FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 789, 9 October 1929, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By -THE LOOK-OUT WAN.” j XO DOGS, BY REQUEST A Los Angeles girl who died of diphtheria was buried in the same grave with seven dogs, which were symbols of power. When my day is over, please don't bury me with dogs ; You may bury me with horses if you wish ; I am fond of Persian kittens, and I don’t object to frogs, Though I wouldn't share my grave with certain fish. No, X do not care for canines, but I think I’d slumber well With a camel or a zebra, or a mule. With a team of noble oxen or an African g‘a zelle, Or the stags that drink at every forest pool. The giraffe might be considered, but he’d I take up two much space, The elephant, of course, would have his trunk; But do not decorate with dogs my final resting place— I never did like Fido on my bunk ! SQUIDGE. MEDIC IX E “Dear money will unquestionably have a severe effect on trade, and will naturally exercise a certain reflex action on New Zealand,” says Sir Harold Beauchamp, who has .iust come back from England. For a community which has just about had all the “reflex action” it can stand this is not very cheering information. Still, Sir Harold never was exactly a harbinger of joy, and of course it is just as well for our systems that we should have one of those rvonderful pills now and again. BY DIVINE RhGIITI With truly regal modesty, City Councillor H. P. Burton confesses that he is sometimes referred to as “the uncrowned king of Avondale.” This is certainly a rare distinction, and one of which Mr. Burton may well be proud. For even if he lacks a crown, a sceptre or a throne, he may still wield a remarkable power for good by virtue of his kingly state. At the same time a man should be very sure of bis ground before he so exalts himself. This particularly applies in such a suburb as Avondale, where temporary residents have been known to claim relationship with Lindbergh, the Shah of Persia, and other notable people. To put it bluntly, Mr. Burton is probably not the only one who has entertained the delusion that he is the uncrowned king of Avondale. SIMPLE CYPHERS While Press racing telegrams, as lately recorded, are subjected to the censorship of an occasional fastidious telegraph clerk, the bookmakers go merrily on their way with wires that are palpably In code. Usually' the bookmaker’s agent sends the first two horses and the scratchings, with a fictitious signature concealing the dividends for first and second horses in the preceding race. Thus a bookmaker’s telegram will read: —"LADY SPALPEEN SEA COMET STONEWALL GLOAMING CUO ABIE.” This interpreted means that Lady Spalpeen was first, Sea Comet second, Stonewall and Gloaming scratched, and that the dividend is according to code and the cryptic words of the signature. A common code starts at A, and hence the C of the first letter above would mean that the first dividend was something over £3. Such telegrams go through the telegraph office every day of the year, defeating the simple aims of legislators and moralists alike. The remedy? There is none. Why should a telegraph clerk suspect Mr. Cuo Abie of anything but transparent rectitude? FIRES FOR ALL Inexorable progress touches even the most cherished institutions, and as noted herein yesterday the fireman’s brass helmet is now doomed. Even fire-fighting methods change, and it is hence evident that next they will be doing without water. One is reminded of the hectic period through which a Southern newspaper office passed some years ago. One of the proof-readers. an estimable fellowotherwise. developed a secret mania for incendiarism. He had a passion for setting the office on fire in unexpected p’-cos. with the result that strong men, from the editor to the printer's devil, rushed periodically to the fire-fighting appliances. The results were curious. Once there was a fire at the foot of the stairs. There was a hose and hydrant at the top. Four men seized the hose, rushed downstairs with it, and then discovered that, having forgotten to screw it to the hydrant, they had brought the whole thing down with them into the danger zone. After this the harrowed management introduced devices called fire-guns.. These appliances shot a large cartridge of powder at the incipient blaze. At the nightly alarm the staff would rush to the nearest armoury and sally forth like two-gun men to attack the fire. It ended at the seventeenth alarm when someone shot the editor in the seat of the pants. Then the erring proof-reader was detected and removed.