FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 611, 13 March 1929, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By “THE LOOK-OUT MAN.” SOFT GOODS The Huntly Police Court yesterday morning resembled a draper's shop.— News item. "This way to the liny trie counter." A uniformed cop With gallant air ushers you down to The end of the shop. Where the justices , sitting in state, are marooned In the sea of silk undies around them festooned. “Our millinery stocks arc the latest/’ The shopwalker says, " Here's a nice line of gadgets with laces. I think they are stays.'’ Thus lightly lie patters, while under the clock Fine fabrics arc hung round the edge of the dock. On the witnesses’ stand arc late models Of various hues And where the court orderly yodels Arc elegant shoes, While the barristers blush, or make comment jocose, On the presence of bundles of filmiest hose. BEOWULF. MYSTERIOUS LAWIiENCE Much is the mystery that a shower o£ publicity has woven about Colonel T. E. Lawrence, the soldier-diplomat of the desert. Even so, there was surprise and amusement in England when the New Yox-k “Times” printed a statement that the usurping watercarrier who seized the throne of Afghanistan after Amanullah’s abdication was none other than Lawrence, engaged on another masquerade! TESTY The tenseness of play in the fifth cricket test is only equalled by the amazing comment of London papers, which piously condemn the slow play of Woodfull, who scored a century for Australia. Woodfull hit only three boundaries in the whole of his innings, and. obviously the men operating the score-board must have had ample time for introspection during his innings. But for the supporters an English side that includes such horrible stonewallers as Jardine and Mead to reproach an Australian for slow play is not only like the pot calling the kettle black; it is like a man inside the Crystal Palace going berserk with a machine-gun. Perhaps it is easy to understand the scene in a London club when the news comes through that Woodfull has scored a century: “Good heavens, the infernal impudence of this bally Australian! Actually trying to emulate Hammond, the bounder!” IMMUNITY Sweet ale the uses of the various concoctions designed to give immunity from the lusty mosquito. There is a mosquito-ridden citizen who has discovered the merits of ope particularly violent brew, and swears that after lie has bedewed his pillow, curtains and marbled brow he can hear the baffled legions drumming blue murder on the sill outside. His faith now is scarcely less than that of an American who sailed by the Aorangi yesterday. He came to Auckland, saw, and was bitten. A wellknown prescription saved him, and allowed him to transport his punctured person to Sydney still alive, which is more than he had at first hoped for. Experiences in Sydney confirmed his faith in the potent fluid. Such was his elation that, as he confessed over a goblet of tea before leaving Auckland yesterday, he even defied the sharks at Bondi by anointing himself with citrouella.

& SK % 3Q!r Hi » -H H- # * & * VKi;KArirj: “Although 1 do not claim to be an authority on the raising ot wild animals,” said the Mayor modestlyand went on to say that the deceased tiger cubs should have been left with their mother. The pronouncement is a trifle belated, and might with advantage have been issued earlier in the form of advice to the people at the zoo, though how they would have squared it with the fact that the last lot of tiger cubs was slain by their parent is by no means clear. What is really encouraging, however, is the growing tendency of our chief magistrates to broaden their influence and develop their general knowledge. Encouraged by the fine example of Mr. Baildon, City Councillors should in future take a course of lessons in washing Jamuna or catching ants for the ant-eater. Extending the principle we may find Mr. J. A. C. Allum oiling the under-carriage of a tram, or some other dignitary taking a demonstration turn on point duty at the Grafton Bridge intersection. Finally, the home of these agreeable phenomena may breed a race of Mayors and aldermen capable of successfully tindertaking the last word in civic responsibilities, the presentation of prizes at a country race-meeting.