How to Marry

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 592, 19 February 1929, Page 5

How to Marry

\MUXG sporh. summer and otherwise, and the wise man's forecasts for autumn, nobody will deny that matrimony may be classed t semi-jocosely), as first, foremost and soonest over.

gINCE many articles ai‘e devoted to

conditions surrounding the debutante, we think it only logical to try to follow a later phase of her career:

marriage, to wit. Obviously, “coming out” means emerging into something more than what we call society. It

means emerging into the responsibilities o£ grown-up living and, though matrimony may not be the whole of existence, every one admits (or has until now) that it should be part of a well-rounded life, offering valuable experience and, in its latest manifestations, more variety than ever before. It is hard to get along with it, no doubt, but equally hard to get into along without it, so very early in the history of the human race the question arose as to how men and women could come together on the best terms. In the case of the first marriage on record, that of Adam and Eve, it was simple enough, owing to the lack of choice in partners. Later came complications, and it appeared necessary

\ to decide, not only whom one should | marry, but how one should, if necessary. get rid of wives and husbands when they turned out not to be all one’s fond fancy had painted them in the beginning. The inexorable fact that people do seem different before and after marriage presented a difficulty that was dealt with in various ways. There was the somewhat ' clumsy expedient of adding more wives, apparently in the hope of i spreading their faults thinner. Husbands’ faults did not count in those days. But the plan was not really ! satisfactory, as King Solomon for one, could have told us. He certainly | gave the method a fair trial, for, as we read, he had three hundred wives, 1 each with her own religion and temple. Yet. his domestic life was so inadequate that he was driven to consort ! with chance visitors like the Queen of Sheba, who describes herself so modestly as “black but comely,” but whom we suspect of having had charm.

Since the day of the wisest of kings, all sorts of ways have been tried to ease the matrimonial yoke for the man. But, in the fulness of time, we have shifted the angle from which we look at the question, so that now our divorce courts are chiefly busy with cases of wives who wish to change husbands or, at least, desire to be free to live their own lives — if there is such a thing as a. life belonging exclusively to oneself. It is the fashion to think so, at all events. The modern note all along the line is to get rid of every kind of burden. We have, generally speaking, abolished visiting-cards, corsets, nearly all clothes, long hair, politeness, respect, for parents, for' law, a.nd for the English language; In short, for everything tiresome. We live in tiny apartments, because they are easy to take care of. and send our silver to the hank, because it is too much trouble to

polish it; in fact, the only possessions thought really necessary at present are a motor, a pocket full of money, and a few hundred cigarettes. Marriage and children are among the things that do not seem to fit smoothly into this carefree existence. Indeed, it is often asserted that most unions now fail because responsibilities and troubles spring up too quickly in the path of the newly-wed. We are told that babies and the struggle to make two ends meet tend to drive young people into discontent with each other and that, if a way could be found to lift such burdens from their shoulders at first, mutual affection j would come with growing prosperity j and (as the story-books used to say) “they would live happily ever after.” I This theory, however, contradicts j our experience in other relations in ! life. It is notorious, for instance, that strong feeling springs up between | those who have endured hardship and 1 suffering together, like shipmates on a polar expedition, like soldiers in the trenches, hospital corps under fire, co-workers at any hard task. Their common trials bind them to one another. And how much more should this be true of those who build such comradeship in effort on that emotion which is said to suffer long and be kind. At the risk of being still more obvious and old-fashioned, we must say that we see no hope for matrimony along the path we are now travelling. Marriage, to our way of thinking, can not be taken as a temporary relationship, to be changed at will if i it becomes irksome. The circumstances of our married lot are not what make us happy or unhappy; we may be bored lit a palace and find in a four-roomed flat how sweet it is to be with those we love to be with. In short, persons about to marry* should be sure—as far as mortals may be—that they feel real love, not merely a sensual attraction or a passing fancy*; at least, that they have the foundation to build an affectionate companionship upon when the enchanted atmosphere of glamour has been blown away. Above all, they should not enter on such a union with the thought at the back of their minds that if it does not prove satisfactory they can always shuffle the cards and try again. Permanent marriages ai - e not based on such ideas, and impermanent ones are worse than none at all. In the antiquated ceremony for the “solemnisation of Holy Matrimony,” we used to take each other “for better for worse,” aud, after all, is not that what we do in other relations of life? In dealing with our children, our business associates, landlords, tenants, aud servants, are we, not inclined to take the had with the good? Aud if every time we find the other fellow disappointing we throw him away and get a fresh one, do we gain? Alas, it often happens that “plus ca change plus e'est la meme chose.’’ No, the person to be altered is oneself, and, to close on a still more moralistic , note, we say to the bride of the coming season, or any season, for that matter, “Be good, sweet maid, and if you wot cl find lasting happiness, try to last yourself.”

MY WAY WITH FURNITURE Bv MARJORIE CROOME. Apart from regular dusting, furniture requires to be thoroughly polished- at frequent intervals, in order to clean and preserve tlie wood. Before applying any polish, however, it is most important to see that the fur-

niture is free from dust and grease. ? The latter may be readily removed by t washing the surface over with a cloth ■ wrung out of cold tea. The following liquid polish can 3 easily be made at home, and will be t found extremely satisfactory for ail • kinds of wood. t Take equal quantities of turpentine • and linseed oil; add half the amount r of vinegar and methylated spirit, and - mix all together until an emulsion is v formed. 1 USING FLANNEL J After removing the dust and grease ; from the furniture, applying the polish sparingly with a pad of flannel, rub ! : it well into the furniture, and polish i with two soft dusters, holding the \ furniture with one, and rubbing with the other. Give a final polish with > a chamois leather, taking care to work 1 the way of the grain. • ! Neglected furniture should be sub--1 jected to a thorough washing, in order ‘ to loosen the dirt and prepare the sur--1 face for the polish. Mahogany is best ; washed with a cloth wrung in a solu- • Hon of vinegar arid warm water in equal quantities; dry carefully before - applying polish. i Highly-polished furniture will be L greatly improved by washing it with 1 a mixture of methylated spirit and • water in the proportion of two table- ! spoonfuls of the former to one pint of the latter. When it is dry, rub hard - with a chamois leather; furniture [ polish is not necessary. A QUAINT METHOD When dealing with oak, an old-fash- • . | ioned method is to use a little warm j beer; this not only cleans, but im- . j proves, the colour. After drying, _ ! polish in the usual way. , ! If furniture is to be stored away for any length of time, rub the surface j over with linseed oil or mutton suet. ’ i after cleaning. This process prevents | the formation of dry rot. In cleaning | upholstered furniture, it is wise to , j take every precaution against the . i moth by scattering moth preventive . j on the tapestry. |a $ ' $ To-day’s Recipe k In _ 1 g. STUFFED EGGS i m r-y- .IKE as many eggs os r t - Ln /» quired, a small quantity of PJ [n mayonnaise (preferably home- id i Ln made), a little finely-chopped pars- n| [q ley and celery, pepper and salt to ' [)| taste. Boil eggs till very hard. rG ; [d then place in cold water for half ;l) fd hour to male shells come off cosily rQ j . ; jd TV hen cool peel and cut eggs in '3 j rd halves vertically, removing tin (] j I 3 yolks. Place the latter in a basin 3 i pi mash, and add just enough mayon 3 ! nl naise and seasoning to moisten. 3 I Put the mixture in the hollow cen ;: jj ties of the eggs, with a Utile 3 mayonnaise on top. Serve in lettuce j-j leaves with one or two anchovies .n and a slice of tomato and beetroot m If preferred, place the eggs on n !}j large serving-dish and garnish !“ with tomato and beetroot. 'd ! g _ 3 ' j cA da c_

AFTER THE HOLIDAY 1 DAMAGED BEAUTY By a Woman Chemist Damaged beauty, that is the legacy the holiday leaves behind. A rough, red (or tanned) skin passes unnoticed with the seaside or country folk, but when back at work these beauty defects seem out of place, and spoil the daintiest hands, or the prettiest face. If you have neglected your toilet during 3*0112* holiday, 3*ou must be prepared to take a little trouble now to j retrieve >*our looks. | The hands are sure to be in a bad j j condition, and'they will need attention j whenever they are washed and at j bedtime. The night treatment requires the hands to be soaked in hot water for two or three minutes, dried, and then immediately afterwards a greasy cream well rubbed into the skin. Loose, white cotton gloves, with the finger-tips cut off. may be worn during the night. HAND TREATMENT In the daytime, whenever the hands are dried after Washing, a lotion or cream should he applied. Nothing is better for this purpose than a butter- | milk lotion. If a cream is preferred, j the night one may be used—just a ; touch rubbed in. wiped off, and then a little flesh tinted powder dusted over : the hands as a finish.and to eliminate j any greasy feeling. • \, In applying a cream to the hands j care must be taken that the whole of the hand is treated—not merely* the i back. At bedtime the face must be bathed with hot water and dried. Then a special cream should be applied and left on all night. A witch hazel cream will be found very satisfactory; it will soften the skin and improve the complexion too. During the day, if remaining indoors, a little of the same cream may be used, but it must not be applied before going out: a vanishing cream will be needed then. FOR THE MOTORIST

Certain, outdoor activities leave | their own marks and call for the in- | dividual treatment. The girl on the j pillion, or the one in the side-car may I probably' have blocked pores, so she ! must steam her face before starting on * any cream or lotion cure. It is a very j simple process. The face must be j held over hot water for five minutes, ; the entire head being covered over j -with a towel. No scent should be put i in the water. After the steaming the j skin must be gently dried and no I cream or lotion should be applied that j night. The girl whose skin has become j roughened through constant bathing must use a greasy cream instead of a ! lotion at bedtime, until the skin feels | a little softer, then she may turn to | the lotion. Should the skin be very tender, just j plain salad oil at bedtime will be found the best “aid.” A WARNING A simple remedy for removing a stain from hands is made by mixing together, one teaspoonful of lemon juice, one dessertspoonful of lard, and one eggspoonful of salt. The preparation must be applied to the stain and left on for a few minutes.

If the stain does not vanish at once the cream must be applied again and again until the skin is quite clean. No matter how badly the complexion has suffered during the holiday, no drastic remedy should ever be applied to improve it. A very powerful preparation may appear to do good at the time, but in the end the skin will probably 7 suffer.