Feminine Interests

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 613, 15 March 1929, Page 5

Feminine Interests

Rearing Children by Suggestion Subconscions Impressions Whipping May Instil Life-Long Fear

You can’t whip goodness into your child, but you can make him a neurotic 1 adult by implanting childhood fears. The highest of all functions is ma- ’ ternity. What greater or more per- ' manent satisfaction and joy does life hold than the gift of a happy and , contented home, brightened with the ] presence of healthy, merry, affectionate and obedient children? . Shortly after a child is brought into the world, his highly sensitive brain ] commences to record every new im- ( pression in his immediate environment. There is not a loving word, a caressing touch, a soothing lullaby of the mother, there is not the sound of a ; clock or the song of a bird about the home, there is not a ray of golden sunshine straying through the window — there is not, anything that, does not be- j come an integral part of bis life* j structure. The child’s life is a continuous | course of new impressions, sensations ; and experiences, all of which are reg- I istered in minutest detail, in the limit- i less depths of his subconscious being, j EARLY INFLUENCES Children at an amazingly early age i imitate the personalities of their im- \ mediate surroundings. The mannerisms, language, actions and peculiarities of those who are in charge of them, parents, relatives, nurses and others, may have a permanent influence upon their lives. Habits come so easily to the young i child that we must make certain that they are good ones. The child is highly susceptible and imitative. He knows nothing of, and cares less for, cause and effect. His thoughts and acts are based upon what he imbibes from those around him. The first consideration of a child’s welfare is its mental and physical j health. This depends largely on the \ mother’s intelligent care and super- j vision. If, in addition to nutritious 1 food, proper clothing, fresh air, sun- I light, exercise and sleep, £he also practises the laws of health—lives; and talks health, the chances are tha; she will bring up a strong and healthy child. Blit if she belongs to that numerous type of mother who constantly suggests sickness, worry and fear, the child will follow in tb€> same track. The greatest menace to the well-being of a child is the fear which so many well-meaning mothers entertain for its safety from disease, accident and j death. WRONG SUGGESTIONS [ There is no doubt that many children get sick and become life-long in-

valids simply because their mothers bring on these conditions by constant worry and wrong suggestions. It is the easiest thing in the world to turn a perfectly healthy child into a complete mental and nervous wreck. Mary happens to develop a little cough; the fearful mother immediately recalls that her grandfather died of pneumonia, and from that moment on the little girl is cuddled, swathed, pampered and confined until she becomes a confirmed invalid. She must

be kept very quiet, she must not be exposed to a draught, she must not go out of doors without being bundled up like an Eskimo —and so forth. There is nothing really serious the matter Ayith Mary. The usual pre-

: cautious and remedies would be quite j sufficient to make her well. The real | trouble is with the mother. It was she who cultivated Mary’s cough from | the beginning. It was she who in- \ stilled the idea of approaching illness I in the child's mind, when she might | just as well have implanted the idea of j robust health and strength. SUBCONSCIOUSLY IMPRESSED A child is mentally and subconsciously impressed by every word that is spoken around it. If the parents are given to habitual quarrelling, the child develops a disagreeable disposition. If they are enslaved by worry and fear, the little one becomes timid and afraid. If their conversation dwells continuously on pain and disease, the young one will adopt the same habit. The practice, still customary with many parents, of frightening children

into good behaviour by tales of bogies, ghosts and policemen: the habit of emphasising the punishment to come on the “Other Side” —such parental errors as these are especially to be condemned as one of the most prolific

sources of later nervous aud mental ailments. Mostly all mental and nervous obsessions and psychic disturbances have their origin in something which happened in childhood or early youth. The accounts contained in the records of the psycho-analyst are amazing pictures of how a child's mind can become the slave of fear. The fact that in practically every psychopathic case the germ of the trouble can be found in some childhood fear expert enced by the patient, should be a well-remembered lesson to parents. It is a strange thing that the most precious, tender, impressionable little creature in the world—the child—is often entrusted to the mercy of a girl who would be rejected if she applied for a job to take care of young animals at the zoo. Yet, in spite of this, she is often given unsupervised charge over this tiny, helpless human being. In view of what has been said, the words of the famous psychologist, Angelo Mosso, acquire added significance. LIFE-LONG TORTURE “Every ugly thing told to the child,” he says, “every shock, every fright given him. will remain like minute splinters in his flesh to torture him all his life long.” While true child education has nothing in common with foolish, idolatrous affection, it must not be mistaken for senseless, cruel severity. The whipping of a child, for instance, is a vile brutality. If there is anything in a child that needs whipping, whip yourself. .There are other and far better means of correction which do not turn a child into a broken-spirited dog. Parents should not even give bad names to their children. Never call your child bad, naughty, mean or lazy. Never accuse them of being careless, dishonest or untruthful. Children may be all of these things, but they need not become fixed habits. Let us remember that it is natural for children to accept the opinions and to meet the expectations that have been set up for them by their parents. Let us not forget that all the methods of education, punishment and redemption are apt to fail if the child is not guarded and directed in its earliest years of character building as a safeguard against the environments which, cause so many young men and young women of to-day to become mentally, morally and physically shipwrecked.

THE NON-MAGNETIC GIRL

A WORD OF SOLACE It you happen to belong to the category of non-magnetic femininity, do not let it worry you unduly! This feminine magnetism business is not all roses and limelight. Many a woman of glamorous personality has gone

hungry all her life for the sort of happiness that comes to the quiet girl, who has neither brilliant looks nor bi'ains, Dor conspicuously alluring charms.

It would be foolish to under-rate that quality of magnetism which opens the doors of opportunity and wins easy homage in the worlds where it makes its conquests. But it is equally foolish to overrate its place in the general scheme of things. And that is what many girls who admire and envy it are apt to do. They should bring a little healthy amour-propere to their

aid, and refuse to sit so liumbly at the feet of the magnetic type. They are not likely to overwork the vein of conceit; they are too inherently selfcritical for that! Self-criticism can be carried too far, until it destroys all the modest potentialities of the nonbrilliant nature. It is something to be avoided; not encouraged, by the unmagnetic girl. There is magnetism and magnetism, in varying degrees: but in every case one of the primary ingredients is unself-consciousness, and another is vitality. Both of these

attributes are killed by constant dwelling on deficiencies. Even the most retiring non-magnetic girl has some assets of her own; some natural characteristics that mark her out from the rest of her fellows. Her very quietness is one of them! She should remind herself that not everyone wants to be dazzled by brilliance. It may be her role to play the modest Aegeria to some gloriously magnetic heman who has no use for a feminine version of himself! Similarly, the quiet girl stands all

sorts of chances in business where her prospects of promotion depend on a woman. Women in authority are not so mightily keen on these magnetic personalities! They prefer the efficient little mouse who gets on with the job and lets the lion take the credit. All of which may savour somewhat crudely of cynicism; but a little healthy cynicism, far from hurting the non-magnetic girl, will hetp her to realise where her chances are, and make the most of them by converting her very limitations into definite advantages. E.V.