Just Talking

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 590, 16 February 1929, Page 22

Just Talking

Speech, Fitly Framed to Delight the Ear, Is as Rare To-Day as the Blue Roses Sought by Prince Pertinax

The best authorities tell us that conversation is as much a lost art as painting on glass; but, since we have to talk in some fashion every day and hour, why do we not take more pains, in this age of efficiency, to make our speech as effective as possible? To say just what we think, clearly and agreeably, is by no means easy. Some people have the faculty by nature, but the majority find it difficult, and it is extraordinary how little attention is paid to this art of talking well. A distinguished man once said that if you wished to give a boy the best chance in life, you should teach him what to say and how to say it. “A man often rises or falls by his tongue,” he declared. We all know this to be true, not only in professions where public speaking is a necessity, but in every-day life, where the words of our mouth affect ourselves and others in the most Important way. There is a prejudice against good talking, an idea that a man who expresses himself easily is insincere and shallow, and that, qn the other hand, lack of fluency is a sign of wisdom, but this is manifestly untrue. The taciturn man can be as false as any silver-tongued orator, for "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.” Another popular fallacy consists in the opinion that one may have clear thoughts, but lack words with which to convey them. Anyone who reflects on the subject must agree that, on the contrary, a person who expresses himself distinctly does so because he has a plain, forcible image in his own mind, and a person with a limited vocabulary is apt to be limited in thought. No one would try to handle a rapier without some instruction and practice, so why should we think that we can wield so difficult an instrument as language without taking pains? We pick up the words we use in a haphazard fashion, anywhere and anyhow. It is amazing how careless we are in this respect. A woman who ■will spend hours in choosing a gown will say anything that comes into her head, regardless of whether it fits her thought or not.

talking to other women, when you do get a chance, say your say, amusingly, if possible, but always briefly. No one is so tiresome as the person who goes on and on, persisting in his story long after everyone has lost interest. Never explain the plot of a novel or a play to anyone who has not seen or read it, and, unless you have been through some hair-raising experience, exciting in itself, do not describe your motor accident or burglar scare in detail.

A man who had lost his leg was pressed to tell how it happened, and he said briefly, “It was bitten off,” leaving his audience freely to choose between crocodiles and sharks, while, as a matter of fact, it had been caught in some machinery. It is, we hope, unnecessary to warn the gentle reader against talking of his or her operation, unless one comes across a fellow sufferer, when, perhaps, experiences may be exchanged with good effect. All this may sound too self-denying to be pleasant, but the apparently altruistic talker has a reward; success and popularity are well worth the trouble of schooling one’s tongue. All that we have said has had to do with the best way of talking; but how about the actual words that we use? Would it not be well to introduce a little more variety, instead of repeating parrot-like the catchwords that happen to be In fashion, whether they express our Idea or not? In common speech, a few words are worked to the bone, while the English language teems with apt, forcible expressions, which no one thinks of using, because it is easier to say what other people do. Then, we are afraid of being thought highbrow if we speak correctly. When a friend makes use of the conventional "How do you do?” it is, of course, a mere form, so do not tell him your state of health; he does not really want to know how you are. But do not be so ungrammatical as to answer, "Fine,” a word meaningless in such a connection, but one which everyone uses. Formerly, an educated person was known by his manner of speaking. His tone of voice and choice of words were supposed to show that he had been well taught and had lived among cultured people. But, now, it is from the lips of college graduates, male and female, that one hears the coarsest and silliest kind of slang, uttered in tones that would disgrace a cockneynewsboy. Many people seem to think that there is something clever in copying the language of a "tough”’ or what is supposed to be such. Some slang, of course, is very expressive, and the language is constantly enriched by words and phrases of that kind. American slang is often particularly apt and witty, and it would be absurd to object to such expressions as “up against it,” which gives a vivid picture of a man w-ith his back to the wall, but much of our talk consists of meaningless ext tarnations. People interlard their speech with such phrases as'“l thdught I should have died!” or "Do you see?” constantly repeated, and it is thought funny to use swear-words mispronounced. as "My Gawd!”, "Hully, Gee!”, and “Gawsh!” We often wish that we could say with Bob Acres that “Damns have had their day.” Sometimes, the discrepancy between a person’s looks; and speech is really startling. One night, coming out of the theatre, we noticed a beautiful girl, fair, tall, with delicate features and a transparent complexion, dressed in a pale blue costume that floated about her. She was so exquisite to look at that it was irresistible to walk as close to her as possible, so that we could hear her speak. And these are the words which came from her lovely lips, in a high nasal tone, “My Gawd! Mama,” she said, “that young fella spoke to me, and I didn’t know him from a plate of soup!” It was completely disenchanting! That a girl who looked like an angel should talk like "Poor Poll” reminded one of the Princess in the fairy-story who dropped toads and snakes from her mouth, instead of pearls and diamonds. The hearer, man or woman, must needs have gone away sorrowful. And the moral of it all this is: let our speech be as beautiful as our looks, if we are handsome, and, if not, let us shine by our tongues, instead of by our faces.

It is always well to know the rules, even if one does not follow them, so suppose we mention a few of the things that go to make up agreeable conversation. For dinner-table or other social talk, always give the other person the lead; do not try to tell your own story first; and remember that people like to talk about themselves, their illnesses, servants, children, and other personal matters. Encourage them to do it, listen with apparent interest, and, when your turn comes, talk about something, not somebody. Why do men prefer to talk to each other? Because they have subjects in common—business, politics, or sports. So, if you are talking to a man, lead up to his interests, and, if you cannot hit on one, ask for information about anything, it does not matter what. All men like to instruct the female mind. In