A JEST OR TWO

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 620, 23 March 1929, Page 27

A JEST OR TWO

Present Arms! — He: You are the breath of my life. Shp; Let's see you hold your breath.

Breaking a Habit.—When me plumber died bis wife took no chances. She buried his tools with him. Domestic Calendar.—Wat: When was your new baby born? Knott: Between the second payment on the radio and the eighth on the auto. Two Birds with One Stone.— 'Jack.” said the plumber’s wife, as he was leaving home on a hurry call, “bring me a jar of cold cream from the drugstore when you come back for the tools you’re forgetting.” * * * Literary Triumph.—'"Hurrah! Five dollars for my latest story.” “Congratulations, young man. From whom did you get the money?” “From the express company. They lost it.”

Say It with Snores.—Wife: T think I hear burglars. Are you awake? Husband: No. And Endurance a Bequest.—Love is a quest and marriage a conquest, says a contributor. And, to carry the scheme through, we'll say divorce is an inquest. Watch for the Sneeze.— She speaks fluently,” remarked a girl behind us at the movie-talkie. “Naturally,” remarked her companion, “with so much ’flu out there in Hollywood.” Hush-a-bye Baby.—lt is suggested that various London commercial activities should .be broadcast. We trust that no attempt to transmit Billingsgate Fish Market will be made until ! the Children a Hour i* aaiely over.

rvariKaturen. *_>sio. Life is Like That.—A little fellow of our acquaintance wants to know why vitamins wore put in spinach and c-od- [ liver oil instead of in cake and candy.