NO MAN CAN BE TRUSTED!

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 648, 27 April 1929, Page 22

NO MAN CAN BE TRUSTED!

SHERE has always been the problem of the other woman. The daughter of Lilith is not a new phenomenon in the world, but perhaps never has she been so dangerous a menace as she is to-day. The increased freedom that the modern woman enjoys, the greater tolerance and liberality of thought, make it easier for her to lure the man from his domestic apronstrings than ever before. The havoc that she can work, the happy homes that she can set tumbling, is constantly and forcibly brought to my attention by the letters from wives who seek my advice on this. most baffling of questions. They know that while they may have to cope with the problem only once in their lives, with me it is a problem that, must be faced daily. Because of Mr. Ziegfeid’s prominent position in the theatrical world, every girl who aspires to success on the stage throws herself at him. To hold him, these many years against the wiles of some of the most brilliant and beautiful of young women, who so relentlessly pursue him from dawn to dusk, has not been easy. That I have succeeded in outwitting them seems to qualify me in the eyes of many women for coping with similar problems in their lives. The chief trouble is that most w omen go blindly along in their smug belief that, once having won a man. no further work is required to hold him. They take his fidelity as a matter of course. Then, when the truth finally dawns upon the wife that her husband’s fancy has not only been wandering, but has even been captured, she frantically sets about trying to regain him. To make up in a short space of time the work that she has neglected for years is an almost impossible task. The feeling of conquest is so deeply imbedded in man that, were he to live to be as old as Methusaleh, he will still seek amatory adventures. He w'ill still believe that he possesses the charms of a Don Juan. That is why. given propinquity and opportunity, no man can be trusted. The woman, therefore, who realises that the male is naturally endowed with a predilection for truancy at least starts married life better equipped than the one who takes it for granted that fidelity is tied up with the wedding ring. She will never become slack in her efforts to hold him. Then, should the other woman arrive on the scene, she will leave hardly a ripple in her wake. Unless, of course, it so happens that the love which arises is an overwhelming, unconquerable passion—the kind that can hit this mundane earth every once in a while. Then the only thing the wife can do is to retire from the scene as gracefully as possible. But fortunately such instances are rare. The wise wife, therefore, will do everything she can to make her husband comfortable and happy. She will find out the things that he likes, and she will see to it that he gets them. And, above all else, she will make her home a place of serenitv She will never allow bickering, for nothing hastens love's escape more quickly. The wife who wants to hold her husband’s love will constantly strive for his betterment. She will encourage him to tell her his business troubles, and the things that "worry him. She must never show him that she is not interested. A man can’t drop business out of his mind the moment he gets home. If she wants to be everything in his life, she must share his work. Even if she doesn't understand the nature of it, she can at least give him sympathy and praise. Men are just as eager for praise as women are. and possibly m ° r ® ®°- They delight in being coddled and petted and made a lot of The man who doesn’t get some flattery m his home will have no difficultv in finding some sweet young thing who

thoroughly understands him ai treats him as if he were lord of a? glade. She must also make allowances fcwhat lie has to go through dunethe day, and to try lu ease his whenever she can. But many a mj . returns home completely exhausts by tile day’s routine, with business worries still occupying his mind, ojj : to have his wife greet him with - hundred complaints. She uses * discretion. She doesn’t even until his mind has been relaxed me soothed. Before you know it, thpr are at sword points with each othei If her husband wants to remain ,; home for the evening, she mnstn insist that he take her out. Thwoman who demands this of her huband is paving the way for discord I don’t say that they should alwar sit at home, but the wife should occV sionally be willing to do somethin: that he wants for recreation wither acting as if she were being neglect" or mistreated. In all successful marriages, yon v find that the husband depends on % wife. She endears herself to hie without any physical or sex attra tion. She becomes part and pareof his being. Nothing is too mm trouble for her. She tries in everway to make his home life as beat, tifnl as possible. She encourages hi association with friends whose cox panionship he enjoys, regardless c: whether she likes them or not Love can also be torn to tatter by jealousy. It implies a lack c; trust, and no man likes to feel flu he isn’t trusted. The very basis o: marriage is mutual trust. What can a wife do when another woman is threatening her domestic Utopia? First of all, she must be n calm about it as she can. I reali;that it is very difficult at such a tin not to be at the mercy of one’s rations, but it is the only way in whie: she can have the upper hand. She should take stock of hersel and see where she has failed, or jus: how she can make the fireside a mors interesting place. If she is sure ths: his lapse is not due to some shoe coming on her part, then the bee thing she can do is to assume indite ence. Nothing so takes the fang m: spice out of an affair as the fact th the wife knows, and is acting indS ferently. To my mind, it won’t even tar for them to be thrown together * much as possible. When the mu eoustautly sees the other woman, 2s glamour is bound to wear off. Mei while, the wife can hold her o*> ground by taking it all in a light 1: dignified manner. If she shows jo ousy or becomes dramatic about - she is only adding piquancy to lb affair. The woman who is so untortum as to possess the philandering type® husband must simply make np ta mind to be tolerant —if she feels th she cannot get along without h:E—to end their marriage. Genera though, it is the woman w-ho oughts be satisfied who will rush to get l divorce because of some inconseqee tial thing. How many times women written to me that they do anything in the world to get the’ husbands back. Things that <®* loomed so big in their eyes later ? come trivial. , I am frequently asked whpthe: am not afraid of the dazzling beau 0 ’ that surround my husband. all! The chorus girl attraction t® 1 man is usually a fleeting thing- *■; should I be told that he is see*-; the companionship of some women •• her intellectual abilities, it i* I TV that fear will enter my heart To faithlessness in a husband is not ' so painful as mental and spiritual fidelity. It is more agonising: to lieve one’s husband is s P en ~®jL r , time with a brilliant woman o* r *"..’ of the intellectual stimulation ano _ spiration he derives from her <v panionship than to know that gone off with some flapper or cn • girl.