FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 647, 26 April 1929, Page 10

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By “

“THE LOOK-OUT MAN.”

FLOOD TIDE A resident of Papakura has complained to the Town Board that one night her shoe filled with water on the footpath outside her property. The board was sympathetic and referred the matter to the Works Committee with power to act: In the town of Papakura, Where the rain so often falls, All the residents endure a Condition that appals — The thoroughfares would suit (with luck) An optimistic drake or duck. The days are growing shorter And the dark conceals the flood, All the shoes are squelching water, Or glissading through the mud. (Don’t forget your mackintoshes, And your gum-boots and goloshes.) But the Board is wrung with pity (Still Sir Walter Raleigh lives). S.O.S. the Works Committee That such trusty service gives. . . . And won’t the ducklings be surprised To find their haunts macadamised !” — SQUIDGE. 9 * * THE SHIVERY ISLES From the "‘Daily Express,” London: j “New Zealand has just experienced: her most severe earthquake for 15 years. The centre of the disturbance was apparently Arthur’s Pass, but . . . in other parts of New Zealand the streets appeared to be tossed like sea waves.” Queen Street, for example, simply wriggled—or was that the night of the party ? ALL WORKED UP Great was the commotion among the fowl of the air when the three signal guns thundered over the city from Albert Park yesterday. Pigeons in clouds seemed to rise from every tall building. Gulls wheeled Albert Park and the Northern Club, where they ure fed sometimes by friendly stewards, in angry protest. Only on such occasions does the observer learn the great numbers of the birds Auckland has taken to its heart. BIRTHDAY GIFTS To-day is the birthday of the Prime Minister, Sir Joseph Ward. Gift from the unemployed, copy of the book, "Votes and liow to catch Them” (Ward). From Mr. George Baildon, a trumpet (blown by himself). From Mr. Harry Holland, a bunch of sour grapes. From the lit. Hon. J. G. Coates, portrait of himself (slightly damaged). From the Hon. A. J. Stallworthy, “Divine Appointments, and Why” (Two volumes). From other Cabinet Ministers, portraits of themselves, with halos. WHY THE "OTHER"? As every schoolboy knows, or may learn, there are two kinds of refreshment. But the distinction is rarely handled with such instinctive delicacy as that shown in a balance sheet of the Auckland Savage Club. “By refreshments, liquid, £162; other than liquid, £107.” What shocking extravagance, said a Savage acquaintance, gazing despondently at the last item. IN THE MODE Undoubtedly one of Auckland's most imposing sartorial figures is the Hon. A. J. Stallworthy, who told an audience the other evening that when a man enters Parliament he has to look to his ways of dress. When he first joined the Cabinet a Wellington tailor offered to cut him a suit on approved lines, but Mr. Stallworthy said no. He believed in shopping in his own district. Accordingly he ordered a suit from a tailor in the Eden electorate, and even the enterprising tailor in Wellington had admitted that this was “the goods,” and that Eden, which was the beginning of the world, could also make suits. We can only hope, however, that Mr. Stallworthy’s “Eden Suit” did not follow the lines of the original Eden vogue. PIPE SICK An authority whose veracity is unimpeachable tells of a branch of the Government service which undertook the humane duty of sampling numerous brands of tobacco in order that specifications for the supply of the fragrant weed to prisons and other institutions could be compiled. A gentleman to whom smoker’s throat and other complaints were unknown went about this congenial task with enthusiasm. With feet up on the mantelpiece he smoked steadily until the family hearth was obscured by dense clouds. Unfortunately the strain was too great, the testing officer had become ill, and an important national work is consequently hung up.