Heart and Home Chats

Sun (Auckland), Volume IV, Issue 932, 27 March 1930, Page 6

Heart and Home Chats

By

Auue Rurledepe

Allah Anne Rutledge wilt answer letters m this column every l fun s day An accomplished writer an ardent feminist, a student of human nature and a wide traveller she is «ctll filled tor the task Those uho h:ve prttOlems and lack a confidante to help in their solution may with confidence write to Miss Rutted'?* whose knowledge wilt b*■ placed at thetr disposal A sym pathetic wt> man she- will assist those who stand I n need of assist anre Communications for Miss Rutledge should be addressed to THE RUN office

SPECTRE OF THE PAST Dear Miss Rutledge,— There is a clique of young people in j our town who frequently get up to i mischief, inasmuch as the things they do will not always bear the searching rays of daylight. I used to go to dances with this crowd, but decided after experi* nee with some of the girls they were too “high stepping” for ray liking, and now avoid them altogether. which means that I have a pretty slow time as people 1 would like to know associate me with former; < ompanions, and it is apparent that 1 | have “a reputation.” I refer particu- j larly to a nice girl who is of good I standing in the community, and whom I greatly admire, but who avoids me. ! I admit I have been foolish, but wuat shall I do about this matter, as I think my “murky past” is to blame. “MERE MALE.” \ NEWER Keeping away from the mire is better than trying to wash it off, as you have Iready discovered. However, as women «lo not yet demand a history of the past life of men before marriage, there is every chance that the fullness of time will bring you the desired opportunity to become properly acquainted with the young woman. In such a case, I advise you to refrain from defending your own past actions'or trying to find an opiate for your conscience by blaming former influences. Unless you have been thoroughly wild and there is real evidence of this abroad, you should be able to glide gracefully into- the right company and thereby reach your objective. If the girl’s parents are particular they naturally will not welcome your friendship lest you besmirch their daughters character, and spoil her chances with other men. An old Greek proverb tells us that a crooked stick cannot be made straight and somewhere else it is written that a leopard does not change its pots; you, x in your heart must know how far these maxims fit your case. The process of cleaning the “tarnish” should be instrumental in making a better man of you. In the meantime watch your step, live quietly and endeavour to become a useful member of the community. ANNE RUTLEDGE. HER SISTER’S PROBLEM Dear Mias Rutledge,— I am a hard old woman of the wicked world, and ray writing 19 getting fairly shaky as your eyes will see, but all the same I am in a quandary because my younger sister wants my advice in the choice of a sweetheart. Please write and tell me as ray anxiety is great and I cannot sleep at night with this load upon my mind. “ONE ALONE IN THIS WICKED WORLD.” ANBWER_ You write about the matter of advising your sister as something which keeps you awake at night, therefore I can only arrive at the conclusion that there are complications or many pros and cons, which you have not mentioned. Much would depend upon the age of your sister, her social standing, disposition :< tid general make-up. if she has to « boose between two men, the same would • pply, and your sister should be guided by her instincts as well as a certain knowledge of life and the ways of “this wicked world.” Take for example a home-loving woman. Such a person would make a fatal mistake If she married the type of man who wanted to bq out every night and viceversa, unless, of course, there was an understanding beforehand and neither suffered. Marriage, like school, has its different grades, and even the elementary stages require preparation. It is frequently my experience to come across couples who will ever remain at kindergarten. You will agree that as people grow <*lder their tastes should become more discerning, and after turning, say 30 the * hotce of a partner might be in direct antithesis to one chosen at 20. I could help you further if more details were to hand. ANNE RUTLEDGE

EX-SOLDIER’S WIFE j Dear Miss Rutledge,— j lam a married woman, and go to I work, earning £3 10s weekly. I have j three children and my husband, a j returned soldier, has such bad health j that we need the extra money very l much indeed. Yesterday, my em- ! ployer sent for me and said that 1 must look for another job because I he had decided not to employ married j women. Shall I explain my position ] to hint, or just quietly try to secure | another position? My husband, owing to war wounds, is not able to work for any great length of time, and his | pension is totally inadequate to keep us going. B.C. ANSWER Certainly, explain the position to your employer, particularly why you are workmg, and tell him your husband’s war record. Perhaps it may be that your employer knows that numbers of men who want a job are unemployed through married women "doubling up" the family income—especially the childless ones, and he intends to stop the practice in his J sphere oi influence Such a man would : probably adjust the difficulty as soon as he knew the circumstances. On the other hand, in my experience with humanity. .it is quite evident to me that some em- ! do 4 > vit , h a diplomatic yet direct reminder of their promises made during, the war. Fired by the surge of patriotic sentiments, and perchance accompamed by martial strains from the local band multitudinous promises, attractive and heartening, were made to men leaving all kinds of jobs to serve the Empire overseas. Unfortunately, by the time they returned, some employers were radiating a different and colder atmosphere. The best billets were held by lndispensables or the certified unfit whereas the soldier would take a lontime to settle down and be of value again* promises wore not redeemed in ni £?* how njauy were only redeemed in the letter and not the spirit? I feel t£r2£5 ly the cau ? e of the decent returned soldier, as in manv case*. Hirna• ♦L S of . tbeir experiences greatly handicap them in the competitive struggle for a living The home life of many a returned soldier is scourged by the spectre of unemployment, or poverty through promature bad health. Can some of us in >;ew Zealand benefit by a little consultant u h ™ , \ ac i ence J and be revitalised over the style?” 1011 tC> help a “ lame dog ANNE RUTLEDGE. THE SPOILT ONE | Dear Miss Rutledge,— My sister has asked the to share a seaside house with her for five weeks as her guest. So that we both can reel fairly free, my sister suggests that we take a competent help along too. Now it so happens that i know a young person with a child who welcome such an opportunitv as she is hard up and in need of 'a I Change of air. I should like to suggest her to my sisier, but on account ot the child (age four, who is thoroughly spoiled and delicate) 1 hesitate to do so. My sister has two kiddies, who are well-behaved, and I’m afraid another child might cause inconvenience, yet I should love to help the poor girl so much in need of money as well as a change of surroundings. Can you guide me in this matter? THIRTY. ANSWER ST 1 * ari r^ to b< r a guest in your sister s house, the only way you could suggest the Idea of the other woman accompanying the party would be if your advice were sought in the matter. In that case you could outline the particulars and leave it to your sister’s judgment as to i . w ! s » of having a delicate, spoilt children same house as her own M hile admiring your effort to effect a kindness to one in sore need. I advise you to steer clear from the “brink of the precipice.” The child in question could absolutely spoil the holidav for ail concerned, as there are few greater handfuls than spoilt, delicate children and you might, in turn, win the disapproval of both women; the mother because her child was unpopular, and your sister because you were the cause of a discordant element being introduced into the lioushold at such a time. ANNE RUTLEDGE. IN BRIEF ANSWER TO “BATE" The stains you mention can be easily removed by using caustic soda. ANNE RUTLEDGE. ANSWER TO F.TI. My reply to your letter is not for publication, so kindly send a stamped addressed envelope for a private reply. ANNE RUTLEDGE.