FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 691, 17 June 1929, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By “THE LOOK-OUT MAN." THE CAT BURGLAR A man sweeping chimneys on a city hotel roof was thought to be a cat burglar, and the police picketed the building. Oh, chimney sweep, with no intent to burgle, Amid the soot and grime. Sonic reassuring password kindly gurgle, That you've no thought of crime. Because ice fear you're on some curious wicket Up there upon the roof. And so have placed a dense, impervious picket To gather final proof. Oh, chimney sweep, you look so like . a stick-up About to thieve and rob. What other sound impressions could we pick up When you’re upon the job? Though innocent, your name shall live in glory (The passers-by all flinched). You brought the picket out and made story, Although yon were not pinched. —Beowulf. THE VEGETARIAN The theft of Is Sd worth of vegetables by a man the other day was described in the Police Court as “contemptible." He’ll know his onions next time. SOUYENIRS At the Police Court on Saturday a woman charged with stealing a soup spoon from a city restaurant was fined £2, but it is interesting to conjecture what the total fines would be if every collector of tbis type of “souvenir” was punished on the same scale. In the seaside establishments run by young bachelors it has long been a tradition that the cutlery and other appointments must reveal a diverse taste. In one centre of convivial hospitality the owners boasted that every hotel on the Great South Road had contributed an item to the household appointments. Naturally flaming youth when calmly appropriating a salt spoon or a pint mug has no criminal intentions in mind. Nor do innkeepers mind contributing an occasional spoon for the sake of good fellowship. But when the whole -world goes on a souvenir hunt, what is going to happen to property? SOMETHING MISSING That vague feeling that there is “something missing" has perplexed more people than the New Plymouth shop assistant who returned to the establishment after a short absence to find that an enterprising customer had departed with the cash register. In the same way people can walk as usual along a familiar street and have a subconscious impression that there is something funny about it, yet. not realise until they reach the office and get hold of the paper that a fire has cleaned out half the block. Incidentally the gentleman at New Plymouth is to be commended, if not for his standard of moral integrity, for starting a new line in petty larceny. It looks as though the celebrated “cash and carry” system has at last been put into real effect. 'QUAKES_ Reactions to earthquakes are largely governed by the intensity of the shake, and perhaps by the character of the surroundings. We have the word of an architect friend that a steel frame building, being more elastic, will stand a ’quake better than most reinforced concrete structures, and as The Sun building happens to be a steel frame affair, this would have been a consoling thought had it happened to come to mind. Of coui-se, it wasn’t much of an earthquake —just a mild little oscillation that set the lamps swinging amiably. What might have happened in the pit of the stomach had the pen begun zig-zag-ging over the writing block like a seismograph is beyond telling. To look out over Queen Street and see adjacent piles gradually assuming a horizontal position would be an entertaining experience, but to have that experience terminated by a linotype machine coming through from the floor above would be less attractive. Of course, it's not much use having reactions to inexorable things like earthquakes; but even the bravest have them. On a hill outside Wanganui is a tremendous war memorial tow T er like an immense factory chimney. One day the local fire brigade superintendent, a man of pretty steady nerve, was ascending its core of spiral steps when an outsize in earthquakes happened along. The tower rocked like a sapling in the wind. Even an ex-sailor like the superintendent found the swaying a little trying. Still, he gamely carried on after the shake had stopped, •to see what had happened to his domains, and to ascertain if “the boys” had made a good getaway to the inevitable fires. He was very much surprised on reaching tne top to find Wanganui still in its accustomed place.