Heart and Home Chats

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 866, 9 January 1930, Page 5

Heart and Home Chats

By

Annue Rutledge

iflss Anne Rutledge will ansive: tetters in this column every' Thursday. An accomplished writer, an ardent feminist, a student of human , nature and a wide traveller she is well fitted for the tasfc. Those who have problems and tad: u confidante to help «« their solution may with confidence write to Miss Rutledge, whose knowledge will be placed at their disposal. A sympathetic woman . she toill assist those who stand in need of assistance. Communications for Miss Rutledge should be addressed to THE SUN office.

NO SENSE OF MONEY VALUES

Dear Miss Rutledge.— I have a daughter, aged 20, who can't keep money no matter how she tries. The terrible part of it is that she never has anything to show for what she spends, and I always have to come to the rescue to keep her decently clothed. She has a round about and extravagant way of doing little things, and pays out too much for trivial articles. T have wondered if this wasteful fault is heredity, because my father was afflicted in a simitar manner with disastrous results. If so, is there any wav out? DISTRESSED MATER. ANSWER The misuse of money by your daughter is a form of enslavement to which I suggest you apply the remedy of cutting rff the source of supply. By that, vou make “captivity captive” so that it is impossible for the cash to find its way into the prodigal’s open hand. As the practice of employing a steam engine to crack a nut is an expensive failing, and the bottomless pit of extravagance, a nasty one in which to fall, you must needs take firm action to guide your •laughter from her foolish habits. Money isn't something we can just reach out for when the mood is upon us. a id your daughter must realise this. Theorising is utter waste of time. If you want results the only way is vigorously to teach her the business of life without delay. It will do her good to come face to face with practical economy. She is 20 years of age, and to make her recognise a sense of responsibility why not let her go shabbily clothed until she is able to use her money in the

direction? Wiser still, perhaps, v ould be the idea of making her earn ner own income, and live accordingly—to / lreH - Mm »kins at home. 111 *VhS« rC u nß: ,' uur father and his habits in this direction, I advise that you fort a “ thoughts of heredity, as these ideas help to beget trouble. ANNE RUTLEDGE. WOMEN SHOULD LAUGH Dear Miss Rutledge: Would you advise a person, seeking a life partner, to be guided by her sense of humour, or do you think this just a minor consideration. I dislike the giggling type of woman, but think :he one who can meet a situation with an optimistic grin should come before the very serious-minded type. What do you think? j.vswfr neutral. ri ( L a?o S f S J OU are at, oub,e hound, steer clear of the woman whose smiles are as rare as the four-leaved clover. Life is too serious as it is, hut if vou face it with a woman who takes it seriously, and is afraid to indulge in wholesome mirth, you will find yourself manacled from the beginning. Ft is bad for a man's digestion to sul>j«wt him to the everlasting croak of mis.?»rtune, and it is wearing on the constitution to have to face a trying situation in company with an inspirationless “wet-blanket.” A woman who can spark up with a saving grace of humour need not be a paragon of vu-tuej she can be vain, quick-tempered or extravagant, but if she can tilt her face confidently with a smile as the background of good-tem-pered banter at the crucial moment, her pathway in times of trouble will oe smoothed, and she will breathe fresh confidence into the heart of the man who loves her. She does not have to appear majestically superior to all the bumps and bickerings of this trying world, but she can appear an earthly angel if she possesses this enviable quality and knows how to use it. ANNE RUTLEDGE. MOTHER’S AMBITION Dear Miss Rutledge,— It is my mother’s ambition that I shall go on the stage. All her life she has regretted that she did not follow this career, and as far back as I can remember, has tried to excite in

me a similar desire. I am not ambitious in that direction aud although I have been put under dancing teachers and sent to a school for instruction in elocution, etc., feel that 1 am not gifted for the stage at all. I am nearly IS years of age, and am in love with a boy of 21. My mother will not allow us to become engaged. We are thinking of eloping. What would you do under the circumstances? "FAY.” ANSWER

Well, Fay, as you are really only a baby-, I think you will live to seriou.slv regt-et the day you elope. It is never quite a satisfactory thing to do, as there is usually a stigma attached to the girl in the case, and somehow the man dues not have the same respect as he would have had he married her from her own home. I would ask you to give the matter much serious consideration before you do anything that you may regret for a lifetime. Think of your mother and the loving hopes and ambitions that she has entertained all these years for you. Surely if you cannot gratify her wishes you at least owe her respect and coniidence, and it would be rank ingratitude to run off and marry some youth of whom she does not approve. You possibly think the love you have for him will endure, but it may be only "calf love” Which is usually fleeting and unstable. If you do not agree with me on this point, just wait and see if you still want to marry this boy when you are 21. Cash, by the way, is quite necessary, not to mention a regular supply of it, but you did not include mention of such a material thing in your letter. Perhaps it is just as well that vou are not gifted for the stage, for in any case, I think it would be a mistake to develop, or try to develop talent in a girl who is likely to go after the first youth who comes sighing her way. Quite clever girls have disappointed many fond parents in this regard before today, and after having thrown away a promising career for marriage, spend the remainder of their lives aching for the limelight. \\ hile you are not likely to do this, it is quite possible that you will make a mess of your life if you follow your present inclinations. Let us hope that tliev have reached their "high water mark,” and, that, like a sensible girl, you will settle down to being happily useful and a comfort to your mother who should always he your best friend. There is plenty of time for marriage when you know the world a little better, and have a wide circle of friends and acquaintances. You are entitled to a flutter without losing your wings so soon. ANNE RUTLEDGE. ADVICE IN BRIEF ANSWER TO “MILLICENT” I -would suggest that you treat vour enlarged facial pores with a lotion of equal parts glycerine, rose-water and liquid witch hazel. Bathe the face in tepid oatmeal water and dab on the lotion once daily._ Do not expose the skin to the open air soon after washing. ANNE RUTLEDGE. ANSWER TO “LINEN” To remove the mildew from your linen, try the following:—Boil 12,1 b of soft soap in one quart of water; soak the articles in this solution. Lay them on the grass and sprinkle them with salt. Leave in the sun for about 12 hours. When drjc dampen with water. If necessai'y, repeat the process. Rinse in cold water to which ammonia has been added. Hang in the sun to dry. ANNE RUTLEDGE.

TOO MANY GEEGAWS Dear Miss Rutledge,— My sister is an unusually fine girl, but she is not popular with the opposite sex. As a result, my mother expects me to take her about, which makes it rather hard on me. Do you think that my sister might be unpopular because she overdresses? It would put me right off a girl if she persisted in wearing furs summer and winter, ear-rings, beads and all kinds of jewellery. My sister also has lots of trimming on her dresses, and wears ridiculously high heels. I am sure if her clothes were plain she would look a great deal more attractive, but she is very touchy on this point. If you do advise me, 1 intend to show her the answer. BROTHER 808. A NSW E R It is not difficult to understand the “burden of your song,” Brother Bob, but [ certainly think that you have set yourself a hard row to hoe if you would break your sister of her extreme habits overnight. There is no doubt about this being the cause of her unpopularity, for l know of cases where quite nice girls have lost the opportunity of their lives because of their extravagant ideas. Men are actually frightened of this type of girl. They know they could not possibly afford to keep her while making a way in the world, and the man who has “arrived" is not always to be found at one’s elbow. One wonders, with such evidence afoot, if we are so very civilised after all, for does it not seem to savour of the Hottentot and the Kaffir to be so frequently bedecked with beads and ear-rings? Take, too, for example, the fashion set by our Eskimo and Red Indian sisters who always wear furs with the tails and heads dangling about the arms and face. I have heard it said that if women knew the truth about the trapping of wild, furbearing animals, they would show little interest in furs. The indescribable cruelty, the torture and suffering meted out to these poor dumb creatures is difficult for the well-preserved, “guarded" woman of supposed civilisation to imagine. Possibly your sister is young and does not think of these things, and a few home truths will not be wasted. It is a sign of very bad taste for a woman to appear over-dressed on any occasion. Simple, ■well-cut garments without lavish ornamentation, look a hundred times more effective, and usually make a direct appeal to most men. High-heeled shoes, apart from spelling ruination to the feet, look absurd, and why girls indulge in them for everyday purposes when sports or sandal styles offer such contrasting ease, is hard to understand. Woman, in this her age of triumph, has forged many amazing patterns on a modern anvil, but she must recognise that it is still necessary to please man, if only in the little things that count. ANNE RUTLEDGE.

YOUR LAUNDRY BAG A first-rate type of laundry bag for soiled garments is the kind which fits over a coat-hanger, and has a bound centrefront slit for slipping the contents in and out. This can be bought in printed cotton, rubberised (so that damp towels can be put in safely), or Is easily made at home. Use rubber sheeting, making the bag 30 inches long and with a 13-inch slit. Hang it inside your cupboard door.