Heart and Home Chats

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 658, 9 May 1929, Page 5

Heart and Home Chats

By

Anne Ruledpe

Miss Anne Uutledje tvili answer letters in this column every Thursday. Ah accomplished, writer, un ardent feminist, a student oj human nature and a wide traveller she is well fitted for the task.. Those who have problems and lack a confidante to help tn their solution may with confidence write to Hiss llutledye, whose knoivledye will be placed at their disposal. A sympathetic woman, she will assist those who stand In need of assistance. Communications for Miss Rutledge should be addressed to THE SUX office.

PURSUED Dear Miss Rutledge,— I have been a widower for over 15 years. I lead a very secluded life. Until quite recently 1 was content to live in this groove to the end of my days, but now l am a little restless and unhappy. A woman (a widow of about 40) has unsettled me because she seems to be so very interested in my welfare. She thinks that 1 should not live alone, and. as her fiat is opposite to mine, I am wondering whether to move or to marry her. What do you think about it? X.Y.Z. AXBWER Move! You are apparently not strongly attracted toward this woman, and 1 am sure you will l’eel happier without her influence in your life. It is very hard tor a middle-aged man to adapt himself to the ways of a stranger, and once the knot is tied, yours will be the responsibility. You will be forced to change “the even tenor of your way.” Gone will be the quiet peace of your surroundings, and you will be obliged to do things the way she approves. Unless this woman has an exceptional temperament, the sacrifice you will be called upon to make will not be justified. It is unwise to marry just for the sake of marrying, especially when you are really happy to be alone. If I were in your shoes I would move to a quiet spot where you can enjoy a garden. There is nothing like cultivating a few flowers and plants to give one a sense of peace and securitv. ANNE RUTLEDGE.

| THE OLD SCHOOL-FRIEND | Dear Miss Rutledge,— I Do you think that I should alarm | I myself unduly because my husband i ! seems to be taking a friendly interest; in my old school chum? At present, ! owing to a bereavement in her family,; j she is making her home with us. | | She is younger than I am, is good-1 j looking and has plenty of “spark.” ' |My husband always likes her to aci company us when we go to places of ! amusement, and he is much jollier ! in the home since she came, as well as keenly interested in all she says and does. I notice, too, that he never reads a newspaper when she is lat the table, and he always gulps i down a meal if she is going his way. i Somehow I feel that these two are ; striking up a flirtation, and as 1 am | very fond of my husband and greatly I admire my friend, 1 naturally feel queer about the situation. 1 do hope I that you will be able to advise me. GREENLEAF. ANSWER Flirting, like most other diseases, is often accompanied by alarming symptoms which, if not checked in time, lead to much suffering and mental anguish tor all concerned. You will be wise to give a gentle hint to your friend that vou are in need of her room. Be very tactful about the matter, and avoid any wounded feelings. Regarding your sentiments and suspicions, keep these entirely to yourself. Absolutely refrain from suggestions, apart from making it quite clear to your friend that she must 60. When you have your husband to yourself again take my tip and lay siege to his affections for all that you are worth. There is nothing in the world so flattering to a man as the knowledge that his wife is in love with him. Feed the fire of love with the fuel of sympathy and understanding. Spend money so that you may appear attractive in his eyes. Persuade him to give you a good time, even if you are run off your legs for a month or two. These mollifying tactics in moderation will go a long way, and you will soon find yourself appearing more than attractive in your husband's eyes. AX X E R L'TLEDGE.

COMPLETING HER EDUCATION I Dear Miss Rutledge.— l am concerned regarding the best ! thing to do about my daughter. She ! is looking forward to being a shortI hand typiste in a good office, and i wants to go through the University! | first to win a degree. Do you thiuk j that a University training is neces-! ; sary ? B.D. ANSWER From the point of view of utility. 1 consider that a University education is wasted unless the student is studying specially for a profession requiring the advanced courses. Any girl of average intelligence should be educated sufficiently for the position of stenographer by the time she lias passed . • ... n and a commercial college. Actual commercial experience is then needed. There are a great many competent stenographers who have never attended a high school, just as there are a number of prominent business leaders to-day who did not have the advantage <>f high , school or University education It L would be far better if all boys and gills, with few exceptions, left school at 15 cr 16 years of age and learnt a trade cr • business, and T am sorry that the old , apprenticeship idea is gradually dying out in some countries. While recognising the great value of Universities, there is too much camouflaged idling going on, and wnite collar . professions and jobs are being swamped, f ANNE RUTLEDGE. A QUANDARY 5 N J ; Dear Miss Rutledge,— ‘ I have read with interest your replies to letters in The Sun, and I „ feel that you are absolutely full of . sympathy and understanding for girls , of my age (22). About five years ago niy parents brought the family to New Zealand from England. We did not meet with the best of luck in the city, so we went to reside in the country. I missed all my friends, ’ particularly an exceedingly nice young man I met on the voyage from Eng- ■ land.. Although no definite under- : standing existed between us, aud we . failed to correspond, there was a feel- ; ing of more than ordinary friendship. ’ Twelve mouths later, this young 1 man’s family gave me a pressing inL vitation to visit them, which I acL cepted. The young man gave me a - warm welcome: his family did the • same. 1 spent a very enjoyable j time with them and was asked to i come again. This opportunity never 1 occurred, as l was in hospital and had poor health for some time afteri wards. I still correspond with the [ young man’s family, and as I am very . fond of him, wonder if you would adr vise me to pay another friendly call [on his people? They did not answer my last letter, but I continually hear of them from mutual friends. I feel

confident that you will be able to j help me. DAPHNE. AXSIVER It seems to me that your illness would have afforded the young man in question 1 the opportunity to “follow up” the friendship. Also, by what you write, his | family appear to have been remiss in making suitable inquiries while you lay in hospital. However, for the sake of your own peace of mind, there will be no harm in dropping the young man’s mother a note, suggesting a friendly call. Why not invite her family to call upon ' 'After an exchange of calls, you should be in a position to know if the young man is likely to reciprocate your affections. Tf he continues to keep his aisAX'NE RUTLEDGE. KEEPING FLOWERS FRESH 1 [ Dear Miss Rutledge,— ‘ Can you advise me how to keep ; flowers fresh over a fair period? Surely after the first day of picking, : when they first begin to droop, there - should be some way to revive them i and give them a new lease of life. BEE. ■ AXSWEI? Be sure that the flower water is changed every day, the stems clipped, and all soggy foliage removed. Flowers like fresh air, and heated stuffy rooms aften cause premature wilting. Most flowers require an abundance of water, and it is a good idea when clipping the stems to do this under the water. If you have some particularly fine blossoms that you wish to preserve over a period of weeks. tiy dipping them in liquid paraffin. Melt the paraffin and immerse the blossom, leaves and stem, and then - drain carefully until thoroughly hardt ened. Be sure to do this immediately . the flowers have been cut. Iveep in a dark, cool place until required for use. ; A little salt or a few drops of camphor , (added to the water) will greatly revive wilted flowers. Also, astonishing results • may be obtained if you first plunge the l stems into hot water and then into cold. , Should you wish to send a box of blojs- ' soms. fresh from the garden, to some i friends, simply protect them from the t air and light, by packing carefully in r tissue, sprinkling with cold water, and * dispatching quickly in a closed box. ANNE RUTLEDGE. -•_ • | TWO ANSWERS - ANSWER TO “BETTY” Sponge the shiny parts of your coat , with blue water (cold). If this does not remedy the trouble, try a weak solution ' of ammonia. It might be a good idea j to turn the coat if It is too far gone. , ANNE RUTLEDGE. I NSW if ft To “BROKEN HEARTED” Most decidedly let the young man go out of your life! You are foolish to * think twice about any man who is of r that calibre. According to what you . have written to me it is quite apparent . that he is trifling with your affections. 1 Again, how can you expect to be happy • with a man who does not even show you . ordinary courtesy before you are mar- , ried ? 1 ANNE RUTLEDGE.