PERSONALITIES OF THE DAY

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 659, 10 May 1929, Page 8

PERSONALITIES OF THE DAY

By “THE LOOK-OUT MAN

NERVES The Mayor (discussing transport and the polls): "The public is in such a nervous condition that we should take things quietly.” Let earthquakes rock and devastate the The populace mill stall serene and calm. Should floods not leave us sitting quite so pretty, As usual — still, not ours to show alarm. Let heat leaves bring an atmosphere that's torrid There's no great fuss — it’s just a little horrid. But let strong men he ousted at the poll. Let A llum go, and Baildon conquer Vaile. Then terror takes command, and wracks the soul; Husbands bleat feebly, and their wives turn pale. Worst thing of all to make the people Are doubts and fears about the transport service. Here at my desk, like aspen all a-quiver, I wring my hands and masticate my pen. With palpitating heart and limbs that shiver — Assuredly the most miserable of men. Nervous r i’ll say the plea is pretty handy. I’ll hie me forth and take a glass of — milk. BEOWULF. * * . TOOK THE CUE Among lads fined this week for failure to attend drill was one Zambucka. The Defence Department is rubbing it in. * * * ROLLING HOME The Maui Pomare is having trouble with her engine beds. They have been rocked in the cradle of the deep. * * • THE END OF ALBERT Died recently in America, Albert, dean of circus elephants. Eleven years ago pachydermous Albert was smitten by hay fever, with earth-shaking results. After that, the snuffling ungulate was permitted to spend his years beneath the Florida sun, until lately he was ordered north by his owners. North he journeyed, and swiftly contracted pneumonia. Despite depth bombs charged with quinine, and gallons of legally prescribed liquor, he died. Observers noted that he died most opportunely, just in time to burst into print before the circus’s splendiferous opening in New York. Thus did Albert serve his owners even in death. * * * PLEASE COPY A good parent wants to know the significance'of an attachment to a birth notice, “Dunedin papers please copy.” He asked whether it was suggested that the good people of Dunedin should bear in mind the benefits conferred by a higher birth rate, or whether the advertiser merely wanted to broadcast his good fortune. It was necessary to inform him that the injunction is more often wasted than not. Busy editors do not con the advertisement columns of their distant contemporaries to find out if Mr. Proude-Sire has had a son. The only satisfactory course for the parent to take is to go down to Dunedin and “wet the baby’s head” in the traditional way. Friends will then he pleased to take notice. THE LONG NIGHT WATCHES What a lot Parliament will miss if it is really decided that there shall be no more late sittings! All-night sittings are not common. Only two or three last session went through till dawn, -when a cold grey light comes filtering in through the glass dome above the Lower House chamber. But many others went on until 2 a.m. or 3 a.m., and round about one o’clock is the regular hour for the conclusion of business. It is all very ridiculous, the sight of a somnolent chamber, with one or two members comatose on their benches, and others drifting in and out from the lounge and billiard room, but Parliamentary liberties and facilities for full examination of measures are delicate things to meddle with. If the House adjourns each night at 10.30 there will be no need for the usual supper interval, from 9 p.m. rill 9.30 p.m. This sacred period has in the past been dispensed with on only one or tivo epochal occasions. For the pressmen sitting in the gallery a supper is provided again at midnight, and every three hours thereafter. In the event of an all-night sitting, the House sustains itself by working in relays, though last year Mr. W. D. Lysnar, fighting the Mental Defectives Bill, went through a 23-hour sitting without leaving the Chamber for more than five minutes at a time. Usually in such cases the House adjourns for breakfast at 7 a.m. or 7.30, and there is immediately a rush for the bathrooms, with which the establishment is liberally fitted. Elderly members naturally have no liking for all-night sittings. An Inevitable sequel to the proposed new arrangement will be longer sessions.