Heart and Home Chats

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 694, 20 June 1929, Page 4

Heart and Home Chats

By

Anne Rutledge

Miss Anne Rutledge trill answer letters in this column every Thursday. An accomplished writer, an ardent feminist, a student of human nature and a wide traveller , she is well fitted for the task, who have problems and lack u confidante'to help in their solution mag with confidence write to Miss Rutledge. whose knowledge will be placed at their disposal. A sympathetic woman, she will assist those who stand in need of assistance. Communications for Miss Rutledge should be addressed to THE SUM office. THE SMILE THAT FAILS Dear Miss Rutledge: Don't you think that men, getting on in life, should take just as much pride in their appearance as their wives? I have the most generous of husbands, who gives me a good allowance, and a wonderful time, but his teeth take all the joy out of living for me. 1 claim that it is just as important for him to try as much now to hold my love and interest as it was 30 years ago, yet he is afraid of the dentist, and would rather , suffer discomfort than have his decayed teetli extracted. T am very discouraged and do wish that you would help me. OBSERVER. ANSWER There is always a worm in the cabbage, so cheer up! E do agree that if a man would keep his wife’s esteem, he should look well after his teeth. You are true to your womanly instincts in objecting, and if your husband persists in keeping his unhealthy teeth, he will find them an ever-present thorn in the side of his domesticity. Then, too. your husband must find that his faulty teeth draw strongly on his mental faculties. Although drugs may help to keep him going, such chemical ingredients are drafts on the bank of the future, and the loan must eventually be met with usurious interest. A man may dig his grave with his teeth. Bid your husband cast out fear and make him consult a dentist without delay. ANNE RUTLEDGE. THE MOTH AND THE CANDLE Dear Miss Rutledge: 1 am in a difficult position, and would be very grateful for any helpful advice. I was married six years ago, at the age of 20, to a man of 40, flattered no doubt by his assiduous attentions as well as by his experience. I had been living for several years with a maiden aunt, in whose household I held the humiliating position of a poor relation. The first three years of married life were comparatively happy ones. Though not fond of gaiety, there could not have been a more thoughtful husband than mine. Now I am naturally vivacious, loving company and social activities generally. My husband, on the other hand, avoids rather than seeks the society of others, preferring to stay at home. I have tried to interest myself in his work, but I am incapable of assisting as only one with years of experience can be of any use. Rather my husband has encouraged me to attend social gatherings, my escort on these occasions being his best firend. a younger cousin. For two years we have been constant companions, with the result that an intimate friendship has grown into something deeper. I realise this with dismay. I wish to do the right thing, but I cannot decide how I can best fulfil my duty to myself, my husband, whom I do not love, and the man who loves me. DESPERATE. ANSWER You are like the oat who loved fish, but dared not wet her feet, and vour very hesitancy is a step in the right direction. As you do not apparently love the other man, I think you had better wake up! Disperse the selfish dreams and take stock of yourself. Ship some ballast and proceed on an even keel. Aopai*ently your thoughtful and assiduous“liusband did flatter when he honoured you with a safe and sane love and marriage. Xo man nowadays possesses all the virtues, but your husband has manv useful ones, and you should feel deeply appreciative at your good fortune in being entirely lifted out of the uninspiring and depressing “poor relation” atmosphere. It is the old story of the swing of the pendulum, but you have no right to make your husband suffer. The advice I offer is, that you put the brake on—hard on ! If you don’t it might be a case of ‘out of the frying pan into the fire.” It will help if you go away to a restful place alone for a holiday. Reciprocity is a great old principle, so spend a little time in your own company, and gratefully figure out how you can best be worthy of the trust reposed in you. Your influence for good will depend upon the weight of sympathetic reasoning you throw into the scales of thought. Make your home a constant delight. Set your vivacity to work, and provide mental refreshment for vour partner. Later on, when mellow maturity draws beautiful notes from the narpstrmgs of life, you will be thankful. ANNE RUTLEDGE. HER LITTLE COUSIN Dear Miss Rutledge: Having read your interesting answers, I am asking your advice for a little friend of mine. For several years a young man has been visiting her home and for some time seemed very interested in a cousin of hers who lives in the same house with her parents. Lately the young man has been paying attention to the other girl, and it appears he has told each girl that the other can never mean him as much as she—and so on.

i rlus state of affairs has caused ili-f„„, I lll = between the two girls; also di i i-onl m the home. This voung girl fj IS. and has never been interested in any youth before. 1 would be - r »,“ ful for your advice. K ate ' VIOLET | A XSWEI: Every girl with a grain of intelliirenr. ■ m her head knows there are ‘ as srnnfi * in iii,. w,. ■ ■ vt in ,„. ‘ fish : sometimes bump g? £aks"i,’ t I Ua n cfusmm^ i h o us , e he • tyl * *• Fortunat.lr. your little friend is vouns. I enough x«* recover rapidly from lusionme.it. At Is life is full S n! U m V sc , and \ lop f* a - n ? * v " u,h '' vill be server I advise both girls to expose tint man’s fast and loose behaviour For hu , double-dyed deceit. he deserves i old shoulder from the entire Your friend has reason to con t ;ramS!fe herself on being spared the sufTerln. that might have accompanied a breat of a more serious nature. AN-VK RUTLEDGE. A PROSPEROUS CONTOUR Dear Miss Rutledge; I have a problem and therefore I respond to your invitation. My W ifg haunts the beauty shops, and as a resuit she keeps a wonderful slim figure' I am stout in build and have tried to' reduce without success. Franklv [ don’t feel comfortable or graceful.’for people must compare our respective appearances when I escort my wife on social activities, etc. Perhaps you ran suggest a helpful idea? husband. ax a TVER If Fat does not bow to you, you must bow to Fat, so don’t ruin a good time by uncomfortable self-cons.-inusness when you are out with your wife. It is really humorous to think that you should carry such a notion in your head when it is realised that multitudes of thin men just, crave for the important and prosperous looking contour that you possess. Think of the males who anxiously survey their slenderness every morning and would give a great deal to be wel! upholstered, but they haven’t a hone if they are of the wafer variety. Believe me, in These days of dog-eat-rfogr, it is an asset to have bulky physique ; The world admires the successful bir ; man as he shoulders his way along So don’t be unhappy, and think' about feet or the waist, for with men these considerations are different. Of course if you pay careful attention to your clothes, and always appear well groomed it will help to modify that *‘bavwindowed” look. I suggest, too. that you adopt the following suggestions. Don’t over eat, and go -lightly on sweets, potatoes and white bread. Drink lemon ju»c« upon rising, and take plenty of exercise, ANNE RUTLEDGE. OPPOSITES ■ Dear Miss Rutledge: Your wide understanding of human nature compels me to seek your advice. About three months ago I met a girl at a dance who appeared to he very attractive. I saw her home and met her by arrangement many times after that. Our acquaintance soon developed into something more intimate. All too late I discovered that her accomplishments were limited to dancing and other frivolities which I could only look upon as relaxation front more serious matters. In 3hort, ve move and work in entirely different spheres, and are unsuited to each other. Now I had hoped for a girl who could be interested in. and talk sensibly about, more vital matters than the perfectly obvious condition of the weather and the dancing floor. Unsuccessfully I have tried to sever our relations, but she has written me many intimate and endearing letters and shows every Indication of pursuing the affair. Although I think it rather callous to ignore her as I have done for weeks, I realise that something mast he done before it is too late. I would be very grateful to you if you could advise me what to do. * A.W.K. AXStWER. If the lady in question has no claim on you, why worry? Worry is a wanton jade and while we encourage her, she cheats us of health, self-reliance and better judgment. Comfort yourself with the thought that you have had a lucky escape, that the scales have been removed from your eyes in time to allow you to sum up the’ real moral force of your friend. Just as a bramble tree fails to p:o----duce figs, so it follows that a. shallownatured woman cannot be expected to prove an inspiring and uplifting companion to man. The chances are that you will be borrowing trouble if you become weakened by the endearing letters, though it might be advisable to acknowledge these with a courteous little note explaining that studies compel you to neglect the dancing floor. Adopt a firm attitude, for you do not love this girl. In the fullness of time you will meet a real companion after your own heart. ANNE RUTLEDGE. Dear Miss Rutledge: I My little son, age three, is very anaemic, and I wondered if you could suggest some form of diet to help i effect a cure. LINDY. |ANSWER ' ' Anaemia is chiefly the result of lack of iron in the blood, and the most important food in the prevention of anaemia and in the cure of such a condition « £ already exists is liver. Beef, calf, P®** and lamb livers are extremely valuable foods, and some authorities recommend the use of finely-chopped and coo Ken liver in the diet of all children more tnan three months of age. Be sure to give liver to your son at least twice a ween, as it is one of the richest food sources oi iron and it also stimulates the production of red blood corpuscles. . Fish, poultry, dried fruits, lean beer, nuts, cereals, all provide iron in a *erm easily assimilated by the body. Parsiej, although it cannot be eaten in any gr|f' amount, contains more iron in proporuoi to the leaf than any other vegetable, • you will do well if you place some (nneiy chopped) on your little one’s plate eac rl ij ’ ANNE BVTLEDOE.