FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 796, 17 October 1929, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By "THE LOOK-OUT MAN.”

SPRINGTIME The hand of Spring has lightly touched the poplar, In gown of green] it soars serenely slender ; And the oak and the willow and the chestnut Alike are clad in tints divinely tender. The riotous parade of cinerarias— All flowers in Springtime raiment go impress me. So prodigal of gifts is Spring, why should it Brig also this dab cold to so distress A MATTER OF TASTE According to a lecturer, the swordfish is incapable of feeling pain, let alone of distinguishing between the single and triple hooks used by different anglers. This seems an excellent theory. A swordfish taken on the single hook would, of course, have no further opportunity of deciding whether this article or the triple hook was preferable. CASTLES IN THE AIR Tom Heeney has confided to a New York interviewer his dawning ambition to become a publican. Further, he says his idea of a comfortable old age in such circumstances is to have an assortment of pugilistic pictures behind the bar. For practical purposes, however, it would be a good deal lietter to have an assortment of thirsty pugilists in front of it. POLITICAL PRIVILEGE Hardened inhabitants and exinhabitants of the Parliamentary press gallery will smile at the intimation that a Hawke’s Bay newspaper has committed a breach of privilege. The newspaper is officially chided, but the member who gave it the story, and perhaps added a bit for his own credit, just goes back to the House and the cheering company of Mr. Bellamy. Further, it has yet to. be shown that on questions of predominant local interest like the Hawke’s Bay rivers question, there should not be some dispensation to allow local newspapers to print the evidence. Otherwise the district has no protection against men who give false or inaccurate evidence before committees. The enormity of the offence entailed in breaches of privilege appears to be diminishing with the years. At one time the Bar of the House, before which offenders 1 were summoned, had a terrifying sound, but nowadays it is at a different bar that they customarily celebrate their delinquencies. DECEPTION “R.M.W.” —On the shelves of the Norwegian vice-Consulate at Auckland are several reference books on Norwegian shipping and commerce laws. Strangely enough, the Norwegian translation of the word “laws” reads “love,” and these volumes are accordingly labelled “Love, etc.” This gentle title has intrigued more than one lady visitor to the vice-Consulate. A-flutter with excitement at the thought of culling from its pages new aspects of the tender passion, a fair caller will wait until she has the office to herself. Then, pouncing eagerly on one of these books, she will avidly search the pages for titillating passages. But what a fall there is! Visions of intriguing chapters give way to the realisation that the book contains nothing but the most unromantic and dry-as-dust matter imaginable, and the seeker after knowledge retires with a pout of disgust. Publishers should really be more careful. Such a confusion of titles, inadvertent as it may seem, is unpardonable! STATELY STATUES It is the considered view of a number of others beside the author , of a recent article that no permanent artistic damage would be done if the public statues of New Zealand were collectively and with few exceptions cast into the sea. In fact, the conversion of the old steamer Wainai into a breakwater for use off Whangaparaoa Peninsula suggests a manner in which some of these enduring monuments could be advantageously employed. Some of the larger replicas of Queen Victoria would give ample protection to small craft, and the salt sea waves would no doubt curl gracefully about the trouser legs of some statues we have seen. It is loosely estimated that something like 30 per cent, of New Zealand statues have been the subject of litigation in which the relatives of the deceased have sought a restraining injunction against the sculptor. Not many such cases are successful, principally because the fee paid to local sculptors is a cut-throat one. Good work has to be paid for. as witness' the fact that the recently unveiled McKennal bust of Sir Edwin Mitchelson cost the Ellerslie Racing Club close on £3.000. The erection of a bust avoids the persistent difficulty of carving trousers out of stone. Betrousered figures have never been a success. John Ballance, in Parliament grounds, Wellington, has the air of a man who has endured a terrific life struggle dragging those dreadful “bowyangs” behind him.