FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 634, 10 April 1929, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By “THE LOOK-OUT MAN.’' A MAN OF ACT lOX A dynamite bomb was placed in a box of sweets and addressed to the Governor of New York, Mr. Franklin D. Roosevelt. It was found among the matter in the parcel post at the main office in the city.' A porter kicked the package-, and this caused smoke to exude. He gave it a second hard kick and a burning fuse was disclosed ... (Cable). Among the hags and parcels That were piled profuse and thicks A porter who teas passing Thought he heard a gentle tick, And at a package labelled "Sweets,” He paused to aim a kick. He kicked it even harder, Nor did he spare his shoes, For a cloud of smoke escaping Seemed to presage fearsome news, Till, growing even holder , He trampled out the fuse. Ilail to the man of action, Who can spurn the caramel. The chocolate and marsh-mallow, And his natural instincts quell. Sport with, bombs and save disaster With a kick directed well. — SQUJDGE. KNEW HIE FRENCH A Wellington dominie’s outburst against school French calls to mind the shrewd thrust of an American paper, which mentioned how an interpreter had to conduct the conversation between “Premier Poincare (who speaks no English) and Mr. Seymour Parker Gilbert, agent-general of reparations (who learned his French at Rutgers College).” 'ROPE ARRIVE Four kangaroos and two wallabies having arrived at Wellington for the Auckland Zoo, the sage -who conducts this column is reminded of a Victorian schoolfellow who came all the way to a. New Zealand school to wallow in learning, and brought over a small wallaby no bigger than a rabbit. At least, that was its size when it arrived. It made the crossing of the Tasman in a kerosene case. But Jack grew to be a lusty fellow'. He could jump across a tennis court with complete ease, a feat he performed occasionally to the satisfaction of the entire school. Then he broke bounds one early morning and scared six months’ growth out of a milkman. He was tied up for punishment, and scratched out one eye trying to free himself from the halter. By that time he was far too big to be sent back to Australia, and the owner finally gave him to the Wellington Zoo. If there is a one-eyed wallaby still there, and he answers to the name of Jack, the veracity of this tale will be established. THE CORNET IST Onehunga has other problems than those aired at Transport Board meetings by Mr. Morton, and it would seem that if ever Mr. Morton feels his own vocal equipment is not sufficient to permit him to tackle the whole Transport Board single-handed, he could gather in a useful ally by recruiting to his cause the street preacher whose loud voice is alleged by a local shopkeeper to have drivei> away trade. The gentleman now been requested to modulate his voice, after a discussion in which the Onehunga Borough Council debated the whole question of street evangelism with refreshing candour. The local Salvation Army was the worst offender, according to one councillor, especially when one of its members tried to play the cornet. Another councillor held that the eornetist was .the only musician in the band, a statement which leaves behind a certain doubt as to the capacities of the others. Altogether one is reminded of the old story concerning the leading question: “Who called the gentleman a piper?”

“CHINKS’ PARADISE'' The reason why Law Ke Sail, a stowaway on the Makura, told a Wellington magistrate that he “would rather die than go back to Papeete” is obscure, as Papeete is credited more than any other place on the world’s surface with being the paradise of Chinamen. The Chinese in Tahiti sells you shirts or toothpaste, puts you up at his hotel, and even barbers you. The Indo-China Bank is the biggest banking concern in Tahiti. Soon there will be more mixed Chinese blood on the island than pure Tahitian, as marriages between Chinese men and Tahitian girls are the regular thing. The people who write dreamy tales of Tahiti’s attractions obviously have no antipathy to the Celestial race, and the only apparent reason why Law* Ke San should not wish to be back there is the possibility that he has mortally offended some potent Chinese tong. Anyway, back he goes. The likes and dislikes of stowaways get short shrift from magistrates these days.