FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume IV, Issue 1035, 28 July 1930, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

“THE LOOK-OUT MAN."

ANOTHER LITTLE PHIS'K In announcing his Budget Mr. Forbes spoke in a clear voice and hesitated only to drink numerous glasses o£ water.—News item. Something seems amiss (gulp), Got to see it through (gulp), Dry work, this (gulp)— Making people blue (gulp) . . . Tax, tax, tax (gulp)— Revenue is thinning (gulp): Tariff dues in whacks (gulp)— This’ll stop their grinning (gulp) Schedules by the score (gulp). Each a little worse (gulp). We and Co. need more (gulp) Front everybody's purse (gulp) . . . Now I’m near the end (gulp)— Well, that tens a snorter! (gulp). Gulp. gulp, gulp (gulp)— Thank the Lord for water! M.E. SATURDAY GLIMPSES Two delighted Maoris parading Queen Street in brand-new plus-fours —a tribute to the British team’s sartorial perfection. A queue waiting to buy box lunches. “One for me, too, John, and remember now, I detest ham.” A “crocodile” of schoolgirls, each with a large rug. “Can you tell me where the Eden Park trams leave?” Man emerging from barber's with face only half-shaved, holding ground ticket in one hand and watch in the other. “Let's see, now; five points in—that means if they lose by five , . .” Banners, ribbons, buttons —banners, ribbons, buttons—banners . . . “Can you tell me where the Eden Park trams leave?" “800-hoo-o! I want my mummie!” * * * GENTLY DOES IT ’Twas at the Test match and at a point in Eden Park where the crowd was thickest. A very small man was standing in front of a very massive lady. Small Man (looking round anxiously): "Are you feeling quite well, Miss?” Massive Lady (coldly): "Yes; quite well, thank you." Ten minutes later:— , Small Man: “Are you still feeling all ► right. Miss?” Massive Lady (rather tartly): “Cer tainly, but why are you asking?" 1 Small Man: “I thought you might be going to faint; and. if you do. try to faint sideways!” * * * BIRDS AND SILVER These quaint little Test match sidelights: Take, for example, the seagulls. On Saturday word had gone round on the waterfront and beaches that there was something doing at Eden Park. Papa Seagull, mamma, and all the youngsters made the journey by air and were present in full force. There were thousands in the crowd who envied those seagulls. They enjoyed a view of the game that couid not be excelled for, wherever the ball went, they could follow. The birds hovered over the ground in flocks, occasionally alighting and pecking at morsels unearthed by the flailing boots. Then there was the episode of the sixpences. The Tall and the Short of it were standing together on the terraces. The Short glanced down, spied sixpence among the cinders and gloated. The Tall glanced down also and he, too, was rewarded with a stray sixpence. From that moment football affairs gave place to impromptu silver mining. The Tall was no longer concerned with the feeliubs of those behind him, and the Short 1.0 longer bemoaned his lack of inches Unfortunately this tale cannot tie worked to a thrilling climax —the “mine” proved to he only a strav pocket, and the pocketing ceased as abruptly as it began. * * * “ADGEE-ADGEE" With perfectly justifiable sarcasm, a Sun correspondent has called attention to the happy fact that a mysterious substance called agar-agar may enter New Zealand duty-free. On reading this letter, the L.O.M. realised that he had been robbed of a good paragraph, but harboured no resentment, and set about gathering material for an item that would explain the mystery. Needless to say, on the subject of agar-agar he was profoundly ignorant. So was his little-known but useful colleague, the Man Who Looks Out While the L.O.M. is at Lunch. The task was not an easy one, but eventually a sufficiently learned person was found. Agar-agar is pronounced in scientific circles “adgeeadgee.” It is a vegetable gelatine produced chiefly from a red seaweed known as Ceylon moss, and it is used by bacteriologists for their cultures. Fancy that, now! Agar-agar—pardon, “adgee-adgee”—will he allowed by Mr. Forbes to enter the country duty-free. Upon oue's soul, one is almost persuaded to vote United.