FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 733, 5 August 1929, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By “THE LOOK-oijT MAN." LOVE S LABOUR LdST A man wlio stole a case from a motorcar in tlie city found tUat it contained a chiropractor’s chair. He threw it into the harbour. He might as well have tried to pinch a tractor, A hippopotamus , or a coach and pair, \ Js rob an unsuspecting chiropractor Of his chair. Therefore, don’t judge him as a common felon. Withhold that frown , that supercilious sniff. He stole a chiropractor’s chair, poor melon ! 2s o wonder he was stiff! —T. TOHEROA. ON THE LINE The sweet-faced old lady was lamenting days that are gone. She was obviously a genuine Victorian, a survival from a prim atmosphere of lavender and old lace, with perhaps a bit of dimity—whatever that is—thrown in. It was an age of nice parties and proper gallantry. But were those demure young Idlings so retiring? “I used to watch the football matches,” she said, “and stood on the line every Saturday holding Napoleon Wellesley’s false teeth.” Well, nice girls don’t do that nowadays, at any rate. i ALL ABOARD One of the major crimes in the motorist's calendar is to get aboard the vehicular ferry and then, when packed nicely in the middle of a tightly wedged mass of cars, to remember an urgent appointment in the city, and howl to be allowed to disembark. Though not in a position to state that this has happened, the L.O.M. enjoys considering the possibility. It is only one of the enjoyments that may be obtained from riding on the vehicular ferry on a fine day. Given a smooth crossing, what i could be nicer than sitting on the ! cushioned seat of a time-payment autoI mobile and reflecting that here, at any rate, the car is safe from the attentions of disappo'nted vendors? Indeed, if it were just possible to keep on riding hack and forth across the harbour, there would be no need to pay instalments at all, and even benzine could be dispensed with. Seriously, though, there is nothing like the vehicular to engender a sense of luxury. Only one problem mars the idyll. Tlie name “vehicular” is such an awkward one to pronounce. Is the “h” silent, as in—psalm? TIME PLEASE It is currently reported that the French Navy’s method of recording the time has caused confusion among many worthy people. Invitationholders were advised that tomorrow’s reception starts at “15 o’clock,” and in their bewilderment called on the French Consul to elucidate the matter. Possibly they held the secret conviction that there was no such hour, and that a hoax was in the wind. This view would almost certainly be shared by the girl friend of any French sailor who invited her, per medium of the invaluable conversation book, to meet him at “20 o’clock” outside the G.P.O. The damsel would deem him crazy, and transfer her affections to a matelot with a better grasp of the proprieties. Personally, the Look Out Man considers this 24hour clock business is overdone. People he knows are under no delusions. If they start work at 9 o’clock, that does not mean 9 p.m. Far from it. And as for saying “eighteen o’clock, gentlemen” at a particularly poignant hour of the day, that seems to convey an altogether wrong impression. * * * SPRING FANCIES Until yesterday, it was so long since there had been a fine Sunday that people had almost forgotten what to do about it. The sort of Sunday that has been happening lately demands a dull and unvarying routine, of' which the first movement is a perfunctory glance out the window, and an immediate retirement to bed. Yesterday when people woke to see a city and suburban landscape bathed in sunshine, nearly all were frankly incredulous. If it really was sunshine, it could only be that unsatisfactory type of sunshine that happens along between showers. Or alternatively, it could be the feeble sort that looks fine when regarded from indoors, but out of doors shows itself in its true colours, with a biting wind piercing one to the marrow. By a happy dispensation, yesterday’s sunshine was none of these. It was good, honest, spring sunshine, whereat golfers skipped on the fairways and greens, and motorists tore round the country dilating on the value of fresh air and exercise to impaired constitutions. By ; the* way, it is stated that the Waikato farmers, who claim to be authorities about this sort of thing, except an ; early spring. Surely it has not dawned i already.