From The Watch Tower

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 679, 3 June 1929, Page 8

From The Watch Tower

By

“THE LOOK OUT MAN.”

THE ODD FRACTION A candidate at the British elections lost his £l5O deposit by three-quarters of a vote. A fourth of a mm—what's it worth fa a base anatomical senset But, ah, how portentous the dearth, How scant the occasion for mirth , When it comes to pounds, shillings and jicnce. BEOWULF. * * * THE DEDUCTION A new standard of honesty has come to light. A man found a wallet containing £l6 10s and papers, and returned it intact to the man who’s name was inside. At least, it was intact up to a point. There was a deduction of £2, which the finder had abstracted as his “reward.” He has evidently heard of people who reward honesty with a shilling, or even less, and was taking no chances. WITH THE ANCIENTS Ancient and modern can sometimes be happily, if fortuitously, blended. One of those great artists whom the talking screen has brought nearer to the masses is an Italian, one Martineili. Singing from the screen he sounded fine. Perhaps he was the vocal equivalent of “it,” whatever “it” is, that gives screen artists their subtle charm; but at any rate, he reproduced well. Hence a couple of impressed picturegoers called at a gramophone shop. “Have you any records by Martinelli?” They had. “Would you play it over?” They would be delighted, On went the record, a little slice of original Verdi, and down went the faces of the listeners. “Oh, this is no good to us,” said one. “It’s in Latin.” THE TELLTALE BURR Methods employed by suspicious husbands and wives in tracing the movements of erring partners, have been ventilated at the court sessions —or divorce mill—this week. Nothing to approach the Ingenuity of an American husband has yet been suggested. Suspecting his wife, he placed a burr marked with red thread in a friend’s car. She came home with the burr on her coat. The subsequent proceedings, in which the husband sallied forth and shot his friend five times, are not commended. Nor is the parsimonious intent of a husband who gave his one-legged wife a high-class artificial limb for a wedding present. Her affections cooled, and in suing for divorce, he sued also for the return of the leg. The first suit was successful, but the second was not. HEEL'S CORKER Near St. Etienne, in the pleasant land of France, is a place bearing the unpleasant name of Hell's Corner. It is not the first to bear that name, nor will it be the last. However, it has lived up to the title. According to the cables, a motor-car containing seven people tried to take Hell’s Corner at too fast a clip, and dropped 70ft. The proprietor of the establishment no doubt watched with Satanic glee. It is worth speculating what effect grimly sardonic names like this have on the nervous driver, EJvery* one knows the jester who damps the spirit of a perfectly congenial party by suddenly saying, as the car is flying at a pleasant fifty toward what looks like a gentle bend: “This is the Devil's Elbow.” There are also Devil’s Punchbowls and Devil’s Ditches scattered in profusion round the countryside, with a few Purgatory Corners in between. Purgatory Corner has a particularly sinister flavour, enough to overwhelm a weakminded motorist by auto-suggestion alone. COLOUR SCHEMES Colour plays an important part in the life of the modern motorist. He lias just discarded a set of brown and white number plates for new ones in a tasteful shade of blue, with white figuring. Future reviews of motor parades may read something like this; “Mr. Speedway Teagrave arrived in his Comet, which was enamelled in a nice shade of peacock blue, with maroon facings, the dash was in the Georgian mode, with silver filigree round the speedometer.” It is noted, by the way, that recent models from America reveal more black in use •among motor colourists and auto fashion leaders. This will not prevent the New Zealand motorist from adding to his collection of motor number plates. Already there have been green and white, black and white, brown and white, black and yellow, and the future possibilities are endless, though when the plates become pink with purple lettering the fastidious will need to buy their cars with an eye to clashing colours. As the years go by the thrifty will be able to build fowlhouses, dog-keunels. and even garages from the discarded plates, or else may preserve them with pride among the family archives, so that mother will say to son. “Your grandfather used that on his Baby Austin in ’29.”