Heart and Home Chats

Sun (Auckland), Volume IV, Issue 996, 12 June 1930, Page 6

Heart and Home Chats

By

Annue Rutldge

Alia* Anne Rutledge will answer letters in this column every Thurs dag An accomplished writer an ardent feminist, a student of human nature and a wide traveller she «a well fitted tor the task. Those who have problems and lack a confidante to help in their solution may with confidence write to Miss Rutledge whose knowledge will be placed at their disposal A sym pathetio woman, she will assist those v?ho stand in need of assistance Communications for Miss Rutledge should be addressed to TUB SUN office.

THE ABSENT FRIEND Dear Miss Rutledge,— I am very worried and I would like your help. I have a friend of whom lam very fond. If anything should happen to htm, I don't know what I should do. This young man has asked me to marry him. The first few months of our engagement were great happiness to us both, and my friend seldom was out of my sight. But this has all changed now, and he goes to the hotel before he comes home from work, and when not working, is down town until late, returning in time for dinner at 6 p.m. As my fiance stays at my home, and does not tell me where he goes to, I natur ally worry, especially as he gets very nasty when questioned and says that he can't stay in the house all day. On Sundays it is worse than ever, as he gets with the other men, and although he says he won’t be long, he stays away for hours. Please advise me what to do. VERY WORRIED. ANSWER Cease worrying and give your fiance a Jittie of his own medicine. “Experience keeps a dear school, but wisdom can be bought in no other,” and as marriage is a partnership, you must recognise the important and necessary part you are to play in the firm of “United Love, Ltd.” r urthermore, you must make your intended acknowledge his responsibility, too. At present you have the benefit of a “close iip of his characteristics and way of Jiving', and many a girl does not have this advantage, so be careful not to go headJ?jy carriage if you are not conlident of happiness. yol L thought that your friend may be suffering from a temporary reaction through being too much in your Again, it is reasonable for have other interests, but it is a pity that these are not more in the nature sob5 ob £ y . or healthy recreation, and perhaps it is not too late for you to be- ■ ° J n terest him in some worthwhile occupation. There is so much to do couples are planning a future it* 1 ,. 1 * 1 ® other hand, supposing that he is badly neglecting you it might be wise to f rm K bu J cheerful stand now, and drawn into a union with USH?® ® f d J®. cord obscuring the future Tlify not cultivate friendships with other gills a little more, and create a second* system? Make it clear that you ■ io £t.f rood ,, Bines without his prehV^ CB 't T hls 'j lll make you feel more in., dependent and eliminate the helpless That fs,°ii7 UnhapP 4 and depression “\?* asasl 3? >'ou in the empty moments what he U is e do r ing.‘ S Compan - v ' and WOPd «h overlook the fact that humanity !f„ fr °m. perfect, so dwell rather on the heat qualities of those dear to you if you want happiness. y ANNE RUTLEDGE. FURNISHING Dear Miss Rutledge,— I am being married shortly and going to live in a flat. My fiance is anxious that the furnishings shall be as comfortable as possible, but Insists that I do the buying according to mv own tastes. There is not much money available, so I am seeking your advice in the matter, as I want to do the job properly. . „ LILIAN. ANSWER. Much would naturally be decided by your tastes, and whether you prefer new furniture to some of perhaps better quality, to be secured for the same price >econd-hand (except, of course, the beddmg) I stress the point of buying good stuff because it is always more satisfactory in the end. Cheap furniture is poor * or ** soon needs replacing and advertises its value by the usual .unsatisfactory effect of wear and tear. Of course, the modern trend of colour makes t possible for furniture manufacturers to turn out some quite artistic and effective results inexpensively, but I think your most satisfactory plan will be to buy only the essentials needed for each roolm. Try to secure good pieces and compare values, new and second-hand alike, thus laying the right foundation and adding the odd finishing touches to your rooms later, when funds increase. I have known of instances similar to your own where the most pleasing effects have been obtained by using pack ng oases and prettily patterned cretonne It Is possible to make a delightfully quaint dressing table from an ordinary plain deal table by covering up its trfeliness with gathered taffeta, or any other fairly stiff material, together with frills of muslin or lace. An antique-looking goldtramed mirror hung in the centre, and candlesticks of quaint design each side, give an old-world atmosphere of simplicity and charm worthy to adorn any bedroom. Trunks can also be covered and two of the same height made to look like settees, thus serving the purpose of useful “space-filling.” Do not forget that the average bride spends much time in the kitchen, and harmonious surroundings more often result in a good dinn«*r than not. Blinds, curtains and linoleums literally “eat” up the cash, so he careful to budget your finances accordingly. ANNE RUTLEDGE.

A DAB OF ROUGE Dear Miss Rutledge,— I am rather a plain girl and find that unless i “do up” when I go out to parties, I receive little or no attention from the opposite sex. My father, who has rather old-fashioned tastes, is opposed to this and lectures me for using lip-stick and powder. He cannot bear to and although 1 look much nicer with it on, there is constant friction in the home on this account. Do you sympathise with me, or do you advise me to discontinue? PLAIN POLLY. ANSWER. It is safe to say that if most plain women were to be possessed of a wishing ring overnight, their first wish wou'ii be to become beautiful, for even before Delilah made Samson captive, a woman’s looks were her “shield and buckler,” and her “sword” as well. Therefore, I do not hesitate to advise you to make the best of your appearance, and if a little powder is the only thing needed to do the trick, why not? Of course, a woman should “make up” intelligently, and if she is pretty enough without It, why gild the lily? It is pathetic to see an overdose of paint and eye-pencilling where it is not required, and it would be just as out of place to hang a Raphael in the fowl’s house, as to see a woman “got up” as if for the theatre, doing her morning cleaning around the house. A married woman should try as much as possible to present a picture of housewifely neatness and charm, as she graces the doorstep in / the morning, and a little extra attention to toilette in the evening is a fairly good investment on her part. Often a touch of powder and rouge is an asset to the business girl, particularly as long hours in offices tend to increase pallor. Personally, I do not like the idea of girls using too much lipstick or rouge, and if they want a better colour, let them depend rather on healthy outdoor exercise to stimulate the circulation. I should like to see more girls travel, within reason, by “shanks’s pony” with sensible shoes, and then would come the bright looks and sparkling eyes. So I advise you to try exercise before becoming a slave to rouge, lipstick and powder. . Continued over-application of powder will inevitablv ruin what complexion you have, and leave the skin in unhealthy condition. A little face cream, now and then, is advisable, especially if you are using powder. ANNE RUTLEDGE. SENT HIM PACKING Dear Miss Rutledge,— I have been friendly for the past six months with a young man who has two or three times kept his appointments with me when he has been under the influence of liquor. I have spoken to him about this matter, but when he gets out with certain of his boy friends he seems to forget what respect he owes to me. Apart from this failing, he has many good qualities which I admire. The last time he mot me in this condition,- I refused to see him again, and as I have neither seen nor heard from him since, I have been wondering if I have done right. Thanking you in anticipation. WORRIED. ANSWER You have not much to worry about, but a great deal to be thankful for. In addition to exhibiting lack of respect for you, this man has at least one weakness or bad habit which is quite enough to wreck the good ship “Harmon;'-,” apart from anything else that might develop later on. So bear up bravely my friend and don't weaken. Feel glad that you are fancy free and delivered from the alcoholic "bug.” Live your life happily, and Mr Right will come along, for the cheerful spirit is a great magnet, tonic, and haven, for a man in these days of stressful competition. ANNE RUTLEDGE. “ABOUT THAT RING . . ” Dear Miss Rutledge,— I would like your advice on this matter: I was engaged to a boy who found that he cared for someone else, so we ended our courtship. He did not ask for the ring back, eo I have kept it. My mother says l have a right to it because of all the expense and trouble I have gone to in prepar ing my “box.” I want to feel sure that I am entitled to keep the ring, or if I can sell it, or am I compelled to give it back to him? Can my late fiancS make a court case about it if I sell it? As he has not played the game, 1 do not see why I should have to give it back, yet if he asks for it shall I have to return it to him? Kindly help me. HUMFTY ANSWER When you became engaged to your late fiance you both contracted a certain obligation of which the ring- is a symbol In the ordinary way, a girl would return the ring should the engagement be broken for it is not good taste to capitalise on such matters. However, if the circumstances merit a different view of the trouble, involving loss, the question get<* down to a material basis, and some girls would fee L-justified in keeping the ring, and perhaps sue in a court of law for breach of promise, which step I do not approve unless it is a. particularly bad case. You must use your own discretion in this matter. ANNE RUTLEDGE.