Heart and Home Chats

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 606, 7 March 1929, Page 4

Heart and Home Chats

By

Anne Ruttedge

Miss Anne Rutledge will answer letters in this column every Thursday. An accomplished writer, an ardent feminist, a student of human nature and a wide traveller, she is well fitted for the task. Those who have problems and lack a confidante to help tn their solution may, with confidence .. write to Miss Rutledge, whose knowledge will be placed at their disposal. A sympathetic woman, she will assist those who stand in need oj assistance. Communications for Miss Rutledge should be addressed to THE SUX office.

THE BUDGET Dear Miss Rutledge,— Perhaps you can tell me -what to do about my domestic difficulty. My wife and I live happily together, but for one thing. She seems to lose her normal balance over bargain sales, and buys no end of things that we do not want, or perhaps shall not use for another year, and our chance of saving money is continually dissipated in this foolish way. T. h. .vs tr.fr/; ' Give your wife a sufficient allowance according to your means, and encourage her to keep a budget. Be a diplomat. Praise her frequently for being a good housekeeper. If you feel inclined to complain at anything, stifle the utterance and sidestep to hand out a compliment concerning something else. When she economises over a trifle, comment on it flatteringly. Tell other people in her presence that she is a good manager. Shortly, your wife will be enthused to a wonderful degree to please you. Then if she continues to buy things j foolishly, don’t growl, but say that the goods look cheap, and are not at all bei coming to her. or the other members of the family. If the purchase is a hat for herself, tell her that it makes her look years older. Gradually bring her round to think that she would profit by your advice before she buys. Make lip your mind to put so much in the bank regularly, and live on the balance of your income as if it were your actual salary. If your wife overspends, and wants an ad- ! vance. good-naturedly plan with her to go short on something else in the house. It might be a good idea to offer your ; wife a bonus every time she balances her | budget. ANNE RUTLEDGE. ADOLESCENCE Dear .Miss Rutledge.— My boy, aged 16. is not shaping as ] should like. A year or two ago, he showed great promise for he was doing well at school and was fond of healthy games. Now, he spends a great dea of valuable time with girls and neglects both studies and athletics. Do you think that, generally speaking. the i modern girl has a detrimental influence I on a growing boy? M AISLE. j ANSWER

| Your question covers a large territory • | No one lias yet been able to decide which • ! sex has the greater influence over the j ! other. Regarding secondary or high : j schools attended by both boys and girls, \ I I have heard it said authoritatively that ■ the girls had a worse effect on the boys, ■ I than vice versa. Also, when boys at- ■ i tend a boy’s school, studies and games : I get more attention than is the case with : j the boys at a mixed school. j j You must remember that at the age of j ! 16, a boy’s character has not fully de- ! ! veloped, and he is more or less guided j i by outside influences. Again, a great deal : depends upon the personality and tern- j i perament. Some people leave us cold, j some irritate us, some make us feel at • our ease, while again, others enter our magnetic field and give us a pleasant i tonic-y thrill. There are many girls who are high- I I minded, sweet and good with an influence j uplifting and exalting, just as, unfortunately, another type of girl has a reverse effect. Personally. I think that usually the boys;—especially when both sexes mingle together at schools or universities —set the pace or standard for the girls, who naturally and competitively make themselves as attractive as posi sible, and try to get all the fun out of i life possible. Modern life is faster, and j many of the old conventions are being thrown overboard. Here and there, you meet the girl, who, in her weakness or ! in the stress of competition, has cheapI ened herself. But to sum up this problem of boy and I girl: It is the same old story no matter ; how you alter the scene, and your i grandmother had these problems, too. I know of one case where a boy was weaned from the girl habit by parents who found out a natural bent for engineering and encouraged him all possible. Also, they offered extra pocket-money according to his school reports, took keener interest in his progress at games, and generally became better acquainted with ; their son.

OBS FOR GIRLS

! Dear Miss Rutledge,— Ej I should like my daughter to have a = successful business career, but cannot e : make up my mind what to put her to. = | Office work is very badly paid, and = there are queues of female applicants = • waiting to fill vacancies, while compe- E ! tition for better paid work is very E i keen. E J Just now she is helping me at home, |E I hut she does not like housework or = I cooking. She is fairly skilful at cut- j = ! ting out and fitting dresses at home, ; E ! yet this seems rather a waste as she | = has been well educated. Perhaps- you ; = will kindly help me to find a solution = for my problem. = PRISCILLA. = ANSWER = In many parts of the world to-day, after E much careful study, women leaders are = arriving at the conclusion that a girl’s = education is incomplete unless she has = a thorough knowledge of domestic = science, child-rearing, and home-manage- E ment generally. The schools have been = laying far too much stress on mathema- = tics, Latin, and commercial business = training, with the result that every other = girl wants to bang at a typewriter, or = work an adding machine. E True, girls have proved themselves E fully capable of launching forth on a E business career, but accompanying this = “nothing-new-under-the-sun age,” with = its marvellous inventions, its machinery = and robots, a labour surplus is likely. So = that is why mothers are well advised to E encourage their daughters to gain house- = hold experience. The day is not far dis- = tant when domestic art will be high- = brow, and will flaunt scientific rivalry in = the face of her less fortunate sister = Therefore, when you say your daughter = has been well educated, this will not be = correct in future unless she can make a = I beef-steak pie that doesn’t threaten life, = j and can check up the butcher and the E ;“ ; =

Here, I should like to point out that creative work such as dress-cutting and making is easier and better paid than that of the ordinary office girl pursuing a monotonous routine. If you feel that your daughter is best suited to follow this profession be eareful to give her a good start by putting her under a first-class designer and. cutter. The right foundation is half the battle. ANNE RUTLEDGE. ANSWER TO •DOMESTICATED;’ The next time you serve ice-cream as a desert, try a hot chocolate sauce poured over the individual servings. This can be easily prepared with ordinary cocoa, or it is possible that you can procure cocoa syrup which will make the preparation easier still. ANNE RUTLEDGE. ANSWER TO “WINTER,” AUCKLAND Regarding the cream woollen shawl, strongly advise you to let an expert dryclean it for you. It is much more satisfactory in the long run. Powdered talcum (from the chemist) is sometimes successful when dry-cleaning at home, and many people use benzine, and give delicate soiled things a bath, rinsing afterwards in a fresh supply of the benA.XXE RUTLEDGE.

AN UNGRATEFUL SISTER Dear Miss Rutledge,— Your replies to difficult questions ! | give me courage to tell you of my ; problem, in the hope that you can sug- j | gest a solution. My mother left her J home, after letting it furnished, to | I look after a married sister living in j j Wellington. I promised to take care ; j of my sister, aged IS, who was thrilled j at the idea of coming to stay with me ! j to help in the house for her board and pocket-money. I live about a day’s | ! journey away from my mother, and j | have a comfortable home. | My young sister was a help to me for i two weeks, and then she wanted to go j out very frequently, and bring new j friends home to dinner, etc. Also, i people had apparently told her that she I could earn a substantial salary at business, and she helped me less and less. When I spoke to her on the subject she became very independent and started to criticise my way of running the house. The next day she went our , with an old friend who is visiting in the city, and promised to be home in i time to prepare the dinner. She did ; not return as arranged and I had \ cook the dinner. Finally, she strolled in just before dinner without any apology, and I angrily told her that I was annoyed. This led to a quarrel, and my sister denied the a.r-\ rangement 'to help me in the home, and stated that she was just invited to stay with me. Shortly afterwards, i when there was some ironing to do she declined to do it, and asked why 1 could not do the ironing myself. My husband, who knew of the previous quarrel, and heard the last outburst, sharply told my sister to keep her place and be more respectful. Private'y. he told me that as far as he was concerned, my sister was no longer welcome in our home. I am worried because at present there is no place for her to go conveniently. I am also distressed to think that my young sister should behave in such a man-

ner, especially, as I have helped her very materially in the past. W hat would you do?' H . E . | ANSWER First of all do not worry about your i problem, because worry never helped any- i bodv, but on the contrary it reduces physical and mental efficiency. You must | study vour husband and home first. It vour husband is in agreement, frankly i tell your sister that unless she is sorry j about the trouble caused, and will m future carry on harmoniously, doing the | work expected of her, she must leave immediately. You could telegraph your mother briefly telling her the position, and ask her to instruct your sister where l °Such a spoilt, ungrateful girl needs a severe jolt to bring her down to earth; and to compromise now would be unwise. The chances are that your sister is already sorry for her foolish behaviour, if «he wants "to do the right thing, treat her nicelv, though with dignity, without mention or hint of the strained position just experienced and thus assist the whole affair to “blow over.” Remember that the present makes the future, and help to mould the future acANNE RUTLEDGE. ABSENT Dear Miss Rutledge,— Your interesting little chats appeal to me, and now that I have a problem I should be much obliged if you would I help me. ! A few weeks ago, while spending my | Christmas holidays in a small town, I | met a young man who escorted me home from a dance. As it was the last j night of my holidays, we were pre- ; vented from making another appointment. The young man expressed his regret at not meeting me sooner. He seemed very sincere and promised to write to me so that we should keep in touch with each other. I have not yet had a letter, and am rather disappointed. As I intend, spending my Easter holiday in the same town, I hope to meet this young

man again. Now. if this silence continues, shall 1 write and tell him of my plans? SUSPENSE. | AXSWER_ I Perhaps the young man has mislaid vour address, or he may be ill, thereI fore I see no harm in writing to him. Make the letter brief but pleasant, and be sure to state your address. it >ou ■ m eet again and really want his irienct- ! v;hip. make discreet inquiries as to the | man’s standing or character. Ac o l,nc S ! <_>f caution is better than a pailful oi ANNE RUTLEDGE. | A KITCHEN HINT j Dear Miss Rutledge,— | Can you give me a bint that will , Help me when rolling om rich pastry . i How can 1 best prevent the rolling pin j from sticking to the dough? young housewife. ANSWER If vou make a neat cover for the rolling i>in You will find it saves a lot ot time ami effort when rolling out rich pastr. Make it of knit cloth which keeps the rolling Pin from sticking to the dough, thus presenting the use of too much flour ANNE RUTLEDGE. i To catch fowls, make a hook from I a piece of wire and fasten it to the ! end of a stick, such as an old boom- : handle, then hook the leg of the fowl you require. ! To keep a baby’s woolly dress a good I shape, squeeze well after washing, then tack it as fiat as possible on a nappy or tea-towel and hang tiie . square by corners on the line as usual, j When giving a child a useful gift, such as stockings or a similar necessity. put a small toy or some pennies in the toe or pocket.