FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 809, 1 November 1929, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By

“THE LOOK-OUT MAN.”

THE CUT IE PARADE 111 inviting applications for the position of typiste, the Te Arolia Borough Council required applicants to send their photographs. Shing-led oi- Singled, dark or fair— They gazed upon each miss, Per photographs that filled each breast AVith aldermanic bliss. “Now here's a lovely girl,” said one, “I move she gets the job. That nose, those lips—what pulchritude ! She’d earn her thirty hob 1” Another said, “This dainty lass AVould make the type-keys fly. Look at those lashes, long and dark. Look at that naughty eye.” They voted for brunette or blonde. Keen was the civic strife. Each backed his fancy, then went home And gazed upon—the Avife ! FRANCO. FUND FOR ALL Under the Solicitors’ Fidelity Guarantee Bill a fund is to be established for the reimbursement of all who incur loss through laAvyers’ defalcations. The measure Avas originated by the members of the profession, and provides for the investment of a substantial sum in trust securities. The plan should work very well —until someone gets away Avith the trust fund. AS SPELT “Scots wlia hae”: Dear L.O.M.- — Schoolboy and schoolgirl howlers and the utterances of precocious youngsters are tremendously overdone, but I can’t deprive your readers of this gem from a local girls’ secondary school. The mistress had been discoursing on Arctic phenomena, including the Aurora Borealis. This is one girl's authentic spelling of that name as it appeared in her subsequent exercises: “A Roarer Borey Alice.” THE PRIMROSE PATH Mr. S. L. Paterson, S.M., has joined the judicial company which demonstrates at intei’vals that in certain seasons and circumstances the normally hard-hoiled magistrate can be as tender and susceptible as a spring chicken. It seems a mystery to laymen that a lawyer Avho wants to conduct his own ease in his own Way should have to submit to outside directions about it. In the ordinary course of business a professional man or anyone else Avho makes a mistake in conducting a client’s affairs is rewarded by loss of subsequent trade. Even doctors are subjected to that arrangement by the relatives of the late patient, even if the gentleman himself does not survive to show his resentment. Possibly it could therefore be argued that threats of committal for contempt in these circumstances amount to a restraint of trade. THE BENEVOLENT NARCOTIC “Watihana.”—Dear L.0.M.: This ceaseless internal wrangling at tlie Transport Board ought to be stopped. I have a suggestion which should commend itself to the disputants. From the gallery I have noted that no one presumes to smoke. What a pity! It is so soothing, you know. Now, if Mr. Allum were to bite at a good fat Corona Corona in approved American presidential style, his utterances might be just a little more deliberate. Again, if Mr. Morton could be assured of a constant supply of fine Turkish, flow fragrant his Avords Avould become. Can you not imagine the serenity of outlook among ten contented smokers. Perhaps we should have something of this sort: Mr. Morton: Mr. Chairman, I must protest Mr. Allum (in a flash): Have a cigar, Frank. Mr. Morton (sweetly): Thanks, J.A.C., I will. Mr. Potter: I contend we should inA-ite private enterprise Mr. Coyle: Have a flll of BarneA-’s. (Laughter.) THE LOST CAUSE Here is a curiosity, a Jacobite paper, the only one published in New Zealand or Australia, and doubtless the only one in the world for all that the average citizen knows or cares about the matter. “The Jacobite” is owned by Mr. C. C. Bagnall, of Wellington, and published quarterly. Evidently Mr. Bagnall is unconcerned AA’ith the tribulations that beset lost causes. He burns Avith enthusiasm fox* monai'chies, and foi* the deposed line of the Stuarts in particular. There is a peculiar flavour of pathos about this survival of the Jacobite cause. It brings echoes of sti*ife and intrigue and dark plottings l-inging doAvn the centuries, and behind it all you picture the formal toast of hardfighting but courtly Highlanders to “The King over the water.” Somewhere, evidently, that toast is still honoured. But the Hanoverian kings seem to have a firm hold on the affections of their people, and, in spite of the romantic cause it espouses, “The Jacobite” to all practical purposes will be one Avith peanut-rolling, long distance club-swinging and similar ineffective eccentricities.