FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 922, 15 March 1930, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By

“THE LOOK-OUT MAN.”

THE BIG IDEA Remains discovered in a seven-foot coffin in Surrey are thought to be those of Boadicea. —Cable. Somehow, from the pages of history I'd gathered the lady was fair, And clothed her in glamorous mystery To match her imperious air. I pictured her Majesty flirting With neighbouring kings, on the sly, But now—it is most disconcerting To find she was seven feet high. Surrounded by courtiers hirsute In some unpretentious abode, And prone to the Druidic pursuit Of painting Tier body with woad. And crossing a stream in a basket, Or coracle—that isn't all, For now, from the size of her casket I learn she was seven feet tall. O princess, who scattered the legions, Who rallied the desperate horde, And freed your immediate regions From Caesar’s imperial sword; A beauteous patriot—there was An image delectably dear, But Heavens, a giantess! Where was Your sex appeal, JBoadicea? THE WRONG BRAND A school mistress from one of the suburbs tells this one. She tvas asking the children in a new class to bring small tins to keep .some of their belongings in. “The best kind,” she said, “is a Havelock tobacco tin,” To which a bright young hopeful answered: “Please, .miss, my mother doesn’t smoke that sort. She smokes De Reszlte.” * * . THE GO-GETTERS This morning an immaculate acquaintance perused one of those circular letters sent out by tailoring firms in search of business: As an old customer (it ran) you will know that it has always been the policy of this firm to refrain from exaggeration and the sensational. “Talking of old customers and exaggeration,” murmured the recipient, “I have never been inside their shop.” * * * NEW PLANET For what use the information is, news comes from America that a new planet has been discovered. It is far out in the celestial regions—obviously, or it would have been discovered befoi-e now; and students of poeti-y will throatily murmur: “Then felt I like some watcher of the skies, etc.” But, really, the appearance of a new planet in the American astronomer’s ken has only an academic significance. There is this about it, though, that those of an inquiring turn of mind will be incited to turn their attention to the skies. Terrestrial regions are just about exhausted now that RearAdmiral Byrd is back again, but the uncharted areas of the outer darkness are still in the ring. * * * PROGRESS The spirit of progress is on the move in the South Island, its latest manifestation being a Southland gentleman’s ardent desire to see a motor road from Invercargill to Milford Sound. When the time comes foi the Main Highways Board to consider this work, it will do so with considerable pain. The road to Milford would have to traverse almost unspeakable country, consisting of gorges and mountain ranges piled in bewildering succession. Yet undoubtedly this is one of the roads that Will some day be built. Like the Urewera Country and the top of Rangitoto, Milford Sound must in fairness to the body politic be placed within range by motor of those who lack the energy or enterprise to walk there. It is a melancholy reflex of our insidious degeneracy that one of these days there will surely be a funicular railway to the top of Mount Cook. NEWS FROM THE NORTH Sensation follows sensation in the fishing news from the North. They have been having a busy time at Whangaroa. Day by day the launches come in laden with fish, and the great heart of the outer world simply palpitates for Mr. Stanley Ellis, who has missed this record week, fortnight, or whatever it is, through the unfortunate breakdown of his launch. Somehow we expected more from Mr. Ellis than this. As one of the leading exponents of mass-production in deepsea fishing, he xvas hardly expected to disappoint his many admirers by permitting mere engine trouble to slow up his output. The latest sensation from Whangaroa has, however, nothing to do with Mr. Ellis. It coneerns a Mr. Bowyer, who has been assaulted by a mako with intent to do actual bodily harm. The fish leapt into the cockpit of the launch, breaking the swivel chair, and generally damaging the appointments. It sounds very startling and sensational, yet in spite of this, these acrobatic feats on the part of swordfish and sharks are now rather too xvell known. It is expected of them, and if a fish is caught in 15 minutes instead of three hours, there is more news in that announcement than in the story of some enterprising brxite that towed its captor ten miles. The mako that leapt into the cockpit and perhaps scared seven bells out of the launchmaq was only doing a routine job. It is the old story of the man biting a dog. Nov.- if the launchman had leapt on to the mako!