Again, your husband might be overmuch occupied in the one direction of his particular business to the exclusion of many things that w r ould make for relaxation at least. Of course, there is always the line of demarcation. No wide awake woman wants to sit opposite a man all the evening, w’hose eyes are glued to the newsprint, in an atmosphere of silence so dense one could lose the way. Then there is the type of husband who will always have a paper or book in hand as an opportune excuse when there is something to be done and sadly needing his attention. He will alvrays be the despaid of some poor woman’s heart. Your husband’s lack of interest may be on account of obvious or insidious illhealth, and it would be wise to persuade him to submit to a thorough overhauling bv the doctor. The way to enthuse your husband in sharing your interests, is by a bright and cheerful approach which gladdens the eye. If your husband definitely prefers other pleasures or hobbies, just let it go happily at that, but it would be useful to read out interesting items from the newspaper. ANNE RUTLEDGE. NERVES Dear Miss Rutledge,— I am a very busy man—not yet 30 — but a bundle of nerves, and as “Jumpy” as a cat on hot bricks. I have to keep going at high pressure, and being of

highly-strung temperament, feel that this must be a drawback to me. Can you offer any suggestions? SO-AND-SO. ANSWER Fear would appear to be the genesis of your trouble; fear of failure or the inability to make as mm h money as you wish, and you must put this behind you if vou would make a lasting success of any undertaking. Health is a very big price to pay for the building of a business or the carving of a career, and if you do a little reasoning on this point, what is success without health? It cannot be disputed that the man (or woman) who gives the world the best that is in him, goes more at “top speed” than I the person who drifts haphazardly through life. Also, it is well to remember that few are Indispensable; and in most cases when people come to the end oi their nervous tether and are unable to carry on, the gap is soon bridged and things go on just as before. This may come as a shock to you, as you obviously pride yourself on your job, but I advise you to* readjust your ideas before it is too lat High tension and overstrain is the ugly spoke in the wheel of commerce, and you want to steer clear of Its vicious yet sometimes insidious workings by sensible relaxation. Try going to bed as regularly as possible at 9 a.m., after taking a glass of hot milk. T-earn to I economise your vitality and .also indulge in reasonable and pleasurable exercise. . To "know thyself” is good, but to control ‘ the human mind is going one better. ; ANNE RUTLEDGE.

THE RESERVED SWAIN

Dear Miss Rutledge,— * I have a friend of whom I am extremely fond. We meet every Saturday night at a dance hall. He is of a very deeply reserved nature while I am frank and open. I have stood by him in trouble yet he never takes me into his confidence. I have invited him home, but he never accepts invitations. How can I gain his confidence and good friendship? What can Ido to attract him? His friendship will make my life worth living. I have never made friends with anyone else. PETER. ANSWER Stop and think before you continue “casting your pearls.” Also, do some careful analysing as to why you do not attVact other friends. Make up your mind to be a better harbinger for happiness and good cheer in the future. 'Like attracts like,” and there is no need for you to remain lonely unless you want to be. If you wear your heart in your sleeve so that It is apparent to everybody that you are breaking it for this young man, then you cannot expect much competition from other sources. The man appears to be something of a "leaf in the wind” and you will be wise to wait to see which way the wind blows before you try to win any further confidence from him. Why not let him do a little interest cultivation by way of a change? ANNE JtUTLEDGE. IN BRIEF ANSWER TO “KATHRYN .” A good complexion wash for freckles Is the following:—Take a pinch ot carbonate of ammonia powder and mix it with an egg-cupful of mfik. -then add a tablespoonfui of glycerine and shake them up together. Use this on the freckles as a lotion at night, rubbing it well into the skin. Apply a few drops of simple tincture of benzoin to the water in which you wash your face each night before retiring to bed, and this will help to improve the pores of the skin.