FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume IV, Issue 974, 17 May 1930, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By i

“THE LOOK-OUT MAN.”

THE NEW MORALITY From a report presented by the curator of the Zoo to the City Council: “The morality for this year has been slightly in advance of that for 1928-29. This may be accounted for by the increase of specimens from over sea; very few were obtained in the previous year.” Reformers! Up and doing! Here’s a field entirely new: Our modern derelictions have extended to the Zoo! And, what is worse, among the shameless animals attacked Are many older residents—New Zealanders, in fact. It would be most unfortunate if, through our apathy, The palm for reformation went to creatures over sea, So let us meet each specimen with manner unafraid, Arrange and hold a spectacle—a Zootown Sin Parade! Your pardon, sirs. '‘Mortality" the word is meant to be; A City Council typist dropped the necessary "t.” M.E. NOT SO SIMPLE For several years a small boy at Hamilton, owner of a pet rabbit, has made a regular practice of exhibiting his furry friends in the Fanciers’ Show. But he has never yet won a prize, for the rabbit is a most ordinary creature of the common or garden variety. Poor little lad; so hopeful and vainly persevering! Wait a minute, though. Each year the entry fee for the rabbit costs the boy one shilling. This entitles him to an exhibitor’s pass with which he can take the whole family into the show at any time, and as often as he likes, without further charge. Sympathy withdrawn. replaced by admiration. LIGHTS OUT S.D.: Your description of the protracted wrestling bout in Buffalo will remind followers of the game that a similar farce was enacted in the Auckland Town Hall some years ago when mammoth Ike Robin, Maori wrestler who weighed 17 stone odd, faced slim but eel-like Mohammed Ali Sunni, weighing round about 10 stone 61b. The affair began at 8 p.m. and, to quote the -words of a disgusted sports' writer, the pair “lay in one hold all night.” This may have been a little overdrawn, but the fact remained that as Sunday morning approached the lethargic contest was still carrying on. Finally, amid the cries of enthusiasts who had not left the hall in disgust, the caretaker appeared, announced firmly that the Sabbath was at hand, and turned out the lights. Result, a draw. THIS WEEK’S PUN Said the Rev. Jasper Calder when speaking at a meeting last evening •to consider the formation of a boys’ band: “If 35 boys are provided with 35 instruments this will be a sound project.” UNDER POLAR ICE Unless there is more in the scheme than can be discerned at first glance. Sir Hubert Wilkins’s decision to attempt polar exploration with a submarine appears merely to be a new method of solving the mystery of the hereafter. His latest announcement has a flavour of Jules Verne about it. Sir Hubert proposes to equip the prow cf his submarine with boring machinery, evidently in order that it may tunnel its way through the ice like a mammoth weevil. This prompts a host of questions. How will the explorers see where they are going? How long will it take them }o bore through unknown thicknesses of rockl.ke ice? If they wisfl to return will they bore round in a circle or simply back out? What will have been achieved if they reach wherever they Plan to go? All of which strengthens the L.O.M.’s decision to refrain at ail costs from taking part in Sir Hubert’s enterprise. CANDLES FOR SAFETY The ordinary and unscientific person can only marvel at each new wonder announced by Marconi and his competitors while, on occasion, hoping that the powers possessed by these wizards of electricity will not be made too easily accessible to the practical lokers and other possibly malignant people. It would be a little trying to go to bed, for instance, and find all the electric lights in the house suddenly switched on by some cheerful idiot amusing himself at the other end of the world. It might be even less amusing to have the process reversed in the middle of a dance. One does not pretend to understand what precisely are the limits of these powers, but if we reach a time when anyone’ can play the fool with anyone else’s electricity at whatever distance awav, the ancient candle may yet recover its old popularity. One feels moderately certain that even a Marconi will be unable to blow out a candle at a distance of 10,000 miles.