From The Watch Tower

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 759, 4 September 1929, Page 8

From The Watch Tower

By

"THE LOOK-OUT MAN."

CLINCHING TESTIMONY Tlie girl has a good character. She never visits pictures or clance halls. — Major Annie Gordon, at the City Court. Oh woman, in your hours of ease, Be careful where you spend your leisure, Lest eager moralists should seize The places where you take your pleaAs evidence that you’ve a taste For lights and laughter, mirth and revelry, Which testify to a debased Spiritual state akin to devilry. Stay by the fireside loom and spin Kather than earn the stringent strictures Of those who see the brand of sin On each poor lass who loves the pictures. Stay-at-home girls, let worldlings chide — And when the vanished years have barracked her het Fireside Sue retort with pride, “Talkies? Not me. I'm all for character 1” McSHOVEL. A BITING ARGUMENT People with an extra tooth or two in their skulls may not know it but they are an argument in favour of evolution. When an extra wisdom tooth makes its appearance in the gum. this is not only a dental curiosity, but evidence that man is descended from crocodiles and things. To a fond parent who had brought along an offspring suffering from some such abnormality a dentist mentioned the interesting fact. Was he thanked? He most certainly was not. The mother treated him to a hearty dissertation on the folly of subscribing to such theories. But whether or not it was part of the divine plan, that extra tooth had to come out. CONSULS OF SPAIN There is undoubtedly something romantic about Spain. Possibly that is why the novelist, Beatrice Grimshaw, made a recent character purchase a tropic isle from the Spanish Consul in Auckland- That there is no Spanish Consul here is a trifle, of no more import than the trifling fact that there are here no trading schooners manned by half-caste Maori seamen, though it was in such a ship that the heroine voyaged from Auckland to her new possession. But it is a pity, for the sake of realism, that Miss Grimshaw did not make her character buy an island from a consul who really does exist. Now suppose it had been the French Consul, all local readers would have had joy in picturing M. Paul Serre handing over the title deeds. And why not Switzerland? Mr. J. A. C. Allum surely deserves some immortality. FASHION’S FRILLS Fickle fashion is reported to have gone off at another tangent, this time in the direction of old-time frills and furbelows. An evening frock of the latest type is said to contain 1,000 yards of tulle. Since this represents over half a mile of the filmy material, local experts will suspect that the cable man has allowed his enthusiasm to run away with him. Altogether the prospect is far from pleasing. Dresses will cost more, and may not be so elegant. Queen Street will lose half its charm if the ankle-iength dress again becomes the vogue, and even the possible benefits of a revival in the textile trade cannot counter-balance such a disastrous possibility. BRIGHT GOLD

Someone in Christchurch lias discovered life’s second most precious formula—the secret of transmuting base metals into gold. Since seers all through the ages have been pursuing this elusive recipe, the fact that Christchurch has been chosen as the spot where it should come to light furnishes just one more piece of testimony that Providence works in mysterious ways its wonders to perform. Add to this the fact that one of tlje parties to the discovery is a lawyer and it will be realised with a greater clarity than ever that behind all the clamour and the shouting there is an unseen hand at work. As far as the practical effects of the discovery go, the Look-out Man counsels that all should get in early in sending their base metals on to Christchurch for treatment. This deponent has already sent a nice little parcel comprising the family fire irons and grandfather’s sword (it might have shone at Malplaquet, but it didn't; grandfather was an old Naval). A consignment of pure yellow gold is expected by return of post. With this boon conferred on mankind, all that now remains is for the most precious formula of all—the key to eternal youth and happiness—to be uncovered. If the secret that has baffled alchemists for ages should have come to light at Christchurch, there seems no reason to believe that the discoverer of eternal youth should not be found at Waipukurau .or even Wellington.