Heart and Home Chats

Sun (Auckland), Volume IV, Issue 1044, 7 August 1930, Page 6

Heart and Home Chats

By

Amne Ratledge

HI tss An/co Kul ir-dye wilt unswa .tiHe.ro in this column overy I'hur a iay An loco rnplls heel write/ at irdenl feminist a student of hurnw nature and a wide traveller she «■ well fitted toy iht [ash Thuswho have ‘ pruOieme ana rack confidante to help in theiy so hit to> ■nay with 10nfidence write to A tie Rutledtje whose fenutrledae will t) • dared at then disposal A syn. | uathrttc woman she will assv : hose who stand in need at as sis 1 : nice Communications <ot A/ Rutledge should he addressed t. I ; rtne Srrv affirfi !

SHE WOULD LIKE TO FLY Dear Miss Rutledge,— I am nearly 16 and have to begin to plan to earn my own living, so ask you . to advise me in this matter Mai>” I of my girl friends are happy to tak« ; up book-keeping or typing, but since j Amy Johnson’s wonderful feat, I am filled with ambition to become an avla- ' trix. Will you kindly tell me the ! chances for success a girl may have I in this direction? SOARING ANSWER I cannot tell you whether you will be a success or a failure as an aviatrix, for the question of your actually soaring in the flesh, or continuing to soar in your day dreams, depends entirely upon stamina, aptitude, energy and determination. Remember that Miss Johnson has “worked her way up” with remarkable fortitude, ! and she had more grit and endurance than the average person has to command It takes much courage and self-denial to be successful at most professions nowadays, but when young flappers aspir** to aviation it is usually because they have an abundance of energy which has However, if you are earnestly resolved to enter the field, you cannot begin too young; so it might be advisable for you | of the possibilities at the near ! Whatever profession you really do take up, be sure that it is congenial to you. for this is half the battle of success. If you eventually become a successful aviatrix, you will make big money, and' also have the satisfaction of knowing that you are using your life in the interests of science and progress. ANNE RUTLEDGE. HER FRIEND’S HUSBAND Dear Miss Rutledge,—My married life is happy, and my husband treats me well. I have a friend, however, who is not so fortunate, and her husband is undoubtedly spoiling things by affairs with other women. My friend is rather nice, and much more attractive than X am, so why should this be? SYMPATHY. ANSWER Some men are inclined toward philan- ! dering, and the loveliest of girls would ! not hold them for long at a time. Of j course, a woman’s personality counts for ! a great deal, and generally speaking the' women who keep their husbands ns lovers and happy companions are goodnatured, happy-go-lucky, and easy to I get along with, and possessing a sympathetic touch when required. That ■ happy knack of raising a brave smile and offering cheery consolation when a husband is moody goes a very long way. These attributes can be cultivated by the most serious-minded women. With regard to your friend’s husband, perhaps a little persuasion might help him to pull himself together, and discipline his mind with better ideas. ANNE RUTLEDGE CHILDISH! 1 Dear Miss Rutledge,— For the past year or so I have been keeping company with a girl to whom I am greatly attracted. During the first few months she acted in quite a normal way, but lately she ' has changed, and now behaves like a child. I have tried several times to find out the reason for this behaviour, but! have always failed. I now ask your i advice on the matter, and shall be [ obliged if you can give me a satis- j factory answer. R.T. ANSWER Do not despair. The young girl may bo passing through a mental phase, and in a short time will probably be quite her normal self again. It sometimes takes weeks, months, and years to understand the fair sex, especially if they are just at the “cutting of wisdom teeth” stage. If she tries your patience to the extreme, perhaps a little of \ her own medicine might rouse her dormant intelligence, and make her realise her folly. ANNE RUTLEDGE. THE INDIFFERENT HUSBAND j Dear Miss Rutledge,— I would like your advice on a question which frequently causes quarrels between my husband and myself, and makes me terribly unhappy. 1 am continually fighting the suspicions which enter my mind when he leaves home, which is frequently. He never says where he is going or has been. fnd I have tried numerous ways of rylng to win his confidence, but he still evades me, and is una-pproachahie and cold at these times. I consider it his duty to tell me where he goes. Am 1 right in this? I do not want him tied to my apron, but it is

I work of art to get him to take nnout, and if 1 suggest going with him he generally puts me off until it is too late for me to dress, and then he goes off by himself; he does.not want | me. We have a little girl, two years j of age, for whose sake 1 carry on, but | I look ahead with despair. I must j wiy back the trust, lack of which is I killing my love. lam broken-hearted ; over Lhe whole thing Can you help i me through your columns, which I alii ways read with great interest? WEARY j ASSU’/i/: j that find I hen way into my box' *Ytmi 1 make inn long for tho wisdom'of Minerva to unravel the twisted skeins of misunderstanding hi tween straying busbands and unhappy wives. The position you describe to me is Intolerable tour husband’s ways are apparently tin .'hangeablu, or bo is tired or you It is a good tiling thut you art laginning to wake up, for you have a right to happiness now and always. Change y°ur t act tea, am] begin to map out your life differently, nutting your husband definitely outside tile intimate scheme of things. Within reason, let him go his w: ! y , !intl •’! i'Pcar unconcerned and utin 1 1reted. Don t confine yourself overmuch to tin- four walls of the home but seek happy companionship and take a tunic in your appearance and womanly cnar m, f orbid jealousy or despair to enter your life, and if you .In not weaken you will find that friend husband will in >h, e [one mn. do a little pondering .should things mg,.me too trying, you ovve it to yours--I | anti little daughter to separate from this man. at the same time securing a - mxfortable maintenance allowance. But first consult a good You will find it a wonderful tonic -dui - IP* your ordeal, continuously to cherish bright and happy thoughts, and surround your little girl with love. Your life and hers are too precious to be detrimentally affected by such a poor husband and father. * ANNE RUTLEDGE. RATHER SHY Dear Miss Rutledge,— As you have so kindly helped me before in matters that worried me, I hope you will do so again. I have known a very nice young man for quite a while, and I am very fond of him. T think that he likes me too, for whenever he is with a man friend or anyone else, he will always leave i them and come to me, and if I am working late and have to go home by myself, he always wants to meet me to see that I get home safely. Now, w'hat is worrying me is that he will never arrange to meet me to take me out, but sometimes if I happen to run into him when I am out for a stroll, he will then invite me to go to the pictures with him. But he will never arrange to meet me. Do you think that I should accept when he acts' this way, or say that I have arranged to go out, and see if it has a different result? I have always accepted bis ; invitation so far. I will be very grateful if j'ou will advise me. ANNOYED. ANSWER j Your friend appears to take too much j I for granted, and you should set a greater | value on your friendship. A little indifference expressed by you might I arouse some enthusiasm in this young i man. although the love affair does not look promising if it is necessary to , stimulate his interest. Perhaps lack of S sufficient income may be his reason for i not making appointments with you. Do not be too anxious about things, for presumably you are both quite young and if love is reciprocated, a way will be found for its expression So, next time you are asked casually to go to the movies, why not demur and hint that you prefer to be out of doors if it is fine. A pleasant walk might bring a better understanding than if you were both seated at the picture show. Of course the “Open Sesame” to some men’s hearts is to keep them guessing, but I believe that in the end. many couples would be better off if they did not fence with one another. ANNE RUTLEDGE. IN BRIEF | TO “L.TI.” SCOUTMASTER i I do not think that you could find a j more vital type of poem for your boys i than Rudyard Kipling’s “If.” ANNE RUTLEDGE. TO et MA T A POUR I. ’’ Melt together one desertspoonful of coconut oil and one teaspoonful of castor oil, and massage thoroughly into the scalp each night. In a very short time you will notice a great change in the general tone of your hair. ANNE RUTLEDGE.