FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 625, 30 March 1929, Page 6

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By *

“THE LOOK-OUT MAN.”

THE SIMILE “My client was as sober as the policeman who arrested him.”—Mr. Bryce Hart, in the court on Thursday. I apply no conventional test, To establish my client's sobriety. I don't let my argument rest On the similes Tcnoivn to society. To liken him , say , to a judge, As your 'Worship perceives, ironld be fudge. No hollow allusions I make With reference to pillars judicial. Instead, my contention I stake On a much less exalted official. What John knows the meaning of hopsf £ compare him, my Lord, with the cops. T. TOHEROA. BOTTLES EXTRA. The price of milk when bottle-de-livered is to be increased, owing to the extra cost of delivering in the bottle. It is to be hoped the same factors will not influence the price of other liquid commodities. PARROT TALK Here’s to the parrot which woke the slumbering occupants of a burning dwelling at Remuera. The fact that it was a Remuera parrot should ordi- j narily be a guarantee that it did not j use the unparliamentary language usu- j ally credited to parrots on such dis- j tressing occasions. But this particular parrot was a Mexican one. ILL-STARRED DREDGE 111-starred from the start of her! career has been the Wanganui dredge Kaione. (“eater of sand”) on which one man was killed, and two others gravely hurt, in an explosion on Thurs- : day. Brought out some years ago as j the last word in design and construction, the vessel proved hopelessly unsuited to working the class of material she was required to handle at Wanganui, and an ancient pontoon dredge that looked more like a relic of the gold-dredging days than a marine unit continued to keep the Wanganui River as clear of silt as possible. When put to work in harder material in Wellington Harbour the Kaione was at once successful. Nevertheless the owners had difficulty in selling her, though she was on the bargain-counter for years. It is characteristic of the evil influence that has brooded over the Kaione that Thursday’s tragedy happened when she was on the point of departing for a new sphere of action in Nelson. POPULOUS SYDNEY * The Sydney architect who confides to a contemporary that “the population of New Zealand as a whole is only about that of Sydney alone” is shouting for contradiction. Conceding that Sydney is a very fine city, the tame statistician who browses on the year books and things round these premises nevertheless asserts that Sydney wants almost half its population over again before it equals New Zealand’s total. And that, considering Sydney has just over a million people, is a not inconsiderable figure. It is difficult to grudge Australians their patriotic pride, blit one is reminded of the Sydney motorist who came over here for a holiday recently. “Good Heavens, this is like Sydney on a Sunday,” he said, when driving down Queen Street. Then he got in a tangle at Customs Street, stalled his car, and finished up by buckling a fender. No more was heard about Sunday traffic by his hosts.

THE OPTIMIST It was Thursday evening—late night in the city. Thousands of people were journeying to the suburbs by every available means. Trams were packed to the doors. At the top of Wellesley Street a woman stood waiting at a stop. The motorman of a crow'ded tram saw her, took pity, and drew his bulging machine to a halt. Men clambered down to let the solitary wayfarer in. She clambered aboard, beaming, and called to the perspiring conductor; “Have you seen my book? I left it on the seat of a tram when I was coming into town early this evening. I’ve forgotten which tram, but this might be it.” The conductor drew in a deep breath and. with purpling visage, sought inspiration. But the woman did not w’ait for the tirade. “I wish you men would let me have one look,” she said. Then she stepped once more to the roadway and stood ..waiting for the next tram——.