A DIFFERENCE OF OPINION

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 826, 21 November 1929, Page 14

A DIFFERENCE OF OPINION

Dear Miss Rutledge,— I hope to marry a very charming girl at Christmas-time, and am happy about everything in this connection except the question of a family. My contention is that children make a home and cement a union, yet my fiancee does not appear to share my views, as she refuses to discuss this vital question with me. T am concerned. because I understand that many modern girls do not. want children. A.B.C. ANSWER Your duty is both plain and compelling, for the question of family should bo paramount in the minds of all youngfolk about to marry. Your fiancee mav be a little shy, but it is an indisputable fact, although not openly recognised or confessed, that numbers of modern couples decide this problem before they go to the altar. In your case, it would seem to be a matter of fundamental importance to have an understanding with your fiancee as soon as possible. Her idea may be to continue in her “job” after marriage. Perhaps she does not feel satisfied that you can maintain both her and a family. However, as a house divided will' not stand the test of the “refiner's fire,” it would be foolish to put off the hour of understanding. Homebuilding and the rearing of little ones under healthy, enlightened conditions, offers a great adventure in life, but one must face reality in the process, and be fully worthy of the cause. ANNE RUTLEDGE. FATHER IS THE STUMBLING BLOCK Dear Miss Rutledge,— For some years now i have been very friendly with a young man, who has a ■ most undesirable father, who spends much time in questionable company. My friend is totally different, and has a quiet, well-balanced sincere disposition, upholding fine ideals, and going to church. He is also a splendid son, giving constant attention to his mother, a charming woman. My friend is anxious for me to become his wife, and although I am very fond of both mother and son, I wonder if it would be wise to marry into this family ou account of the father. Would you please advise me through The Sun columns? GOLDEN. a v.str/■;/,' Have no disquieting thoughts on this matter. With such a mother to guide him, it is safe to say that your friend has been strictly nourished from cradle days, to foster a sense for the higher

qualities of character, an<l undoubtedly j lie is strongly allied against taking a similar road to his father. In this ease the old adage, -Like father, like son." I would appear depressing- and unjust. If 1 one could roll the stone away, uncover- • ing some family histories, dust that dims would cloud the vision and choke the i nostrils. There is a certain element of i chance attached to all undertakings. ! .Many promising marriages take place I between couples who arc apparently j models of respectability and good citizen- ! ship. Yet the Golden Temple may hurl 1 a challenging dome into a clear blue sky. ! without revealing all that is buried in I it a catacombs. The purest gems are j found in the darkest caverns, and waterj lilies flourish on the surface of the muddy pool. ; Think carefully about this question, for i much of 3'our happiness depends upon j the durability of your love for your | friend. He is undoubtedly of sterner ! stuff than his father, and the influence ; of such a mother-in-law should prove a i very helpful guiding star. I AXNE RUTLEDGE. THE BRIDESMAID? ; Dear Miss Rutledge,— I have read with much interest youi ! helpful letters in The Sun and, as l ; am very upset, I thought I would I write to you. I am in love with a handsome young man, but unfortun- . ately he does not love me. A girl friend of mine is very fond of him also, and she has asked me to be i her bridesmaid. Can you advise me : what would be the best thing to 1 do? T do not wish to make myself I objectionable. FASHIONETTE. ! ANSWER I Cheer up and accept the fortune of j war. If the man does not love you, it isn’t exactly wise to be upset about avoiding at least one snag in this world. Pocket your disappointment, and if you really love the man you will wish him every happiness and joy. By all means be a bridesmaid and adorn the weddinggroup. However, if you cannot master vour thoughts of vexation and it will be difficult to co-operate happily at the ceremony, don’t be a hypocrite. Just look round for a convenient and graceful eXCUSe ' ANNE RUTLEDGE. MUTUAL ATTRACTION? Dear Miss Rutledge,— ! Seeing your letters of advice and assistance in The Sun, I wonder could you advise me on this little subject. For the past six months or more I have on several different occasions met a man who attracts me very much, but there seems no opening for an introduction. He appears to be a man between 45 and 50, while I am 34, so we are not at the flapper stage. Assuming that the feeling is mutual, ■what is your advice? Thanking you in anticipation. ADMIRER. A VSWJ3R If the feeling of attraction was mutual, the man in the case would soon find or manoeuvre an opening for an introduction. With the scanty details given, I can only offer the suggestion that before the affair ripens, you ought to inquire discreetly concerning a few necessary particulars about your friend. If your acquaintance or knowledge of him is merely superficial, it may happen that the man is married, and therefore your thoughts in his direction will be waste ,of time. The respective ages need not be a hurdle, especially if your personalities are harmonious concerning the things that matter. ANNE RUTLEDGE.