The World's Playground

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 898, 15 February 1930, Page 9

The World's Playground

f s AlecOS to sporh

Heard about the professional cricketer who was out shopping? The poulterer said, “Sorry, sir, we have no turkeys left. Will you have your usual duck?” During a discussion among English boxing men it was half seriously suggested that a certain pugilist present might be matched against Camera. “With pleasure,” said the boxer instantly, adding thoughtfully, “if you let me lean out of a second-storey window.” Seasonal Greetings It is recorded that two pugilists, who were old enemies of the ring, met in a hostelry during the festive time. Said one with the old-fashioned courtesy of his kind, “I wishes you the compliments of the season, laddie.” And the other responded with a careful look at the other’s “cauliflower.” “And a happy new ear to you, mate.” Bridge Fiends Four men were playing bridge in a certain club (so they say) when a waiter entered softly and, addressing the quartet, said: “Pardon me, gentlemen, but there is a lady at the door who says that her husband promised to be horn© early this evening.” And instantly each of the four rose, saying hurriedly, “Well, excuse me, you fellows.” “Manchester Disjointed” Talking about Soccer, a British supporter was heard lamenting the ineptitude of his favourite team, who were certainly lacking in cohesion. “Ba goom,” he groaned, “I canna understand why they ca’ themselves ‘Manchester United.’ But ‘Manchester Disjointed’ ’ud suit ’em line.” Peltzer Not Wanted Dr. Ottcv Peltzer is not wanted in Sydney again, as the New South Wales association rejected the offer of the Victorian association that for the sum of £SO Peltzer could again compete in Sydney. It looks as if this is poor business, says a Victorian writer, as Peltzer would easily have drawn this amount, especially if the association could have arranged races over different distances with G. Golding as his rival. Her Mother In a holiday golf competition a shortsighted player was allottee} a partner who was a stranger to him. In front of them was a very masculine young woman with short skirts and cropped hair. Apparently she raised the ire of the short-sighted player, who commented in somewhat harsh terms upon her rig-out. “Excuse me,” said his partner in an angry tone, “that is my daughter.” “Dear, dear, I must apologise,” said the man. “I had no idea you were her father.” “I’m not,” said his companion. “I’m her mother.” Not Favoured An English writer suggests that before golfers rush in to buy steelshafted clubs, they should reflect that in America where they have been legal implements for several years, there are few first-class players, either professional or amateur, who favour them. Again (he says) steel shafts are not cheap, and it is very doubtful whether they last any longer than hickory. ** i * U. A. (“Bert”) Barry, the world’s sculling champion, has accepted the challenge of Alf Burns, the Australian champion, to race for the title. The match will be rowed over the championship course on the Thames early in the next English summer. Golf Etiquette A lady with social aspirations decided to learn golf, and, after weeks of practice, was taken out by the pro. for her first round. Coming to a short hole, the pro. said, “Now, madam.' at this hole you’ve got to carry that bunker.” “Certainly not,” said the lady, haughtily. “Let the caddie carry it.”

For the Referee! Entering: a football enclosure, one of the spectators was observed to walk, toward a pile of bricks and put one in each pocket. “What do you mean by it?” one of the club officials asked him: “these bricks are for the new grand - stand.” “I'm sorry,” said the man. humbly. “I thought they was for the referee.” * * * During a Soccer match between those redoubtable Scottish rivals, the Rangers and the Celtic, a tremendous crowd gathered. There arrived lat* 1 two men who were wedged at the back of the throng. One, a tall fellow, was able to see something of the play, the other, very short, absolutely nothing. After about half an hour’s play onof the backs, making a hefty clearance, sent the ball on to the roof of the grandstand. The tall man bent to his friend. “There y'are, Willie,” he said kindly, “there's the ba\ Tak' a. guid look at it afore it comes doon.” Sixteen for the Hole! Four very thirsty and hard-up Scotsmen had finished a round of golf on New Tear’s Day. They were just leaving the 18th, a short hole with a blind green, when a ball appeared from nowhere and rolled toward them. The same idea struck the four simultaneously. One of them secured the ball and placed it in the hole. When the player appeared over the ridge they explained to him how the ball had rolled straight into the tin. "And now.” said one of the quartet jovially, “ye ken the penalty for holing oot in one? Drinks all round.” “What are ye talkin’ aboot?” demanded the newcomer scornfully, ‘ I’m sixteen for this hole.” * * * The Sporting Princes Since the example set by “Ranji” of cricket fame, Indian princes have taken very kindly to English games, says an English writer. The Maharajah of Jaipur plays hockey with the R.M.A. (Woolwich) team, while the Nawab of Pataudi is a talented exponent of the same game at Oxford. The young* Maha rajah of Cooch Behar, who entered Harrow this term, is practising hard at cricket at the indoor nets, while the najaa oi. xuusai is well known at Stag Lane for hi 3 flying enthusiasm. The most famous of all is, of course, K. S. Duleepsinhji, the nephew of the Jam Sahib of Nawanagar, the brilliant batsman who is now in New Zealand with the M.C.C. team.