The Naval Parley

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 920, 13 March 1930, Page 11

The Naval Parley

Will Rogers, the Famous Humorist, “Looks Them Over” HIGHEST-PAID CORRESPONDENT Mr. Will Rogers, the famous Am ■ ic i humorist and screen star, whose ments on the world as he sees it ha", long been a popular featiu-e in the Atner i P ss, A . poid writer at the conference. The following impression of the opening proceed- ' undiluted Will Rogers appears in the typical humour, the spelling a:d the punctuation. | T was a great day. even if the DeleA gates couldent see the Speaker for the fog. Old Settlers, that come to England selling the first American Motor cars, said they liad never seen a foggier day. They claim its the foggiest day saince when one time, Henry the Sth couldent see a wife in front of him. Ambassador Dawes was delayed, he couldent see through the fog to tell if his pipe was lighted. Every Speaker said, “The eyes of the World are upon us.” Say, if the World could see through that fog we wouldent need dissarmament, The King made by far the clearest, most concis§ and best speech of the day. 1 was mighty proud of our Boys, only one of them spoke. It sounded like an allegiance meeting when all the colonies got started declaring their faith, not so much in the Conference as in the Mother Country. A confidence well founded however. \ou had eight speeches and we had one. We don’t want to be argumentive right on the start, But we will want more Parity in ships than we have in Oratory. We stood through one speech, sit through eight, and slept through 12. Three solid hours of Compfiments and not a Row Boat sunk. All of which could have been summed up in the following paragraph. “We were proud to be invited, We are pleased with our reception, and we will whole-heartedly give our support to your splendid cause.' But thats why they call them Diplomats. After hearing a couple of long translations, you could readily see why no more Nations were invited. I was extremely fortunate, my Press seat exactly adjoined the wives of our American Deligation, a little band of seven Ladies, who made this trip possible for the husbands. For witlicut their aid, their husbands wouljd still perhaps be Democrats. During the French interpretations. Mrs. Morrow was telling me what a fine Son in law Col. Lindberg had turned out to be, Said you would be surprised how he had reformed from his wild ways and settled down. When our Leader Mr. Stimson said “We will stay till the World dissarms,” His wife uttered a feeble “oh Lord” and I turned and bid all of them a fond farewell. I do wish you could have sit where 1 did and seen the contortions on Mr. Baldwins face during Mr. McDonalds speech. After three hours of speeches and Interpretations. Mrs. Hugh Gibson, the wife of our Belgium Ambassador, said: * Now you know what it is to b d a Diplomats wife.” The Free State Representative had •he only Oxford dialect present, But many Americans were disappointed in Ins sp.eech, for he started no argument. Lloyd George was supposed to have been held up by the fog, and perhaps several previous elections. Going to the Conference was rather a second choice with me. I offered everywhere my Ticket and ten pounds in exchange for a seat to the Hatrv Trial. They all rested yesterday, including the • audience, But we are in for it again today, Now nobody wishes the British Empire more than I, For they have always been good to me, But I do hope they dont expand before the next speaking takes place. Where was Messopotamia? Yours,

WILL ROGERS,